Love is patient, love is kind. — I Corinthians 13:4

I’m not sure that communication in marriage comes easily for anyone, but I got some good advice early on which has served me well. If I were to summarize what I learned in one word it would be kindness . . . . during two critical times:

1. “Hello”

The first lesson I got in communication kindness was from one of the few books on marriage available in those early days, Letters to Karen by Charlie Shedd. Written from a loving Dad to his soon-to-be-married daughter, Dr. Shedd tells Karen to be intentional about the “hellos” when her husband came home:

“Do greet him with gladness when he first comes home. One husband made this picturesque statement: ‘She throws the garbage in my face first thing when I open the door.’ Then he went on to explain that she had a knack for saving the worst news of each day and giving him this promptly on his arrival. You will recognize that he was a master with words as he mimicked her patter: ‘Junior broke the neighbor’s bird bath!’ . . . .’That left rear tire on the station wagon is flat again!’ . . . ‘Won’t you please fix my kitchen faucet?’ . . . ‘I understand the Watsons are getting a divorce!’ . . . and so on in woeful detail. These evil tidings are strictly no good for his homecoming. Occasionally there must be exceptions, but every good meeting of minds will lay certain items aside for later consideration  . . . . From what I’ve seen, it’s a good idea to now and then check your words of greeting.” (p. 49,50)

What I learned was that the first few moments we spent back together after a day of work apart were “the most important five minutes of the day.” It set the tone for the evening, and was a way of reminding each other that they were missed, valued, and appreciated and loved! It was so easy to “dump” all of the details of the day on him when he first walked in . . . . and that just isn’t kind.

Recently I heard a talk about this very subject, and the speaker recommended that a suitable greeting for a couple coming back together after time apart (even a short time) was a “twenty-second kiss.” He cited a story of a couple whose relationship was strained but decided to try this one seemingly little gesture to try restoring their once-vibrant romance. The couple was amazed at how simple this one act of kindness in a greeting was at getting them back on track.

Stop . . . . look  . . . . listen . . . . and a nice, long kiss makes for a wonderful greeting, no matter who gets home first and gets to welcome the other. It is a beautiful way to show love to your spouse.

2. “Good-bye”

The second thing I learned that was so helpful in practicing good communication skills was to always make sure that my “good-bye” was a sweet one, followed by “I love you.” Granted it was a psychologist who instructed our squadron wives on this principle (yes, I was that ignorant), but it was true then and true now. Training accidents and enemy actions happen, and you never know what a day is going to bring—so the advice penetrated my heart. If something tragic happened to either one of us while apart I wanted our last words to be kind. I realized this one practice was not just an attempt to assuage guilt, but was a purposeful approach to maintaining peace between us as partners in life. It was smart to make our “good byes” as tender as possible.

We had many “hellos” and “good-byes” during our military days—with plenty of TDYs, deployments, training, exercises, and the Vietnam War. The “good-byes” were always difficult (understatement) . . . and the “hellos” were always glorious. Whether we were parting for a day, a week, a month or a year I always tried to stick by the training I had gotten from that one book and that one wives’ meeting.

And as much as these principles apply to physical greetings and farewells–they also apply to written ones.  Yes, even during deployment communication of email, text, letter–also phone and skype . . . be kind.

I’m not naïve . . . . and life is complicated. But these two simple rules—greet each other with kindness; depart from each other with kindness—are as important as any two rules in marriage you will ever find. I’m glad I found them early.

For when we are kind to each other, we are demonstrating the very character of God:  “You are kind and forgiving, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to You.”  (Psalm 86:5)

Work Cited:

Shedd, Charlie W., Letters to Karen: On Keeping Love in Marriage (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1965)

Questions to Share:

1. Share with your spouse a time when you remember the way they greeted you was especially kind.

2. Share with your spouse a time when you remember the way they said “good-bye” to you was especially kind.

Excellent or Praiseworthy is posted on Monday and Thursday nights.

I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. — Psalm 40:1

My husband and I had the privilege of being stationed at Aviano Air Base in northern Italy beginning the summer of 2008 until tragedy struck our family two years later. Living in Italy felt like a dream come true, and we frequently pinched ourselves at our new lives in the breathtakingly beautiful country. While overseas we formed close-knit bonds with fellow Americans who attended a small military ministry church with us. We had no idea how important those relationships would be during what would become the hardest part of our lives.

In January of 2010, over a long MLK weekend, we took a trip to a famous pottery town with our five year old daughter Selah and our six week old baby Stella. It was our first venture out with the new baby and unknowingly it was to be our last enjoyable adventure in Italy.

The following Tuesday Selah was eager to get back to her kindergarten class. On that particularly cold morning, as I prepared to walk my daughter to her bus stop, I remember in my post-partum exhaustion fumbling with coats, mittens and flashlights. We hurriedly made our way in the dark, my daughter holding a flashlight while I struggled to hold the baby and a blanket I had wrapped over me in place of my coat. As we neared the end of the road and prepared to cross the busy street, I turned my head left and as I turned my head right to see if the road was clear… Selah ran into the road at full speed. In that split second I screamed for her but it was too late, she was hit by a car and her small body flew through the air and landed in the middle of the road.

