“This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven: May Your holy name be honored; may Your Kingdom come; may Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need. Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us. Do not bring us to hard testing, but keep us safe from the Evil One.” –  Matthew 6:9-13

I don’t know about you, but I have never really felt like I was much of a prayer warrior. I should be, particularly as a member of the military who should understand the need to ask for resources to fight battles, and as someone who has deployed – prayer being an essential connection and help to my wife and family when I am away. I would call myself more of a prayer firefighter – when there was a fire I would reach for some prayer and try and put the fire out with it. Not really what God had in mind for a healthy prayer life. I was using prayer only as a reactive weapon rather than realizing that it was even more effective as a preemptive weapon.

What surprised me was that the tool I most needed to start praying better was right in front of me. Jesus’ disciples asked Jesus once how they should pray, and He gave them the answer in Matthew 6:9-12. Some of you may recognize the answer as ‘The Lord’s Prayer’, although it is in a modern translation and I first learned it in old English. I learned The Lord’s Prayer as a seven year old in Sunday School, and I’ve never forgotten it, but I also repeated it a lot without thinking about what was in it.

Here’s how it goes:

Our Father in heaven, may Your name be honored (or ‘hallowed be Your name’) – We’re asking that we and others around the world will respect who God is. May Your Kingdom come, Your will be done… – This is a big request. We are asking for the current world order to end and for God to take over. What do we need to ask God to help us to do to hasten His Kingdom? I think we are talking about ministry here, fulfilling the Great Commission of taking the Gospel to every nation and making disciples. Do you know that your marriage and family play a huge part in building God’s Kingdom? Pray for a strong marriage so that you and your spouse are a powerful ministry team. Pray for your children’s training so that they contribute to God’s Kingdom as children and as adults. Pray for opportunities as a family to show others who God really is.

Give us today the food we need (or ‘give us today our daily bread’) – Most of us have enough food, but here we need to pray for other daily ‘bread’. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control – these are the things I need more of on a daily basis, and I ask the Holy Spirit to give them to me, seeing as they come from Him (Galatians 5:22-23). These things help me to be a better spouse and a better parent, so I need plenty of them. This also reminds me to pray for the daily needs of my wife and each child individually. It is a really good idea to pray daily for your family. If you are apart from them, it will give you comfort. If you are experiencing some conflict, it’s really hard to stay grumpy with people you pray for. If everything is going just fine, it’s good to ask God to help you keep it that way.

Forgive us the wrongs (or trespasses, or sins) we have done as we forgive the wrongs others have done – Here we recognize the need to clear the air with God on any disobedience or sins we have been nurturing. Name the things you are struggling with because God can only fix them when they are in the light. Unlike some uninformed representations of God, He is not hovering, waiting to catch you out so He can punish you – instead He is waiting for you to bring your struggles to Him so He can help you. The second half of this is challenging – we commit to God to be as forgiving to others as He is to us. I need a daily reminder of this and ask the Holy Spirit to help me, because on my own I am naturally critical and unforgiving.

Don’t bring us to hard testing (or ‘lead us not into temptation’), but keep us safe from the Evil One (or ‘deliver us from evil’) – I certainly want this every day, because it will make things easier for me. It’s nice to know that God wants me to pray this! Pray it for your spouse and children too.

For a prayer weakling, I was really surprised (though I shouldn’t have been) how effective just following Jesus’ instructions are in helping me to pray. It’s not just the praying that is good either, but by putting aside time everyday to pray through some or all of what Jesus recommended, I have seen God do some things. I feel like I am better engaged in the spiritual battle and I am seeing God work in me, my wife and my children.

Questions to Share:

1. How would you rate yourself as a prayer warrior? Cruise missile, machine gun, pistol, or toothpick?

2. If you’re more at the toothpick end (where a lot of us are), commit to praying the Lord’s Prayer every day for six months, weaving in prayer for you, your spouse and your children. Get a small notebook and write down your key requests and the results you see. You may want to ask someone to check up on your progress or to pray with you just to help you keep it up. Prepare to be encouraged.

3. If you’re at the Cruise Missile end, pick someone you know who really struggles with prayer and pray for them to start to pray regularly.

Excellent or Praiseworthy is posted on Monday and Thursday nights.

I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. — Psalm 40:1

My husband and I had the privilege of being stationed at Aviano Air Base in northern Italy beginning the summer of 2008 until tragedy struck our family two years later. Living in Italy felt like a dream come true, and we frequently pinched ourselves at our new lives in the breathtakingly beautiful country. While overseas we formed close-knit bonds with fellow Americans who attended a small military ministry church with us. We had no idea how important those relationships would be during what would become the hardest part of our lives.

In January of 2010, over a long MLK weekend, we took a trip to a famous pottery town with our five year old daughter Selah and our six week old baby Stella. It was our first venture out with the new baby and unknowingly it was to be our last enjoyable adventure in Italy.

