If you have a copy of The Love Dare, and turn to Day 32, you will see that it does not say “Love Is Faithful.” It says “Love meets sexual needs.” I think you will agree, of the thirty-one days of The Love Dare challenge we have taken so far, Day 32 is the first and only dare which cannot be accomplished during deployment. Sexual intimacy with your spouse is not possible during deployment, so what can be the focus of today’s dare? There are truths from today’s chapter which need to be repeated, and there are Scriptures concerning sexual purity which we will add to these truths.
Truths about sex in marriage from Day 32 of The Love Dare:
– “ . . . the Bible has a great deal to say about sex and the blessing it can be for both husband and wife.” (p. 156)
– “In Christian marriage, romance is meant to thrive and flourish. After all, it was created by God.” (p. 156)
– “The Song of Solomon, for example, . . . is actually a beautiful love story. It describes sexual acts between a husband and wife in poetic detail, showing how each one responds to the other. It expresses how honesty and understanding in sexual matters lead to a life of confident love together.” (p. 156)
– “In the act of romance, we join our hearts to each other in an expression of love that no other form of communication can match. That’s why ‘the marriage bed is to be undefiled’ (Hebrews 13:4). We are not to share this same experience with anyone else.” (p. 157)
– “All the things the Love Dare entails—patience, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, protection, honor, forgiveness—will play a role in renewing your sexual intimacy. When the love of Christ is the foundation of your marriage, the strength of your friendship and sexual relationship can be enjoyed at a level this world can never know.” (p. 158)
Here is today’s dare during deployment: Express to your spouse, either in writing or speaking, how you miss the romantic part of your marriage—and, because of your love and commitment, you will be faithful.
At the completion of the new HomeBuilders Bible study from Military Ministry and FamilyLife, Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready, there is a commitment ceremony to be accomplished before you deploy. The words to be repeated together with your spouse are: “Believing that God, in His wisdom and providence, has established marriage as a covenant relationship, a sacred and lifelong promise, reflecting our unconditional love for each other . . . and believing that God intends for the marriage covenant to reflect His promise to never leave us nor forsake us . . . We commit our lives to be faithful to each other during the unique challenges of military service and beyond . . .to seek God’s help in order to finish strong, . . . standing firm on the vows that we made on our wedding day, and on the Word of God which gives us the blueprint for this commitment.” (p. 96)
Here are Scriptures to encourage you in truth concerning faithfulness in marriage (understanding that because God created sex to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage He established boundaries around it to protect its purity):
You shall not commit adultery. — Exodus 20:14 (from The Ten Commandments)
But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. — Proverbs 6:32
You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. — Matthew 5:27
It is God’s will that you should be holy; that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.
— 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. — 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Kendrick, Stephen and Alex, The Love Dare (Nashville: B & H Publishing Group, 2008)
Montgomery, Mike and Linda, Morgan, Keith and Sharon, Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready (Little Rock: FamilyLife Publishing, 2008)