In utter panic I ran to her and saw that her eyes were blank. Although I didn’t know it at the time, she was already in a coma. I managed somehow in my desperation to first call my husband at work and then my pastor. Thankfully an Italian passerby called for an ambulance and helped redirect traffic. The minutes waiting for the ambulance seemed like hours. I remember vividly looking up and seeing Selah’s school bus slowly veer around her still body, her classmates faces looking down on us. When the ambulance arrived we sat and waited for 30 minutes while the paramedics decided what to do. They were unfriendly and unemotional and gave us no update on how she was. She was finally airlifted to a hospital in Trieste which was two hours north of the base on the Slovenian border.

Once we arrived at the hospital the news was grim. Because of the language barrier the Italian doctors could not give us much information. The only thing they said when we arrived was it was not good and they didn’t know if she would survive. When we saw her the first time she was badly bruised and unrecognizable with tubes coming out of her brain and her collapsed lung. It felt unreal. I kept waiting to wake up from the nightmare.

My pastor made his way to the hospital and sat with us in the trauma waiting room offering words and prayers at the right moments. A kind Italian nurse named Christina took my six week old baby that first day, and fed her and rocked her. My grief was too heavy to nurture her.

We had to ask permission to be allowed to see Selah in the ICU. Often we would only be granted a few minutes at a time. We would sing her favorite songs and pray and hope that somehow she was able to hear us. Some days we couldn’t see her at all. Our friends would camp alongside us outside the door all day crying and praying for hours on end.

Through the long days we clung to God and we felt Him overwhelmingly comfort us even in the smallest ways. Every night after a long day of sitting in the waiting room we would retreat to our hostel and find comfort in The Book of Psalms and David Crowder’s song “All Around Me.” One particular Psalm that brought us immense peace was Psalm 107:20, which says, “He sent out His word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.” I clung to those words even through my unbelief.

Our days were filled with phone calls from home, visits from church family, our pastor, and my husband’s commanders. A week after the accident as I was heading to the hospital for my last visit of the day, I was suddenly overcome by the thought of being alone that night. I desperately wanted someone or something to distract me from the enormous pain I was in. As I stood alone on the stairwell of the hospital, I felt God’s overwhelming presence telling me that I had to cling to Him and that He was the only way to get through.

Prayers poured in for Selah from all over the globe. Many things happened that we might have before overlooked, but in our situation we knew could only be attributed to God. Italian strangers who had presumably heard of our story from American relatives showed up at our door with dinner. Friends and strangers brought us food, diapers, baby formula and changes of clothes. A dear friend from church, Dayna, gave me enormous comfort. Despite the fact that her husband was deployed and she had four kids, she would brave the four hour journey through the winding, snowy streets to see us almost daily. Her encouragement got me through the hardest days when I wanted to lie down and die.

After a couple of weeks at the trauma center Selah was transferred to a children’s hospital in Trieste. It was a good distance away from the hospitality house where we were currently living. My heart broke at the thought of not being able to be near her. Then the very day Selah moved, a room became available at a hostel run by nuns next door to the children’s hospital. One kind nun who spoke no English comforted me over and over with the word “patzienza” meaning patience. I had to have patience, I believe she meant, and God would heal Selah’s brain.

A kind Slovenian utility worker in the hospital who saw me weeping one day walked over and asked in Italian if I was Christian. I said “Yes” and he gave me a candle telling me also that I must have patience. These acts of kindness were so endearing because the Italian nurses and doctors were often cold and spoke very little to us. They never offered us words of comfort about Selah’s condition.  I could write an entire book on the ways in which God comforted us during this time. Even then it wouldn’t be enough because we saw His presence in every minute of every day.

When Selah was taken out of the medically induced coma a few weeks later she was not the same. She could not walk or talk or control her muscles. Her eyes had changed. She was no longer the vibrant little girl who especially loved horses. One day when we had almost lost hope and believed she might be in a vegetative state the rest of her life, we decided to play her favorite song from the movie “Spirit.” As we played it her face lit up and she began to laugh, a sound we hadn’t heard in weeks. It was the first time we had any indication that she was still herself. To this day I get teary eyed listening to that song. My prayer for Selah began to be for restoration.

At the end of February 2010 Selah was medically evacuated to San Antonio and began her long road to recovery. She remained in the hospital until April of 2010 and received outpatient therapy services for a year and half. Selah suffered a traumatic brain injury and now walks with a slight limp. It’s possible she will have life-long memory problems. However, I never dwell on her being different and neither does she. We are too grateful to God to ever feel sorry for where she is. She has no memory of her accident or the months following, but she loves to tell people about her miracle story. She is still just as passionate about horses as she ever was and is able to ride at a therapeutic riding center near our new duty station.

My own healing has been sometimes a daily prayer to find peace and not give in to constant fear that tragedy will strike again. Only by the grace of God was I able to fully forgive myself for letting her slip out of my hand in that split second.

The man who hit Selah was an African immigrant on his way to work one morning. He and I prayed over her body in the street and I’ve never seen him again. When I tell Selah’s story usually people’s first response is, “I hope the person who hit her had to pay.” I’ve often prayed for him and hoped that somehow he knows that she was healed and that we have no anger towards him. I think he has had to pay enough with his memories.

I am beyond thankful for my church and military brothers and sisters who cried and prayed and uplifted my family. As I go through the rest of my life I am comforted knowing that when terrible things happen God will take care of our every need—from our basic needs of feeding us and giving us warm clothes to giving us a place to rest our weary heads. He also sends us loving people to comfort us in our darkest places, and binds up our broken hearts and sorrows. He will be our strength when we feel like giving up, and when we are ready He asks us to share our stories to uplift our brothers and sisters in Christ. “Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story” — Psalm 107:2

Questions to Share:

1.  Would you tell a story of God’s protection and provision in your life to your spouse which perhaps they did not know?