The following Tuesday Selah was eager to get back to her kindergarten class. On that particularly cold morning, as I prepared to walk my daughter to her bus stop, I remember in my post-partum exhaustion fumbling with coats, mittens and flashlights. We hurriedly made our way in the dark, my daughter holding a flashlight while I struggled to hold the baby and a blanket I had wrapped over me in place of my coat. As we neared the end of the road and prepared to cross the busy street, I turned my head left and as I turned my head right to see if the road was clear… Selah ran into the road at full speed. In that split second I screamed for her but it was too late, she was hit by a car and her small body flew through the air and landed in the middle of the road.

In utter panic I ran to her and saw that her eyes were blank. Although I didn’t know it at the time, she was already in a coma. I managed somehow in my desperation to first call my husband at work and then my pastor. Thankfully an Italian passerby called for an ambulance and helped redirect traffic. The minutes waiting for the ambulance seemed like hours. I remember vividly looking up and seeing Selah’s school bus slowly veer around her still body, her classmates faces looking down on us. When the ambulance arrived we sat and waited for 30 minutes while the paramedics decided what to do. They were unfriendly and unemotional and gave us no update on how she was. She was finally airlifted to a hospital in Trieste which was two hours north of the base on the Slovenian border.

Once we arrived at the hospital the news was grim. Because of the language barrier the Italian doctors could not give us much information. The only thing they said when we arrived was it was not good and they didn’t know if she would survive. When we saw her the first time she was badly bruised and unrecognizable with tubes coming out of her brain and her collapsed lung. It felt unreal. I kept waiting to wake up from the nightmare.

My pastor made his way to the hospital and sat with us in the trauma waiting room offering words and prayers at the right moments. A kind Italian nurse named Christina took my six week old baby that first day, and fed her and rocked her. My grief was too heavy to nurture her.

We had to ask permission to be allowed to see Selah in the ICU. Often we would only be granted a few minutes at a time. We would sing her favorite songs and pray and hope that somehow she was able to hear us. Some days we couldn’t see her at all. Our friends would camp alongside us outside the door all day crying and praying for hours on end.

Through the long days we clung to God and we felt Him overwhelmingly comfort us even in the smallest ways. Every night after a long day of sitting in the waiting room we would retreat to our hostel and find comfort in The Book of Psalms and David Crowder’s song “All Around Me.” One particular Psalm that brought us immense peace was Psalm 107:20, which says, “He sent out His word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.” I clung to those words even through my unbelief.

Our days were filled with phone calls from home, visits from church family, our pastor, and my husband’s commanders. A week after the accident as I was heading to the hospital for my last visit of the day, I was suddenly overcome by the thought of being alone that night. I desperately wanted someone or something to distract me from the enormous pain I was in. As I stood alone on the stairwell of the hospital, I felt God’s overwhelming presence telling me that I had to cling to Him and that He was the only way to get through.

Prayers poured in for Selah from all over the globe. Many things happened that we might have before overlooked, but in our situation we knew could only be attributed to God. Italian strangers who had presumably heard of our story from American relatives showed up at our door with dinner. Friends and strangers brought us food, diapers, baby formula and changes of clothes. A dear friend from church, Dayna, gave me enormous comfort. Despite the fact that her husband was deployed and she had four kids, she would brave the four hour journey through the winding, snowy streets to see us almost daily. Her encouragement got me through the hardest days when I wanted to lie down and die.

After a couple of weeks at the trauma center Selah was transferred to a children’s hospital in Trieste. It was a good distance away from the hospitality house where we were currently living. My heart broke at the thought of not being able to be near her. Then the very day Selah moved, a room became available at a hostel run by nuns next door to the children’s hospital. One kind nun who spoke no English comforted me over and over with the word “patzienza” meaning patience. I had to have patience, I believe she meant, and God would heal Selah’s brain.

A kind Slovenian utility worker in the hospital who saw me weeping one day walked over and asked in Italian if I was Christian. I said “Yes” and he gave me a candle telling me also that I must have patience. These acts of kindness were so endearing because the Italian nurses and doctors were often cold and spoke very little to us. They never offered us words of comfort about Selah’s condition.  I could write an entire book on the ways in which God comforted us during this time. Even then it wouldn’t be enough because we saw His presence in every minute of every day.

When Selah was taken out of the medically induced coma a few weeks later she was not the same. She could not walk or talk or control her muscles. Her eyes had changed. She was no longer the vibrant little girl who especially loved horses. One day when we had almost lost hope and believed she might be in a vegetative state the rest of her life, we decided to play her favorite song from the movie “Spirit.” As we played it her face lit up and she began to laugh, a sound we hadn’t heard in weeks. It was the first time we had any indication that she was still herself. To this day I get teary eyed listening to that song. My prayer for Selah began to be for restoration.

At the end of February 2010 Selah was medically evacuated to San Antonio and began her long road to recovery. She remained in the hospital until April of 2010 and received outpatient therapy services for a year and half. Selah suffered a traumatic brain injury and now walks with a slight limp. It’s possible she will have life-long memory problems. However, I never dwell on her being different and neither does she. We are too grateful to God to ever feel sorry for where she is. She has no memory of her accident or the months following, but she loves to tell people about her miracle story. She is still just as passionate about horses as she ever was and is able to ride at a therapeutic riding center near our new duty station.

