“Spiritual Glue”

“Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” — Matthew 19:4-6

From the introduction of this website on September 11, 2007, it has been our desire that Excellent or Praiseworthy be a means for a couple to stay connected spiritually during a deployment. Twice a week (Monday and Thursday nights) we post a new devotional, in hopes that the days between become opportunities for a couple to read and then discuss the “questions to share.” Obviously, the demands of duty assignments (and that includes the home) require much flexibility, but the intention is to communicate about subjects deeper than just a surface-level sharing of facts. Sharing information is easier than sharing feelings, but emotional intimacy can only be gained in a marriage if spouses are willing to be vulnerable and transparent when sharing what they experience during their time apart.

We believe that a commitment to marriage is a commitment to communication. Couples who can communicate what they think and feel without becoming defensive or feeling threatened by rejection are couples who can weather a tough situation together. Whether by phone, letter, email, webcam, or instant messaging, a couple needs to be creative and intentional—and willing to share at the heart level—in order to finish the deployment strong.

So how is it this online devotional working? We were very grateful to receive this email message from an Army wife:

“One of the challenges my husband and I faced this past year was remaining spiritually connected when separated by miles. Once I came across the ‘Excellent or Praiseworthy’ card the military ministry leader at church had given me and got on the website, we wanted to use the ‘EorP’ devotional as a springboard to spiritual conversations, with both of us reading it prior to our phone calls. My husband and I jumped on that bandwagon late in his deployment, but I would love to equip the families who are facing pending deployments with that tool. It is a very effective ‘spiritual glue’ for separated couples.”

Wow—spiritual glue! What a great word-picture! This military husband was stationed in Iraq with a MiTT (Military Transition Team) training Iraqi soldiers. His wife was going to school, working, and holding down the home front. And yet they were able to make communication a priority in their marriage so they could stay connected during this lengthy deployment. Other couples may read a book “together”, or read a One-Year Bible “together”, or do a Bible study “together”, or also pray “together” during their time apart. The hope is that by discussing things at the heart-level. . . .how they think and feel about things. . . .they are building oneness in their love relationship.

But really, Who holds a relationship together? Who is the real “spiritual glue” that bonds a husband and a wife? One of the greatest declarations of the truth of the power of Jesus Christ was penned by Paul in Colossians 1:15-20:

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through His blood, shed on the cross.”

It is Jesus Christ who holds us together, as an individual or a couple. He sustains us; He strengthens us; He protects and shelters us. . . . .He loves us. Praise God, He loves us! Paul writes in Romans 8:35-39:

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?. . . No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation (even deployments), will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Hallelujah!

J. I. Packer, in Knowing God, says, “The love Paul speaks of is love that saves, and the New Testament will not allow anyone to suppose that this divine love embraces him unless he has come as a sinner to Jesus and has learned to say to Jesus with Thomas, ‘My Lord and my God!’. . .For it is the privilege of all Christians to know for certain that God loves us immutably, and that nothing can at any time part us from that love or come between us and the final enjoyment of its fruits. This is what Paul is proclaiming in the triumphant declaration of (Romans) verses 38-39, in which the very heartbeat of Christian assurance is heard.” p. 275

Has God joined you together as husband and wife? Has God in faith joined you to His Son? Then nothing can separate you—you are stuck together like glue, spiritual glue! Oneness in marriage begins with oneness in Christ. . . and ultimately with the oneness Christ has with His Father. (John 10:30) That is an excellent thought. . . .a praiseworthy thought—and we will do well to let our minds dwell on that. For in it we will be held together, in peace.

J.I.Packer, Knowing God. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1973.

Questions to Share:

1. Have you and your spouse considered ways in which to intentionally grow “together” while deployed by communicating at the heart level? What are they?

2. What are some deep “conversations” you have had recently, and how have they made you feel closer?