2. Would you share a story of God’s protection and provision in your life with someone who needs that encouragement?

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. — I Thessalonians 5:18

We gathered for Bible study, but our friend’s face was downcast . . . a sure sign that his soul was, too. We knew he was dealing with marital problems, but there was also the pressure of an impending deployment. All of this weighing on his heart, his future—his now.

It’s hard to know what to say sometimes—most of the time, really. So I said something scriptural that I don’t even remember, then added something like “God knows what you are going through and He is with you”. I followed the simple truth with a smile, and then closed with “but you already know that.”

I guess I expected my smile to be returned with his smile—an understanding between us that I was just trying to do my best to help, but failing.

But that’s not what happened. Instead he said with emphasis, “I do already know that. But I need to be reminded. Thank you.” I got the distinct impression that he really meant it.

My turn was the next day. I had gotten discouraged the night before with some details of ministry, and knew that my day was going to be “one of those days” when work would be in the details. Nothing bad, just laborious.

So I was surprised to open my inbox early and find this email awaiting me, from friends time zones away. Totally unexpected . . . totally something I already knew . . . totally something I needed to hear . . . totally something which blessed me by the power of its truth, and timing:

“Dearest Friends,

Because God is with us – Immanuel, we can endure difficult circumstances of life. We can say with confidence that the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? From Psalm 27:1, “¹The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Praise God!

Because God is with us – Immanuel, we can expect direct answers to our prayers. Heb. 4:14-16 says, “¹⁴Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. ¹⁵For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” We can come boldy and blurt out what is in our heart and He will sympathize and identify with us. Praise God!

Because God is with us – Immanuel, we can face the demanding challenges of ministry.

To Moses, God says in Exodus 4:12, ^“12Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.”

To Joshua God spoke…Joshua 1:9 ^“9Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

 To Jeremiah God encouraged … Jeremiah 1:8, “⁸Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD.”

To all shepherds and their sheep God commands us…Mt. 28:19-20, “¹⁹Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:  ²⁰Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Praise God!

Be encouraged with good cheer during the opportunities of ministry God has prepared in advance for you to do. We are ready to join in because God is with us! Praise God!

Love in Christ,

Your Friends in Iowa

Turns out my friends had listened to “Turning Point” with Dr. David Jeremiah on the radio, had taken notes and then crafted them into an email for me. The truth and the timing were exquisite. The truth that God was with me was something I already knew . . . but at that moment I needed to be reminded.

To my friends in Iowa I can say, “Thank You!”

Perhaps you, too, need to be reminded–or can be used of God to remind someone else.  God is with us!

Questions to Share:

1. Is there someone you know who needs to be reminded that God is with them—no matter where they are and no matter their circumstances?  Perhaps it is your spouse during this deployment.  Take the time to remind them.

2. Is there someone you can pray for today, because you know that God is with you and listening?

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.—Romans 12:11,12

She was a lay leader in her unit—deployed for seven months. Before she left we spent time together talking about her hopes for spiritual growth in herself, and her unit, during this time away from home.

So when she returned it was a joy to link up and hear about what she had observed and experienced from her time away—visiting foreign ports, leading the chapel praise team, praying and reading devotions for those who gathered for fellowship and study. But I caught some doubt and discouragement in her voice.

“I’m just not sure if I made any impact at all,” she said. She hadn’t seen any spiritual revival in her unit—and she just didn’t know if the spiritual leadership which she and the other lay leaders offered was of any value to those seeking study and worship.

It’s at times like this that we can encourage one another—because it is the Lord who uses our obedience and faithfulness to do what only He can do. It was easy on my part to thank her (and the other lay leaders) for their faithfulness to serve in this capacity, and to assure her that God would use her service for His glory.

She did admit that others had noticed her joy. In spite of the many tragedies in her young life, others knew her struggles and could see how the Lord was leading her into tremendous recovery and courage. They voiced admiration for her vibrant spirit. When questioned, she could boldly reply, “My joy is from the Lord.” “Maybe that helped someone,” she told me. Indeed it did—no doubt in my mind.

So then I shared with her a story which I heard and read recently. I think we all need to “hear” a story like this from time-to-time . . . because it’s true, and it is how God works:

“His name was David Flood. In 1921, he and his young wife, Svea, left Sweden for the heart of Africa. They were soon joined by another young missionary couple and, together, they decided on a remote village. When they arrived, however, the chief rejected them and would not let them enter his village for fear of displeasing the local gods. The two couples had no choice but to go up a hillside and, on a slope of land, build their own mud huts. They prayed for a spiritual breakthrough, but none came. Their only contact was a young boy, who was allowed to sell chickens and eggs to them twice a week. Svea Flood decided that, if this was the only African villager she could talk to, she would try to lead the boy to Christ. Soon, he did indeed accept the free gift of salvation through faith in Christ’s death alone on the cross. Beyond that, there was no other encouragement.

In the meantime, malaria began to hunt them down. Soon the other couple decided they had had enough and left for another location nearby. David and Svea Flood were alone. In the midst of these trying times, Svea found herself pregnant and, when the time came, the village chief softened just enough to allow a midwife to help her. A little girl, Aina, was born. It was too much for Svea, however, as she was exhausted and weak from malaria. She lived only another seventeen days and died.