My own healing has been sometimes a daily prayer to find peace and not give in to constant fear that tragedy will strike again. Only by the grace of God was I able to fully forgive myself for letting her slip out of my hand in that split second.

The man who hit Selah was an African immigrant on his way to work one morning. He and I prayed over her body in the street and I’ve never seen him again. When I tell Selah’s story usually people’s first response is, “I hope the person who hit her had to pay.” I’ve often prayed for him and hoped that somehow he knows that she was healed and that we have no anger towards him. I think he has had to pay enough with his memories.

I am beyond thankful for my church and military brothers and sisters who cried and prayed and uplifted my family. As I go through the rest of my life I am comforted knowing that when terrible things happen God will take care of our every need—from our basic needs of feeding us and giving us warm clothes to giving us a place to rest our weary heads. He also sends us loving people to comfort us in our darkest places, and binds up our broken hearts and sorrows. He will be our strength when we feel like giving up, and when we are ready He asks us to share our stories to uplift our brothers and sisters in Christ. “Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story” — Psalm 107:2

Questions to Share:

1.  Would you tell a story of God’s protection and provision in your life to your spouse which perhaps they did not know?

2. Would you share a story of God’s protection and provision in your life with someone who needs that encouragement?

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  —Ephesians 4:32

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”  —Colossians 3:23,24

“Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.”  —Ephesians 6:7,8

When I was investigating the story of songwriters Bill and Gloria Gaither for the Excellent or Praiseworthy devotional named “Because He Lives” (September 22), I read a very interesting thing about the Gaithers which caused me to think about my attitude from time-to-time.  Gloria Gaither was asked in an interview what her hopes were for her grandchildren and she replied, “First, I hope they will know God for themselves, that they will develop all of the unique abilities that God has put in them, and that they will have healthy relationships that are eternal.  I pray for them, for Bill and me, and for my children at every stage that God will protect us from cynicism. I pray that God will keep us simple and childlike in our faith so that we don’t miss the wonder of it all.”  (Gaither Praise Gathering)

Imagine that—of all of the things she could pray for herself, her husband, her children and grandchildren—she prayed that they would be protected from cynicism.  Wow!  When pondering that, I did a word search on cynicism.  In putting all of the definitions together I came up with this: cynicism is a jaded negativity; it is a distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others; it can lead to despair and a lack of grace. Have you ever struggled with questioning the motives of others? What about your own motives—what you are dealing with in your heart regarding your actions? What motivates you to do what you do? Do you ever find yourself thinking the worst about others and what they do, or the worst of any and all situations?

During deployment I think it’s possible to go into that negative territory of thinking thoughts that are not helpful—that are indeed detrimental. Harboring resentments against leadership, dwelling on questions and fears regarding past, present, and future assignments, questioning the motives of all of those around us who influence our daily positions and taskings. . . all of these can cause every kind of anxiety leading to bitterness against our spouse, our service, and if we’re not careful—even our God. If we lose touch with His sovereignty in our lives, we can lose heart.

My primary care doctor is my hero when it comes to serving others. She is constantly being called on to perform the impossible, oftentimes with “impossible” people. One day, while in her office, I found her secret to dealing with others during their most vulnerable times. On her wall was posted a poem, attributed to Mother Teresa, which is sometimes called “The Anyway Poem”:

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”

It’s all about God.  The more I remember that; the more I think about that; the more I cling to that—the better. As Gloria Gaither so simply stated—knowing God, knowing how He works in us and in others, avoiding cynicism, and keeping the faith through it all—is a wonderful way to pray. Jesus puts it this way, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”  (Matthew 6:33) The result?  Peace.

Isaiah puts it this way:  “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!  Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.” — Isaiah 26:3,4 NLT

Questions to Share:

1. What person or situation have you chosen to think the worst about?

2. Pray for God to transform your mind, your thinking, about that person or situation.  Remember, “For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37)

3. If God intervened in your thinking about that person or situation, what difference would it make in your life?

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. — James 5:16b

During childhood many of us were taught the Lord’s Prayer.  We can recite it “from memory” and it doesn’t mean a thing, if we’re not careful. Whether we call it the “Lord’s Prayer” or the “Model Prayer” it reads like this in Matthew 6:9-13: “. . . Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts (some say ‘trespasses’), as we forgive our debtors (or ‘those who trespass against us’). And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil: For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.”

Whether praying this prayer before going out on patrol in the desert, before going to bed at night, or as part of worship or a discipline of daily time with God, it’s a good reminder to examine this prayer for our “heart attitude” so that it doesn’t become just part of a “check-list of to-dos.”

