I think I’m like a lot of military professionals in that I pride myself in being able to make a good plan. After all, I’ve had over 20 years of training and practice in making plan after plan and having them tested, refined, tested again, criticized, tested again, refined and the final test of all, executed. We in the military should be good at making plans, and not just one plan either. We have Plan A, Plan B and Plan C, each of which have branches (contingency plans) and sequels (follow on plans) – all designed to ensure that when we set out to achieve our mission, our execution is robust and effective. The success of our plans in achieving a mission is where the rubber hits the road in the military. It can accelerate or decelerate our careers. It can lead to honor or to shame. Plans are pretty important, and I haven’t restricted my planning only to what I do in the military.

As a little girl when I spoke of my father as being “at sea,” I really had no notion of the dangers he faced—he had helped teach my sisters and me how to swim, and for all I knew that’s what they did out “at sea,” diving off the deck and swimming with dolphins. The water, as I knew it then, was all glee and shimmer and launching off of his shoulders in the deep end. It was not until later that I began to appreciate the grisly possibilities associated with his seafaring deployments.

I pay attention when I run across stories about platonic friendships which turn into inappropriate relationships. It’s so common  . . . especially in these days of deployments. Loneliness can become the excuse for “hanging out” with someone of the opposite sex you thought was “safe.” Stressful marital situations can become the excuse for asking a fellow worker of the opposite sex an innocent question like “I’m going through a tough time in my marriage—help me understand my spouse better.” Uncertainty about your future can become the excuse for throwing caution to the wind with an attitude of “What the heck—all I’ve got is today and no one has to know.” But it’s the timing of it all, and what might cause us to turn our back on a flirtation at a less stressful point might lead to the desire for more at another point.