Something inside David Flood snapped. He dug a crude grave, buried his twenty-seven year old wife, and took his daughter down the mountain to the mission station. He handed her to the missionaries and snarled, “I’m going back to Sweden. I’ve lost my wife and I obviously can’t take care of a baby. God is not good; He is not faithful; He has, in fact, ruined my life.”

With that, he turned his back on his calling, and on God Himself.

Within eight months, the adoptive parents of Aina died of malaria. She was given to another missionary couple, who brought her to the United States and raised her. Aina, now known as Aggie, grew up in South Dakota. She attended North 7 Central Bible College, in Minneapolis, and married a man, named Dewey Hurst, who entered the ministry.

Years went by. Aggie knew nothing of her past, apart from her parents names, her own birth in Africa, and the death of her mother. She had never seen her father. She enjoyed, with her husband and family, a fruitful ministry. Dewey had become the president of a Bible college in Seattle, Washington.

Then, one day, a Swedish religious magazine appeared in her mailbox. She had no idea who had sent it, and, of course, she could not read the words. But, as she turned the pages, all of a sudden, a photo stopped her cold. There, in a jungle setting, was a grave with a white cross, and on the cross were the words, Svea Flood.

She rushed to the office of a college faculty member who could translate the magazine article. He summarized, “It was about missionaries who had come long ago . . . the birth of a baby . . . the death of the young mother . . . the one little African boy who had been led to Christ . . . how, after the missionaries had left, the boy had grown up and persuaded the chief to let him build a school . . . he won all his students to Christ . . . the children led their parents to Christ . . . the chief, himself, became a Christian . . . today there were six hundred believers in that one village.”

All because of the sacrifice of David and Svea Flood.

For their twenty fifth wedding anniversary, the Bible college gave the Hursts a vacation in Sweden, where, among other things, Aggie could search for her father. It was not difficult to find his family. David Flood had remarried and had four children, but, in bitterness, had slowly wasted away and had only recently suffered a stroke.

After an emotional reunion with her half brothers and sister, Aggie brought up the subject of seeing her father. They replied, “You can talk to him, even though he’s very ill, but you need to know that he’s had one rule in his family, ‘Never mention the name of God, because God is not good, He took everything away from me’.”

Aggie was undeterred. She went in to his room and approached him. He was now seventy-three years old. He turned toward her and, immediately, began to cry, “Aina,” he called her, “Aina, I didn’t mean to give you away.”

“It’s all right, Papa,” she replied, “God took care of me.”

The old man instantly stiffened and the tears stopped. “God? God forgot all of us . . . God forgot us.”

He turned away toward the wall. “Papa, I want to tell you a true story. You didn’t go to Africa in vain. Mama didn’t die in vain. The little boy you won to the Lord grew up to win that whole village to Jesus Christ. Today there are six hundred African people serving the Lord because you followed the call of God in your life. Papa, God had a plan all along . . . He didn’t forget you.”

He turned back from facing the wall, the tears returned, and he began to talk. By the end of that afternoon, the kindness of God had brought him back, not to the repentance that brings salvation, but to the repentance that brings restoration and fellowship.

Aggie and her husband, eventually, had to return to America. A few weeks later, David Flood went home to heaven.

A few years later, Aggie and her husband were attending an evangelism conference in London. A report was given from the nation of Zaire by the superintendent of the national church, representing 110,000 baptized believers. He spoke eloquently about the spread of the gospel in his country. Afterwards, Aggie could not help but go up and ask him if he had ever heard of David and Svea Flood. “Yes, madam,” he replied, “as a little boy, I used to sell chickens and eggs to them twice a week. It was Svea Flood who led me to Christ.”

They embraced for a long time. He then said, “You must come to Africa. Your mother is the most famous person in our church history.”

In time, Aggie did come. She was welcomed by cheering throngs of villagers. Eventually she was taken to her mother’s grave – with that white cross and the words, “Svea Flood,” written there. She knelt in the soil to pray and give thanks to a good and patient and kind God. That national church leader read from scripture, “Those who sow in tears shall reap with songs of joy.”

I pass this along in hopes that if you are wondering if your Christian testimony and witness is making a difference in anyone’s life . . . be encouraged. It is. An eternal difference.

Work cited:

Cymbala, Jim , Fresh Power (Grand Rapids:  Zondervan Publishing House, 2001), p. 115.  This manuscript is from a sermon preached on 8/26/2001 by Stephen Davey. © Copyright 2001 Stephen Davey

Questions to Share:

1. How have you witnessed someone’s Christian walk during deployment? How did that encourage you?

2. How has someone noticed your Christian walk during deployment? How do you hope that has been an encouragement to them?

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love. —I John 4:15,16

“Identity Crisis” is a long devotion—the longest we have posted.  Knowing your ops tempo we were surprised when the numbers came in that it was the most widely read devotion ever, even more than “The Wedding Prayer.”  That speaks to us of the need for spiritual material dealing with growth during deployment, and we are grateful to God.

We were already planning on a follow-up piece using JJ Heller’s “What Love Really Means.”  So we post it tonight with joy and anticipation for how God is going to use it to affirm you in your spiritual walk with Him during this time of war:

Did you hear the ending?   The man cries out from his prison cell, “O Lord, Forgive me!” and in his heart he hears God say to him, “I will love you for you. . . .Not for what you have done or what you will become. . .. I will love you for you! I will give you the love that you never knew!”

Re-read “Identity Crisis” from January 16th and see again how true it is that God loves us—not for what we have done or what we will become—but because He is a God who is a covenant-keeper, perfect provider and protector, forward-looking and forgiving, and Love!  Hallelujah!