Dr. John MacArthur quotes a passage in his sermon entitled “The Plan of Prayer” which does just that—examines our heart attitude. From an unknown author it says:

“I cannot say ‘Our’ if I live only for myself in a spiritually watertight compartment.
I cannot say ‘Father’ if I do not endeavor each day to act like His child.
I cannot say ‘who art in heaven’ if I am laying up no treasure there.
I cannot say ‘hallowed be Thy name’ if I am not striving for holiness.
I cannot say ‘Thy kingdom come’ if I am not doing all in my power to hasten that wonderful event.
I cannot say ‘in earth as it is in heaven’ if I’ll not serve Him here and now.
I cannot say ‘give us this day our daily bread’ if I am dishonest or if I am seeking things by subterfuge.
I cannot say ‘forgive us our debts’ if I harbor a grudge against anyone.
I cannot say ‘lead us not into temptation’ if I deliberately place myself in its path.
I cannot say ‘deliver us from evil’ if I do not put on the whole armor of God.
I cannot say ‘Thine is the kingdom’ if I do not give to the King the loyalty due Him as a faithful subject.
I cannot attribute to Him the power if I fear what men may do.
I cannot ascribe to Him the glory if I’m seeking honor only for myself.
And I cannot say ‘forever’ if the horizon of my life is bounded completely by time.”

This anonymous saint is reminding us (and I believe we need reminding in these hectic times and crucial circumstances) that the attitude of our heart will be expressed in our relationship to Jesus and will be reflected in how we pray.

Perhaps you can use these check-points to intentionally examine your heart attitude towards our Lord. Then an attitude check can lead to an action check. . . and then we can demonstrate a truly committed heart on the front lines or on the home front.

Work Cited:  Dr. John MacArthur’s “The Plan of Prayer, Part 1″ is available at:  www.gty.org/resources/print/sermons/2237

Questions to Share:

1. Take the time to pray the Lord’s Prayer, pausing after each phrase to examine what that phrase really means in your life today.
2. If possible, take the time to pray the Lord’s Prayer together with your spouse over the phone.

Editor’s Note:  Oswald Chambers’ August 15th prayer from the collection of his personal diaries reads, “Lord, I feel myself longing for Thee and Thy life, and I am turning to the 91st Psalm for assurance–’Surely He shall deliver thee.’  Lord, I am assured of it, and would thank Thee for the sweet sense of Thy protecting care.”

^1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
^2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
^3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
^4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
^5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
^6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
^7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
^8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
^9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the Lord, who is my refuge—
^10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
^11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
^12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
^13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
^14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
^15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
^16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

For thousands of years, this psalm has been an inspiration, comfort, and promise for warriors in harm’s way. It is amazing to read the ancient descriptions of warfare described by the psalmist, and compare it to what we see in the global war on terror today. Insurgency, snipers, suicide bombers, IEDs, environmental terrorism—they seem to fit into the words “fowler’s snare”, “deadly pestilence”, “terror of night”, “arrow that flies by day”, “pestilence that stalks in the darkness”, “plague that destroys at midday.” What does God have to say in Psalm 91 that can calm our fears and help us to face the challenges?

Verse one begins with a great truth written in the third person. . . that he who dwells, or abides, in the shelter that God provides will be resting in His shadow. The psalmist then makes this personal and speaks in the first person. . . stating clearly that God is his refuge, his fortress, his God whom he trusts. This is a magnificent testimony! Was this David writing to his son, Solomon? Some have suggested this—but we do not know. Certainly a warrior like David would have much to share about the faithfulness of God in battle—things that he might want to pass on to others as means of encouragement and wisdom.

The description of God’s shelter in verse four is the image of God’s wings which surround, cover, protect. . . with His faithfulness as a shield. Within that bunker of strength the reader will be separated from the devastation around him. Is this physical protection or spiritual protection? We need both—not just in our physical battles but also in the realm of spiritual battles.

Verse nine begins with another great truth. . . that he who makes God his dwelling will be protected and guarded. The statement of verse one now becomes the challenge of verse nine with the word “if.” That is always the challenge. . .and the choice. Will we choose to dwell (abide) in the dwelling place of God?

If the reader chooses to allow God to be his shelter, as the psalmist proclaims that he has done, then the LORD speaks the greatest truth of all in verses 14-16. He tenderly, yet powerfully proclaims that those who love Him, who name His name. . . He will rescue. Our cries for help, in the form of prayer, He will answer and His protection is sure even in the midst of battle.

And how does the LORD provide and protect? With His presence, His peace. We can trust His faithfulness knowing that He loves us, has a plan for our lives, and desires for us to live eternally with Him. It is fitting that the psalmist ends this beautiful poem with the great truth, “and show him my salvation.” Do you know his salvation? His salvation was provided by the ultimate warrior, Jesus Christ. In the past, two thousand years ago, He faced the all-time champion of evil at Calvary and shed His blood in death on the cross for our victory. In the present we continue in battle with the enemy, but have His armor with which to stand and fight. And in the future day He will return, fight the last battle, and reign victorious over all the earth.

