A woman in our military unit had been corresponding with her old boyfriend for months, unbeknownst to her husband (but shared with the other wives), emailing and instant messaging late into the night. She was convinced she would be happier if she filed for divorce, hoped for the best for her children, and returned to the arms of the one she did not marry. While the geographical distance prevented her from having a physical relationship with this man, she was clearly in an emotional affair.

Do you know what “waiting on the Lord” looks like to me? For our first family trip since my husband returned from his second deployment to Iraq, we decided to visit a friend in Colorado Springs. This was to be an important visit—a tender one—as this friend’s husband had been killed during that first deployment. But it is a long drive from central Texas to Colorado Springs, and attitude means everything.

As a member of the military I have realized that I need to be more careful than most with my words. I am vulnerable to bringing home damaging words and phrases, even tones of voice that seem normal at work, but at home are disastrous. Part of my readiness to deploy includes my need to be sure my family knows how much I love and value them. So it is best if I don’t say anything that I later need to correct in case I have to leave at short notice. I know the responsibility of leadership and I want my wife and children to live vibrant lives and not be crushed.