Questions to Share:

1. In what ways can you relate to the first three people about whom JJ Heller sings?

2. In what way do you need God’s unconditional love?

“This is what the LORD says—Israel’s King and Redeemer, the LORD Almighty:
I am the first and I am the last; apart from Me there is no God.” — Isaiah 44:6

Because of the rigors of deployment and the struggles of life, have you started asking yourself, “Who am I anymore?”

Perhaps you can call that an “identity crisis”—when you begin to question or contemplate or doubt what makes you important or what makes you worthwhile.

Many people tie their importance or identity to a number of different things: career progression, relationships, checkbook & savings balance, housing, car, what parents or spouse or sibling or supervisor or physical appearance or even the past says about them.

What is the major problem with this list? It leaves out God and what He has to say about who you are.

Let’s make this more personal: There is nothing more freeing, satisfying, pleasing, fulfilling, rewarding or gratifying than living our life, not in light of what other people think or expect or demand, but in living our life in light of what God says, God thinks, and God demands. It is a powerful thing to walk through life with a firm conviction of our identity—as God knows us.

And here is the bottom line: Everything that God says about us (you and me), thinks about us and demands of us is the outcome or tied directly to who He is. In other words, when we understand who God is our identity crisis will be solved and we will be satisfied.

Nowhere is this clearer than in Isaiah 43. God’s chosen people were having an identity crisis—they were unsure of who God was and therefore unsure of themselves. These verses can help us replace unbiblical thoughts about ourselves with biblical truth as we sort through what God had to say (through Isaiah) to the Israelites in the Old Testament, themselves facing a deployment of sorts. Satan, the enemy, knows that if he can create confusion about our identity or worth, then we will go through life not knowing what or whom to live for.

In Isaiah 43, God establishes some simple truths about Himself which help the Israelites through their identity crisis. Indeed the more we know about God the more we can truly know why we were created and what on earth we are here for—so this is a worthy exercise:

1. God is the covenant keeper, therefore I am secure.

From the text of Isaiah 43:1: “But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel, ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!’”

God calls Himself LORD which means “covenant keeper.” Why is that important? A covenant reveals the personal nature of God in terms of His relationship with you and me. A contract can be broken when one of the parties fails to live up to the stipulations in the contract. A covenant is forever. A covenant is based on the enduring nature of God’s commitment to us.

Why is God so committed to us? He created us and He formed us. He also says that He redeemed us—in other words, he bought us back from the bondage of sin. In order for God to establish His covenant with us He had to personally pay the ransom with the death of His Son, Jesus Christ—something we could not do for ourselves.

God also says that He knows us by name. Somehow—before the world was made—God looked into the future and chose to form and create us, chose to set His love upon us and call us by name as a saved believer in Jesus Christ, His Son. Not because of anything special in us or about us—but because of how awesome and great He is. He did it to freely demonstrate His love and grace, though undeserved on our part.

God is the covenant keeper — therefore I am secure.

2. God is the perfect protector and provider, therefore I am strong.

From the text of Isaiah 43:2: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.”

“Water” is a general term and “river” a specific term. “Fire” is a general term and “flame” a specific term. General to specific.

Why is that important? It says to me that God is present not just in the year or in the month or in the day I experience hardship (perhaps related to deployment)—He is present with me in the hour and the minute and in the second of my difficulty.

Why would a loving God who calls us by name allow this kind of hardship? To show us how strong we can be in Him. God lovingly uses hardship and painful circumstances to teach us how badly we need Him.

What does this have to do with our identity? When things are tough, others may say that we might as well quit and give up—or compromise our faith—or tempt us to come to the conclusion that God does not care. But the truth is: God is present with me in my weakness. I have His strength and I become strong in Him. I am not going to go under or go away—I am going to stay in the fight regardless of how hot the flame gets or how high the river becomes.

God is the perfect provider and protector — therefore I am strong in Him.

3. God is love; therefore I am valued by Him.

From the text of Isaiah 43:3,4: “For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I have given Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in your place. Since you are precious in My sight, since you are honored and I love you, I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.”

Isaiah had their years of slavery on their minds—so God references their ancient history. He reminds them that the deliverance from slavery cost the lives of Egyptians. Remember the plagues and the midnight deaths of the firstborn? Remember the Egyptian army drowning at the bottom of the Red Sea? The point is—God says that their freedom came at a cost . . . . the principle of substitutionary atonement. Because of His holiness, God demands that sin be paid for. Because of His love, He allows a substitute. We see this principle throughout Scripture and perfectly in the fact that Jesus, the pure and spotless, righteous and holy One, willingly became our substitute for sin. Because God loves us—we are valued.

And one more point—that value is not based on our performance! Our value is based upon His love for us and not upon our love for Him. So no matter what happens during this war, God’s love is eternal and unconditional.

We are fickle and changing — but God is not.

4. God is forward looking and forgiving, therefore I do not live in the past and the best is yet to come.

From the text of Isaiah 43:18-21: “Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. The beasts of the field will glorify Me, the jackals and the ostriches, because I have given waters in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, to give drink to My chosen people. The people whom I formed for Myself will declare my praise.”

One of the greatest tools of Satan related to our identity is to keep us looking backward and reminding us of all our failures—perhaps even during deployment. And it is a tool that not only he uses, but other people use it as well. While we are to confess our sins of the past, we are not to stay there!