How can we, in this modern age, personalize Psalm 91, this “warrior’s psalm”? In any verse where you see the word “you”, insert “me” or “I”. For example: “If (I) make the Most High (my) dwelling—even the LORD, who is my (the psalmist’s) refuge—then no harm will befall (me), no disaster will come near (my) tent. For He will command His angels concerning (me) to guard (me) in all (my) ways.” vs. 9-11

And for the loved ones at home, on the home front. . . how can you personalize this psalm in order to pray for your dear one deployed in harm’s way? Put his or her name where you read “you” or “your”. For example: “Surely He will save (name) from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover (name) with His feathers, and under His wings (name) will find refuge; His faithfulness will be (name’s) shield and rampart.” vs. 3-4

We invite you to take Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and to personalize John 3:16 in declaration that you have believed and trusted in God and His Son, Jesus Christ, “For God so loved (me), that He gave His only Son, that if (I) believe in Him, (I) will never perish but have eternal life.” It is then that you have made the decision to not only dwell in the shelter of the LORD, but to make Him your dwelling place, for all of eternity.

Work Cited:

Chambers, Oswald, The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers (Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers, 2000), p. 646.

Questions to Share:

1. In what ways does Psalm 91 give confidence to today’s Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine, and Coast Guardsman?

2. In what ways does the promise of eternal life with Jesus provide the ultimate peace and protection?

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. – Colossians 4:6

I’ve made a list of things people hate to hear when their spouse is deployed. Perhaps you could add to this list, but these are the statements about which I’ve heard complaints:

“I’m sorry.”
“I know how you feel. I was a single mom.”
“I know how you feel. My husband was away on business last month.”
“I don’t know how you do it!”
“Stay busy—it’ll go quickly.”
“You knew what you were in for when you married into the military.”
“At least he’s not in Afghanistan” or “At least he’s not in Iraq.”
“I watch ‘Army Wives’, so I know what you are going through.”
“At least it’s only six months and not fifteen months, like I went through.”
“At least you don’t have any kids (or have a job or fill in the blank) and have all that extra work.”

Honestly, and I think you would agree, most folks are just trying to “connect” with you. They don’t know what to say, so they feel the need to say something—and it just comes out wrong. We’ve all done it and lived to regret what we’ve said when the tables were turned and we knew better.

So what do we say when we’re wanting to encourage someone whose spouse is far away in service to our country? What would be gracious—not seeking to assume or compare what that person is going through? I’ve “collected” ten ideas from which to choose and modify—and of course will be willing to add more, if you will make suggestions. Here they are:

“Thank you for your service to our country, and to our Lord.”
“How can I pray for you?”
“I admire your courage and sacrifice. You have my deepest respect and appreciation.”
“What can I do to help you in a practical way?”
“The world is a better place because of what your family is doing.”
“You represent what is good in our country.”
“Your children are also serving, and we appreciate that.”
“It is because of your bravery that we are able to live in freedom and security.”
“Thank you for your commitment to bring freedom to nations who desperately need it.”
“Your sacrifice and service is not in vain. We will remember what you did.”

Perhaps you think these responses are “too wordy”, and a sincere “thank you” would warm your heart if your spouse was deployed. But other ExcellentOrPraiseworthy readers might ponder them in order to be prepared for a good response when faced with the opportunity to encourage.

But let’s consider this from the flip-side . . . what do we graciously say to someone after they have said something which could have hurt our feelings? Don’t we want to be mature in our attitudes, understanding that others could not possibly understand what we are going through?

Let me include two wonderful quotes from two military wives whom I admire—to help in this effort. Sara Horn writes in “With a Little Help from My Friends” from Military Spouse magazine (June 2010):

“Civilian was ‘they’ and military was ‘me.’ ‘They’ actually tried equating their husbands’ business trips to my husband’s trip to the sandbox: so not the same thing. I was a military wife. Well, suddenly-military wife would be a more accurate term. Guard and Reserve spouses are suddenly thrown into a military existence when their service members deploy. And suddenly-military wives can be prone to seeing everything through one filter: the ‘My Life Has Changed Forever and No One Has a Clue” filter . . . . But hindsight, they say, is 20/20 . . . . I finally realized I had placed a whole bunch of expectations on them—standards and beliefs that weren’t necessarily fair . . . .” (p. 62)

Another perspective—because we need perspective in handling deployments with grace—is from my all-time favorite military-wife-book Footsteps of the Faithful by Denise McColl when she was a young mother of five, and wife of a submariner. She wrote:

“ ‘I don’t know how you do this with five young children. . .’ people often say. And each time my response can either be a trite and nonchalant, ‘Well, it isn’t all that bad . . .’ or a spiteful ‘I don’t know how I do this either! He’s sure going to make up for this when he gets home!’ Or it could be (and this takes both boldness and humility), ‘Well, I’m only doing this by God’s grace, as Jesus does a good work through me. When I don’t listen to Him and obey, I can say for certain that I don’t do a very good job at this at all . . .’” (p. 137)

The truth is that there is only one who can truly understand what we are going through—one who has experienced all pain and loneliness—Jesus Christ. It is to Him we must run when we have our feelings hurt, when we are overwhelmed, or misunderstood. Running to anyone or anything else . . . . will eventually disappoint, or worse—ruin.

