We know a lot about respect in the military. We give each other honor out of respect for things military personnel do, rank that is held, and courage and leadership we see displayed. We wear medals that our superiors bestow on us to honor our contribution. We know about honor and respect and we like it when we get it. Why then is it sometimes so hard for us to apply this knowledge at home?
When I see an article on marriage, I automatically think “what does this say to a military marriage?” Ministry to military has wired me this way—thankfully. So when I read the article on FamilyLife.com entitled “5 Biggest Little Ways to Improve Your Marriage” I naturally went to “what does this say to a military marriage?”
In the last pages of "What Did You Expect??" Paul David Tripp summarizes his writing with this: “What has this book been about? It has been a detailed description of the daily work of love that must be done with commitment and joy when a flawed person is married to a flawed person and they are living in a fallen world." Did you catch that—“Daily work ..." So how do you do that under the challenge of deployment?
I love the story of the two men on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24, as Jesus walks beside them and talks to them in the days after His resurrection but before His ascension. His presence was so real, but at first they did not know who He was. Jesus asks them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”
So here’s the question: What would it look like if a Christian couple chose to face military life as an opportunity to exhibit and demonstrate Christ-likeness under all circumstances. . . even deployment? What would it look like if they faced the challenges of “constant schedule changes, the times of transition, the long periods of waiting, (for orders, housing, homecomings, etc.) the many uncertainties concerning deployments, the long periods of single-parenting, the long ‘silent’ periods during separations, the months spent ‘camping out’ at each new location, the adjustments of each family member at new homes, schools, and working environments” (Footsteps of the Faithful, p. 11) totally relying on God to meet their needs, strengthen and comfort them, in order to be able to finish strong? It would look like the McColl family, as shared in the book Footsteps of the Faithful, subtitled “Victorious Living and The Military Life.”
I suppose it’s not very “military” to describe a young Army couple as adorable, but they were. Their wedding date was a month away, and our pastor invited my husband and I to share tips for a successful military marriage. No pressure!
Early in my military career I worked in a vehicle workshop. When a vehicle was involved in an accident on operations or during an exercise, there was only one level of repair we offered – combat repair. If the vehicle’s body was damaged we would hit the damaged parts with a sledge hammer until they either fell off altogether or were out of the way of the wheels so we could drive the vehicle away. Once a damaged vehicle was back in a standing workshop, then we moved from combat repair to restoration. A skilled trades-person would rebuild, re-mold and replace panels until the vehicle looked new. In some cases the restoration was nothing short of amazing. Sometimes we settle for combat repairs in our life when what we really need is restoration…
Forgiveness is such a counter-intuitive response to someone who does something wrong to us.It really doesn’t make any obvious sense to let people who offend us get away with it. What does seem to make sense is harboring our offense, letting it grow into bitterness and then releasing it as revenge.Many of us imagine Hollywood-like revenge scenarios. In our imaginings we are calm and cool and deliver a long, moving and convincing speech to someone who is undeniably a villain.We see a look of recognition in their eyes as they fall to our stinging, yet completely justifiable blows. They realize that we are completely right and that they are getting their just desserts . . . with extra syrup. Oh how Satan has us fooled!
My husband returned four months ago from a year-long deployment to Afghanistan. This was our first deployment, and we were stationed in the United Kingdom when he was given the orders. We quickly had to decide whether I would stay in the UK or return to the States to be closer to family while he was gone. My husband thought I would be happier being close to family, but I felt the Lord telling me to trust Him and stay in the UK, even if it meant I was going to be alone. This was a hard decision because I felt I was staring my biggest fear right in the face—I was going to be left alone in a foreign country while my husband went to war. Scary!
Covenant. Commitment. These are words we share in the Christian church, and in the Christian marriage. And sometimes, as a time of remembrance and renewal, couples will recite their wedding vows again to each other . . . as a sign that “what was true then is still true now.” Perhaps even more so.