God says in verses 18 and 19 that we are to put the pain and disappointments of past failures behind us and move forward. And that includes forgiving those who have hurt or disappointed us so that we can go forward!

God knows that our identity can be bound up in past mistakes and failures—and therefore we can begin to believe that is how it is always going to be. But remember the context of the Scripture—God’s chosen people had sinned in their disobedience. But God said “Don’t stay there.” The same is true for us today.

It is God’s nature to forgive (Psalm 86:5). Forgiveness was in our Savior’s heart as He died upon the cross (Luke 23:34). God forgives us only because Christ died to pay for our sins (Ephesians 1:7). And God is always ready to forgive us (I John 1:9).

When we understand this we will not be defeated by our past—but we learn from it and move forward.

So, bottom-line, what is our true identity? Fill in the blanks with your own name:
I Corinthians 6:20 God says that _____ has been bought with a price and _____ belongs to Almighty God.
Ephesians 1:5 says _____has been adopted as God’s child.
Colossians 2:13 says _____ has been redeemed and forgiven of all _____’s sins.
Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation to _____ because _____ is in Christ.
Philippians 3:20 says _____ is a citizen of heaven.
Hebrews 4:16 says _____ can find grace and mercy in time of need.
I Corinthians 3:16 says _____ is God’s temple.
Ephesians 2:10 says _____ is God’s workmanship.
Philippians 4:13 says that today, _____ can do all things through Christ who strengthens _____.

Remember – It’s not about us, it’s about Him and who He is!

Questions to Share:

1. If you cannot say with assurance that you are a believer and follower in Jesus Christ— but you want to know more so that your identity is established in Him, go to:
Godlovessoldiers.com
Godlovesmarines.com
Godlovessailors.com
Godlovesairmen.com
Godlovescoastguardsmen.com

2. In what ways have you let others define you? What is the truth as a child of God in Jesus Christ?

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. – I Timothy 4:8

At the beginning of each year we are inundated with advice on how to “get in shape” physically. Most military members and their families stay in good shape–but it still behooves us to pay attention to this advice.  Magazine, newspaper—and online—articles try to motivate us to try something new (again). . . . another fresh start, so to speak. And the New Year offers just that—the opportunity to begin to exercise again in a better way. What is the advice? Are there some spiritual lessons we can learn along with the metaphors of physical training?

1. “Consult your doctor before you start any new diet or exercise program for a check-up.”

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” — Psalm 139:23,24

2. “Drink recommended amounts of water.”

“On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘If a man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within Him.’ By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive.” — John 7:37-39

3. “Eat healthy.”

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” — I Corinthians 10:31

4. “Use portion control.”

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26

5. “Stay active.”

“Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” — Romans 12:11,12

6.  “Get plenty of rest.”

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. . . . For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but He rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” — Exodus 20:8,9,11

7. “Be consistent in your work-outs and diet.”

“Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” — I Corinthians 15:58

8. “Walking is good exercise.”

“And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” — Micah 6:8

9. “Develop a life-time sport.”

“I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.” — Psalm 104:33

10. “Limit fats and sweets in your diet.”

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; renew my life according to your word.” — Psalm 119:37

Holy living. . . .exercising and training in the spiritual disciplines (of prayer, service, worship, study, fasting, fellowship, etc). . . . .growing in spiritual maturity . . . .these phrases speak of the process of sanctification to which we are called as Christians. Far from easy, this spiritual training takes discipline and self-control, but the blessings are eternal. Whether at home or deployed, Scripture is clear that we are to persevere and endure in this life, and God is faithful to reward:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing.” — II Timothy 4:7

Questions to Share:

1. Which of the ten physical training reminders above are you working on this year?

2. Which of the ten spiritual training reminders above are you working on this year?

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ . . . — 2 Corinthians 1:20

Life is messy. People are messed-up. And it doesn’t take too many things to go wrong before we can really feel like we’re in a horrible mess.

That’s because we live in a broken world. As military serving around the world and at home, you know that probably better than anybody. Ever since Adam and Eve and that fateful choice in The Garden (Genesis 3), the relationships between God and man, man and man, and man and this earth have been broken.

But there’s hope, and His name is Jesus.

As we start this new year of 2012, perhaps it’s a good time to examine our brokenness, just as a reminder of how utterly helpless we are and in need of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I’ve been reading a book recently by Ann Voskamp entitled One Thousand Gifts. In Chapter Eight she beautifully summarizes the gift of hope with these words, “There is no joy without trust! I can feel all the sinews releasing, the opening of the heart chambers, the unfurling of a life into one reverberating, exultant yes! . . . Yes in Christ! To the Enfleshed. Yes who said yes to this moment and yes to last year’s illness and yes to the cracks of my childhood and yes to the nail and yes to my name in the book of Life, hear me say YES! . . . Hear me say thank you. Hear me say YES! Watch me live a life of yes . . . In Christ, the answer to the questions of every moment is always Yes. The answer is always YES!” (p. 159)

When I really studied that, and thought about the mess in my own life that Jesus said “Yes!” to, I didn’t have to think too long or too hard. There was all of that in my past . . . and all that my eyes are open to see in my present . . . and I can quickly feel like Paul speaking truthfully in Romans 7:18,20,24: “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. . . Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. . . What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? (italics mine) Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

No more guilt; no more shame . . . only my repentance followed by His forgiveness and peace. His promises continue to be “Yes” with the ultimate promise being eternity in Heaven.

Jesus said “Yes!” to the rescue!

And there’s more, because since He said Yes to the rescue He also said Yes to the redemption!