Respected Bible teacher, Jill Briscoe, commented on this foundational truth when her husband, Stuart, was traveling for an extended period of time: “Years ago I stopped looking to anyone but God to satisfy me. There is no man that can love me enough. No child that can need me enough. No job that can pay me enough. And no experience that can satisfy me enough. Only Jesus.”

In conclusion, I like what Oswald Chambers, the author of My Utmost for His Highest, had to say about this subject.  He was a chaplain in World War I, serving in the camps near the front lines in Egypt.  In his writings on Job 8:7-10 he says, “Over and over again during this war men have turned to prayer. . . . The biggest thing you can do for those who are suffering is not to talk platitudes, not to ask questions, but to get into contact with God, and the ‘greater works’ will be done by prayer (see John 14:12-13).  Job’s friends never once prayed for him . . . .”

Pray for each other.  Pray for yourself.  Pray for those who want to help, and say the right thing, but just don’t know how.  Pray to grow close to Jesus.

Work cited:

Chambers, Oswald, The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers (Grand Rapids: Discovery House Publishers, 2000), p. 56.

Horn, Sara, “With a Little Help From My Friends,” Military Spouse, June, 2010, p. 62.

McColl, Denise, Footsteps of the Faithful (Orlando: Campus Crusade for Christ, 1994), p. 137.

Jill Briscoe quoted from Alistair Begg’s Truth for Life broadcast “Contentment or Corruption, Part Two, B”, August 11, 2010.

Questions to Share:

1. What has someone said to you when your spouse was deployed that really encouraged you?  Why was that particularly helpful?

2. How can you best encourage each other as a couple while you are geographically separated during deployment?

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD . . . . — Psalm 33:12

It’s a song, a famous song, but did you know that it really is a prayer? A prayer that we’ve all heard sung at athletic events, on the steps of the U.S. Capitol by our congressmen on September 11^th, at the reopening of the stock market the following Monday, at church services during war and peacetime, at Republican and Democratic national conventions, on radio and television programs, in movies, and at patriotic rallies throughout our country and on foreign shores. Its words burn in our hearts because the lyrics ring true. . . .and the musical score combined with those words bring goose-bumps each time we hear or sing this beautiful prayer.

I am speaking of “God Bless America,” written by Irving Berlin in 1918 and originally performed by the one-and-only Kate Smith in 1938. Irving Berlin wrote it for a camp show while serving in the Army in World War I stationed at Camp Upton on Long Island. The show’s producers decided not to use it in 1918, but twenty years later Berlin offered it as the answer to a request he received for a patriotic song which Kate Smith could sing to commemorate the anniversary of the Armistice ending World War I. It was an immediate sensation with her debut radio performance in 1938. . . . and has been a national favorite ever since.

Irving Berlin, born Israel Baline, was five years old when his family immigrated to the U.S. from Siberia in 1893. He had a great appreciation for his adopted homeland of America—his patriotism was authentic. After his military service in World War I Berlin went on to a successful career, known for composing such hits as “White Christmas,” “There’s No Business Like Show Business,” “Alexander’s Ragtime Band,” and “Cheek to Cheek.” When World War II began, Berlin considered it an honor to compose and perform patriotic songs for military stationed around the world (often close to battle zones). At war’s end, President Truman awarded Berlin the Medal of Merit for his courageous contribution to troop morale.

As you bravely serve our great country this 4^th of July. . . .both at home and deployed, we pause to consider these lyrics, beginning with the original spoken introduction, as a prayer lifted to remind us of our personal and national need for God:

While the storm clouds gather far across the sea
Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free.
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer:

God bless America,
Land that I love.
Stand beside her and guide her
Thru the night with the light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam.
God Bless America, my home sweet home.
God Bless America, my home sweet home.

On this national holiday, thank you for your brave and sacrificial service to our dear country, which we love. Your duty is making an eternal difference in the lives of many, both at home and across the sea. May God bless you. May God bless America.

Work cited:

From en.wikipedia.org: Kate Smith, “God Bless America,” and Irving Berlin.

Larkin Spivey, Battlefields & Blessings: Stories of Faith and Courage from World War II (Chattanooga: God and Country Press, 2009), p. 216.

Questions to Share:

1. Take these lyrics and pray for our nation, especially during these times of war.

2. How has God blessed America? How can you pray for God to continue to bless America?

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. — John 15:13

Time spent with chaplains is precious time. Recently we shared that precious time with a Navy chaplain who gave us a glimpse into his world of responsibility—which includes leading a chapel community, teaching Bible studies, completing administrative and training assignments (to name but a few of a myriad of tasks). . . .and being the notification officer and ministering chaplain to those in a wide circumference around his assigned duty station.

He gave me permission to share a story which he wrote in an article, “Journey of an American hero—Taking Kyle home.” I share it, in reverence, not in detail but in the spirit of this Memorial Day as we honor those who, along with their families and communities, have paid the ultimate price to obtain and secure our freedom.

