Training

“Teach children how they should live and they will remember it all their life.”

— Proverbs 22:6

Some versions of the Bible use the phrase ‘Train up your child’. We know well the value of training in the military—and we can apply lessons from that knowledge in the training of our children.

We spend billions on training in the military. We drill and drill our new recruits to bring them to high levels of professionalism which help them to do their jobs well. We train before conflict, during conflict and after conflict to insure that we never lose our edge and are always able to respond well to situations. The reality is that during our military careers we will spend the majority of our time training and preparing to do our jobs, and most of us will conduct training for others at some time or other. How is it, then, that many of us don’t apply a similar level of urgency and effort to training our own children?

In the military, we decide what we want to achieve—it may be a goal that is years away—then we design training to cover all aspects of the capabilities that we require. Next we start training people to do the jobs we need them to do. We also adapt our training to different levels of individual capability – basic training for recruits, advanced training for those who have been serving for a long time.

How do you want your children to live their lives? What legacy do you want to pass on through them? If you want them to honor God, train them to honor God. If you want them to be respected, teach them to be humble and considerate. If you want them to provide for their families, teach them to manage their money wisely. If you want them to solve problems instead of running away when life gets hard, train them to be patient, wise and compassionate. If you want them to have strong marriages, model one for them and tell them how you make it strong. Modify your training as they get older so they can grow in character and abilities. If you want them to just muddle through (lost and stumbling, controlled by their fear and sin, a danger to themselves and others), then do nothing because failure comes naturally.

Training requires clear goals, well-communicated standards and boundaries, good one-on-one mentoring and an allowance to make mistakes along the way. Pretty much like recruit training, only your children have to know that you love them throughout! With mercy and grace as the demonstrations of this unconditional love, we can understand the warning in Ephesians, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph 6:4). The Lord’s training of us is the model of righteousness that we want to pass on to our children.

Disciplined troops come from much training. Far from being easy, routine, or automatic—training is tough. So is good parenting. The rewards of good military training are life-saving. So are the rewards of good parenting. Consider these two verses in terms of our own spiritual training and that which we want to pass on to our children:

“Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:10-11)

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” (1Tim. 4:8)

Ask God to give you wisdom, patience and compassion as you train your children. If you don’t know where to start, lead them through the remainder of the 31 chapters of Proverbs.

Questions to Share:

1. Can you see where your military training has been life-saving? Was the training easy?

2. Can you think of ways that you can help train your children in spiritual disciplines?