Over Christmas I read this blog posting from a friend in ministry, Jody Landers, who works tirelessly to creatively help people around the world experience redemption from poverty with The Adventure Project (theadventureproject.org):

“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices.”

We sang this carol/worship song this morning. I’ve probably sung it hundreds of times before. But today, this line almost took my breath away.
The weary world rejoices.
If I had to describe myself right now in one word, it might be “weary.”
If I had to describe the world I’ve seen this year, it might be “weary.”
Something extraordinary has been at work in my own life for the past couple years.
And when I look at this past year, I can see the continued refining.
I am living with a very keen awareness of my own depravity.
A very keen awareness of the depravity of my husband.
The depravity of each of our kids.
We know it.
We need a thrill of hope.
The new found responsibilities at The Adventure Project have caused me to spend hours every single day wrestling with brokenness.
I have traveled and walked in a number of different places all over the world this year.
And every day and in each place. I know. I am keenly aware.
Just like me, they need a thrill of hope.
And with that awareness comes weariness sometimes.
Which makes the miracle of Christmas so profound.
Because I need Jesus.
My family needs Jesus.
The world needs Jesus.
And thank God He came.
Because that means I am only who Jesus says I am.
My family is only who Jesus says we are.
The people around the world are only as Jesus says they are.
Beloved.
Forgiven.
Free.
“For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”
So on that night when Christ was born.
And every day thereafter.
We fall.
Fall on our knees.
A thrill of hope. The weary world rejoices.
Amazing.

Jody writes “Beloved . . . Forgiven . . . Free. . . The weary world rejoices.” Such great words from the heart to remind us that because of God’s gift of Jesus at Christmas, we can know His gifts of rescue and redemption from our broken state and its effects.

As Paul’s writing in Romans 7 takes me directly to Rescue, Romans 8 takes me to Redemption.

No matter how ugly, no matter how confusing, no matter how messy . . . Jesus says Yes. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose . . . What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? . . . Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? . . . No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:28,31,32,35,37).

Yes, Jesus said Yes to redeeming all seemingly bad circumstances; yes to being “for” us; yes to being given by the Father to rescue us—and He continues to give in grace and mercy for the purpose of redemption; yes to loving us unconditionally under every situation; yes to creating victory. For the rescue. . . for the redemption. . . Thank You.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “yes” in Christ. And so through Him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. — 2 Corinthians 1:20

Amen!

Work Cited:

Blog for Jody Landers:  http://jodyrlanders.com/2011/12/a-thrill-of-hope/

Voskamp, Ann,  One Thousand Gifts (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Publishing, 2010), p. 159.

Questions to Share:

1. In what way have you allowed Jesus to rescue you from the past, present. . . and possibly a future hell?
2. Can you recall a bad situation which God redeemed and made into something good?

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” — John 11:25

I have several friends who email me “forwards.”  Perhaps you do, too.  I received this one back a couple years ago–and I like to return to it, this time for 2012.  The ten predictions are from the forwarded email (author unknown). . . . .and the additional comments are from the Word of God, and my heart.

Top 10 Predictions for 2012:

1. “The Bible will still have all the answers.”

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. — 2 Timothy 3:16

2. “Prayer will still be the most powerful thing on Earth.”

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. — James 5:16b

I heard a quote from John Piper recently that went something like this: “if Twitter and Facebook are good for anything they will prove on the Last Day that our prayerlessness was not for lack of time.”

This is very convicting—if we really believe that prayer is powerful, why do we not pray more?

3. “The Holy Spirit will still move.”

. . . For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. — Romans 8:13,14

4. “God will still honor the praises of His people.”

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess His name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. — Hebrews 13:15

5. “There will still be God-anointed preaching.”

Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. — 2 Timothy 4:2

We recently heard an influential chaplain challenge a group of church pastors that the best thing they could do for the military members in their fellowships was to preach the whole truth of God’s word—including the sovereignty of God. If we believe prediction #1, then prediction #5 will follow in answer to prediction #2 and the Spirit’s calling in #3. And we will praise Him (#4) for the way only He can answer prayer.

6. “There will still be singing of praise to God.”

Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises. For God is the King of all the earth; sing to Him a psalm of praise. — Psalm 47:6,7

When I encounter someone struggling in their faith, I typically ask two questions—how is your devotional time with the Lord? and what music are you listening to? There is such power in singing praises to God. It can soothe a tired, frustrated soul in ways that only God can accomplish. When we want to express our love of God, we will include singing in our methods of praise.

7. “God will still pour out blessings upon His people.”

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. — 1 Peter 2:9,10

8. “There will still be room at the Cross.”

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. — John 3:16

9. “Jesus will still love you.”

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation (even deployment) will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. — Romans 8:38,39

10. “Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.”

For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost. — Luke 19:10

Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! — Romans 7:24,25

One word which I believe pictures what Jesus did for us in our sinful state is the word “rescue.” When I see what our military has done in foreign countries to help governments and individuals—it is rescue. When we saw on TV what was happening with helpless folks in Haiti as our military reached out to provide resources and expertise—it was for rescue. Jesus came to earth on a rescue mission to save us from the penalty of our sin. It is because of His rescue that we live—eternally with Him, if we believe. (John 3:16)

This email of the “Top 10 Predictions” ends with a great proclamation of truth: “Isn’t it great to remember who is really in control, and that ‘the Word of the Lord endures forever.’” (1 Peter 1:25)

I’m going to email the person who sent me this “forward” and thank them. . . . . it’s been a great reminder of what really matters—not just in 2012, but always.  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”  — Hebrews 13:8

Questions to Share:

1. Which, if any, of the ten predictions surprised you?  Why?

2. Are there some promises of God which you could add to this list—ways in which God was faithful in 2011 and in which you know He will still be faithful in 2012?