Chaplain (Commander) Manuel A. Biadog Jr., USN, had the honor of observing and participating as the family and community of Pawtucket, Rhode Island, carried Pfc. Kyle J. Coutu to his final resting place at Exeter Veterans’ Cemetery on February 26, 2010. What I read about Pfc. Coutu in Chaplain Biadog’s account allowed me to picture an all-American boy turned man who served as a Marine with the 3^rd Battalion, 6^th Marine Regiment, 2^nd Marine Division, based out of Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. “Coutu has faithfully lived the highest core values of his Corps (Honor, Courage and commitment); his religious faith; and his country for which he fought and died. It is the trait of bravery and courage that Coutu lived each and every day in the Marine Corps. He never gave up believing in his family, friends, loved ones, fiancé, his fellow Marines and his homeland . . . .Coutu and 10 other Marines were killed in action during a major combat offensive against the Taliban in Helmand province, Afghanistan.”

Chaplain Biadog recounts: “What stands out vividly in my mind more than anything else and moved me to tears was when I saw countless citizens—young and old—military veterans, state and local police, fire-fighters, teenagers, children and many others lining the streets and highways waving large and small American flags. These patriotic Americans waved the flags and welcomed their hero home.”

On this particular Memorial Day, Chaplain Biadog reminds us that “we owe tremendous gratitude to all patriots and military veterans—past and present—who were willing to give their todays, in order that we might have our tomorrows. We will always have a continuing remembrance and deepest thanks of their service, along with their surviving families, for the ultimate sacrifices they have made. It will always cost the lives of the best and brightest people, like Coutu, for the price they paid for freedom and liberty. All gave some, some gave all. Coutu gave his all.”

The article ends with the words spoken by Pfc. Peter Lang, childhood schoolmate, fellow Marine, and best friend of Coutu, who escorted his remains home. Chaplain Biadog tells us: “As a final tribute . . . Lang memorized in his mind and heart the Marine Corps Prayer . . . and solemnly recited: ‘Almighty Father, whose command is over all and whose love never fails, make me aware of thy presence and obedient to thy will. Keep me true to my best self, guarding me against dishonesty in purpose and deed and helping me to live so that I can face my fellow Marines, my loved ones, and thee without shame or fear. Protect my family.

Give me the will to do the work of a Marine and to accept my share of responsibilities with vigor and enthusiasm. Grant me the courage to be proficient in my daily performance. Keep me loyal and faithful to my superiors and to the duties my country and the Marine Corps have entrusted to me. Help me to wear my uniform with dignity, and let it remind me daily of the traditions, which I must uphold.

If I am inclined to doubt, steady my faith; if I am tempted, make me strong to resist; if I should miss the mark, give me courage to try again.

Guide me with the light of truth and grant me wisdom by which I may understand the answer to my prayer. Amen.’”

God helping us, we shall never forget.

Work cited:

Commander Manuel A. Biadog, Jr., “Journey of an American Hero—Taking Kyle Home,” The Globe, Camp Lejeune, N.C., March 18, 2010, p. 10A.

Questions to Share:

1. On Memorial Day is there someone in particular whom you pause to remember? Share that with each other.

2. The words of the Marine Corps prayer are tender and powerful. Repeat that prayer for yourself and your spouse.

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. —James 5:16b

I recently attended a retreat at which the speaker introduced us to teaching on “Praying for Your Husband from Head to Toe.” Being a visual-type person, it intrigued me to think that I could move in thought from my husband’s head down to my husband’s feet and pray for his mind, eyes, ears, nose, mouth, bones, heart, hands, legs and feet. Let me summarize some of this instruction, written up originally as material from Proverbs 31 Ministries (perhaps you have seen other versions of similar writings). . . . and I believe that the same can be used by you husbands to pray for your wife. I have added the “her” and “she” in order to complement the truth contained in this teaching so that married couples can pray for each other, especially during times of geographic separation caused by deployment:

“Praying for his/her mind: Colossians 2:2-3 ‘that he/she will have the rich experience of knowing Christ with real certainty and clear understanding’

Praying for his/her thoughts: 2 Corinthians 10:5 ‘that he/she will take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ’

Praying for his/her eyes: 2 Kings 6:17,1 Corinthians 16:13 ‘that he/she may see life from God’s perspective and be on the alert for spiritual danger’

Praying for his/her nose: 2 Corinthians 2:15 ‘that his/her life will be refreshing to others, and a life-giving perfume’

Praying for his/her mouth: Acts 4:29 ‘that he/she will have great boldness in witnessing for God and that the words of his mouth and the meditation of his heart will be acceptable to God’

Praying for his/her bones: Isaiah 58:11 ‘that he will be healthy like a watered garden’ (I would add Proverbs 3:7-8: “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”)

Praying for his/her heart: James 4:8, Proverbs 3:5 ‘that he/she will be filled with God alone and that God will create in him/her a clean heart filled with pure thoughts and right desires; that he/she will trust God will all his/her heart and not lean on his/her own understanding’