Excellent or Praiseworthy is posted on Monday and Thursday nights.

To the LORD I cry aloud, and He answers me . . . I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me.  I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side. — Psalm 3:4-6

Few things are so joyfully disarming as a baby trying out her first glottal stops under the Christmas tree. On picking her up to bury my face in baby fat, she broadcasts a wide, toothless grin. Sometimes she smiles so hard, it looks like it hurts. Her smiles proliferate, it seems, the better we get to know each other, the less we have to guess at what comes next. More often than not, we look forward to bedtimes and to waking, to baths and sweet potatoes and grass and crawling…there is much to look forward to, and plenty to grin about.

At other times, she looks at me quizzically, one eyebrow cocked, both eyes wide. She seems to be wondering if I know what I’m doing, or if this is some kind of rookie parent mistake. It is the same face, I think, that I make when sizing up a new commander or boss: she is both impressed and wary, and she’d love to chat about all her thoughts on how we could improve our organization! The trouble is that she only has about four phonemes currently at her disposal.

It has been said that the reason we don’t remember our first months of life is that they can be traumatic–our sojourn in a strange, new world begins almost before we are ready. With only a range of cries, flails, reflexes and stares, we are left to communicate with often inexperienced interpreters. It is the beginning of an arc that can take us to an eerily similar end-of-life experience. Like the ancient riddle of the sphinx suggests, we are strange creatures who go from four legs to two and then three. Whether we go out with a bang like St. Peter, or we quietly fade from disease into shadows of our former selves, Jesus’ words to Peter describe the phenomenon so well: “…I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” (John 21:18, NIV)

So much of a baby’s life mirrors this feeling of helplessness, even as we watch her strive and gain her autonomy by increments every day. How strange to reflect, gazing at a baby, on the end of her life…even stranger to imagine all the ways that adult life can still script and array our waking hours to lead us where we do not want to go. For me, more precisely, that means being led away from where I most want to be: I recently learned that a deployment to Afghanistan is on the horizon.

Predictably, any eagerness to put professional training to good use is muted by my anxiety about long-distance motherhood. What will I miss, while she is tripling her vocabulary every day, and I am searching for succinct and diplomatic ways to render difficult news…while she is learning to dress herself and I am donning the same uniform every day? It is impossible to know how we will both feel about the experience afterward, but during this anticipation, I watch her a lot for clues. She is, after all, the person I’ve most recently watched undergo a transformation, and I wonder what secrets of bravery and contentment I can learn from her that might help carry me through this separation.

My best thought so far is expressed in Psalm 3: “To the Lord I cry aloud, and He answers me…I lie down and sleep, I wake again because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands on every side.” (verses 4-6, NIV) Because I know too many combat veterans, new parents, and babies alike who cannot sleep through the night, this verse has become my special prayer. Beyond my obsession with getting enough good sleep, this verse is a picture of secure attachment between child and caregiver, God and God’s children.

Rarely anymore do we hear our daughter sound the panic alarm, as she has expanded her repertoire to include monosyllabic chants, moans, and whinings that tell us she is trying to soothe herself as she drops off to sleep. Once in a while, she can still sound the sorrowful note we first learned to swiftly comfort–the one that sounds like she has surely been abandoned to starvation and the elements. It is horrific to hear, and it is a pleasure to alleviate her fears with our presence. In a very real sense, we sustain her between waking and sleeping, and in doing so mirror all the duties of our Divine parent. It is easier to feel oneself washed, wrapped, fed, and warmed by the Creator when you see a baby’s panicked or peeved face give way to pure contentment.

So much of our daughter’s infant angst seems to stem from being so alert–she has always been just aware enough of her surroundings to be very concerned, unable to filter out what is easily overwhelming. A combination of swaddling, shushing, rocking, and sucking would interrupt her panic enough to help her withdraw into a private, restful place where she could tune out what was bothersome. As I consider this new irritant in my environment–the prospect of a long separation from my daughter and husband for the first time–I am reminded that this month’s happy crawler under the tree has never really started from scratch as she adapts to her world. She always falls back on the raw materials and parameters given to her: the limits of a room, the waking hours in a day, the genetic makeup she inherited, the now-familiar responses she can trust from her parents and other caregivers

She also is a breathtaking example of cognitive development, situating new knowledge in meaningful ways within the context of what she already knows. When she acquired her first xylophone mallet earlier this week, it went first (predictably) into her mouth, under the acute visual scrutiny of one raised eyebrow, and then finally into repeated contact with the colored keys to replicate the sounds she’d seen her dad make. I am taking a page out of her book: like a securely attached infant, I am deciding to tackle this new problem as I have tackled others in the past–with hope, with prayer, and in the context of community (editor’s highlight). Like a late-night diaper change or a protested snot-clearing operation, it will certainly get worse before it gets better, but God is responsive, loving, and knows what to do. This week I will rest in that, and be glad that most deployments are down to nine months nowadays. Happily, I have living, low-crawling proof that I can do just about anything for nine months.

Questions to Share:

1. How can you encourage a young military mom who is facing deployment?

2. How can you encourage the family of a young military mom who is facing deployment?