Praying for his/her hands: 1 Timothy 2:8 ‘that he/she will pray with holy hands lifted to God, free from sin, anger, and resentment’

Praying for his/her legs: 2 Corinthians 5:7 ‘that he/she will walk by faith and not by sight’

Praying for his/her feet: Psalm 40:2 ‘that God will keep him/her from discouragement and set his/her feet on a firm path’”

Let me take this thought of praying for your spouse one step further. Do this—visually step through the spiritual armor, from head to toe, found in Ephesians 6 and try to think how you could pray for your spouse as we “put on” each piece of the armor during deployment:

Helmet of Salvation—“Heavenly Father, Thank you for giving salvation because of the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus Christ, on the cross of Calvary. We know that it is His blood which cleanses us from our sin and forgives us so that we may live with You eternally. I pray that my spouse may know You and the joy of Your salvation more and more each day, even while we are apart. May the truth of that never leave their side and provide them perspective to face the demands of the hour.”

Breastplate of Righteousness—“Lord Jesus, It is Your righteousness alone that covers us and protects our hearts from eternal condemnation. May we be ever mindful of the fact that it is not our righteousness, for we have none, but your righteousness alone that assures us of a right relationship with God. Guard our hearts, as a married couple, to be ever drawn to You, not relying on ourselves or the things of this world, but on You and You alone. Provide for us the assurance of Your love and may our commitment to each other reflect our commitment to You as Lord and Savior.”

Belt of Truth—“Dear God, May we put on the belt of truth to gird ourselves with a certain knowledge of Your grace and mercy. Search our hearts and bring us to an understanding of our helplessness without Your presence and power in our lives. May we trust in You alone and seek You only for our needs. While apart from each other may we be mindful of fears and lies which would seek to draw our minds away from our commitment to each other.”

Shield of Faith—“Lord Almighty, It is faith in You and You alone that protects us from those things which seek to destroy us and our marriage—worry, doubt, guilt, discouragement, despair, disbelief. May our faith in You cause us to hold our shield with great confidence against the enemy, being obedient to Your will as the one Who made us and chose us. Please protect my loving spouse from the fiery darts which can be so painful, and keep them strong in faith while we are apart.”

Sword of the Spirit—“Awesome God, Your Word is all I need to fight the battles of this life. May Your promises come to our minds when we face trials which the enemy would use to defeat us. May we seek Your face in prayer and in day-to-day living so that Your Truth, in the person of Jesus Christ, and Your love would give us guidance, wisdom, and victory through a fresh filling of Your Holy Spirit. Thank you for the hope that Your Word gives us when times seem so tough.”

Feet Shod with the Preparation of the Gospel of Peace—“Great Redeemer, Please help us to be ready to share with others the peace that can only come from You. While we are apart, we may have unique opportunities to serve our fellow military members with compassion during their hour of great need. May we, as a couple, be prepared for those opportunities, with sure understanding of the truth of the good news of Jesus Christ and His desire for us to proclaim Your faithfulness to others who may not know You.”

The teaching on the spiritual armor in Ephesians 6 ends with this instruction from verse 18: “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” Pray.

Questions to Share:

1. Take time to pray for your spouse, head to toe.

2. Share with your spouse, if possible, how you have prayed for them.

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. — Psalm 4:8

Sleep—it is a precious commodity. When my children were small I slept with one ear tuned to the pitch of their voices. I would marvel at how my husband could sleep undisturbed through the persistent wails of a newborn and the fevered cries of a toddler.

Years later, when the teenagers drove into the driveway one minute before curfew, I was listening for the crunch of the gravel under the tires. I looked forward to the day when my nightly vigilance would end and I could sleep undisturbed.

Now with my husband overseas the night can be a time when hidden thoughts become amplified. I wake every two hours and unspoken fears tumble out. I am like the ailing man in Psalm 102:7: “I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a housetop.”

As I read through this Psalm I identify with his laments. But even in the midst of his illness and fears the psalmist calls upon the name of the Lord: “Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry for help come to You. Do not hide Your face from me when I am in distress. Turn Your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly.” — Psalm 102:1,2

And so in those lonely dark hours when I miss my husband’s warmth, I pray—prayers for safety and for rest. I pray that he will sleep soundly and carry on his work in difficult situations. And soon I find myself drifting back to sleep and sweeter dreams.

We all have times or situations that make the separation more acute. And we need to sometimes voice how badly we feel. But let’s not stop voicing the rest of the story—and call upon God to hear our cries for help whether in the middle of the night or when the washing machine breaks.

Now when I wake up during those lonely and dark nighttime hours, I have decided to use them as a time for focused prayer with no distractions (which is also a precious commodity). The night can be a time of peace and prayerful supplication . . . and I look forward to the times when I can cuddle next to him asleep and hear the sound of his snoring, even if it keeps me awake!

Questions to Share:

1. What could you pray to God for tonight, if you cannot sleep or are awakened with fears?

2. How could your spouse pray to God for you tonight? Be sure and share that.