Combat U-Turns

“You do not want sacrifices, or I would offer them; You are not pleased with burnt offerings.   My sacrifice is a humble spirit, O God; You will not reject a humble and repentant heart.” — Psalm 51:16-17

We had some old M113 Armored Personnel Carriers when we first went to Bosnia. This was a problem because of the narrow streets and roads. There would be times when the drivers would need to turn around quickly and without leaving the road. Going off the road risked hitting the many mines in the country. The old carriers turned by braking one track while driving the other one. This caused the carrier to pivot around the stationary track, giving it a very wide turning circle. We had to modify these vehicles with what were called “pivot stairs” that allowed you to drive one track forward and the other in reverse at the same time. This allowed the carrier to do a combat U-turn, that is, spin on the spot and pivot on the center of the vehicle. Then, if you ran into an ambush or road block or other trouble, you could do a U-turn in a narrow street or road and get back to safety as fast as possible! This may be a little hard to follow if you’ve never seen an M113, but the key lesson is that in order to be able to successfully do rapid U-turns when you’re in a tight corner, you need to do some preparation.

For much of my life I did what a lot of people do when they do something they know is wrong – I tried to do something else to make up for it. If I messed up I might go to church with less grumbling, help a neighbor, go out of my way to do something nice or pray some more. In a sense I was trying to trade my failure for something else. The Israelites had a process of sacrifice to do just that – they traded the blood of an animal for their own blood in order to make up for what they had done wrong. This is what King David was talking about in Psalm 51:16-17.

David had committed a few extremely serious offenses. First, he saw a beautiful married woman and committed adultery with her. Then when he found out she had become pregnant by him, David tried to bring her husband home from the battlefield and trick him into thinking the baby was his. When the husband eluded David’s cunning plan, David ordered that the husband be put in the worst part of the battle so that he would be killed. This murder would cover up his adultery, he believed. On the human scale of bad things to do, this was a very (10) bad thing to do. What is very interesting, however, is that David later did a very successful U-turn that avoided the full weight of God’s judgment. Given my own flaws and the number of times I mess things up, I have taken a personal interest in how David changed from trying to cover up and actually did a U-turn to repentance.

In the early days of my marriage I found it particularly hard to do a U-turn. I would get myself into trouble, normally by saying something offensive. Then, rather than following David’s example, I would try to present some sacrifices – do some extra house work, say nice things, pretend nothing was wrong, and other similar things. It was as if I thought that if I stabbed someone in the leg I could bandage their arm to help.  What I needed to do, I learned, was to deal with the wrong I had done by humbling myself, saying I was sorry and then asking for forgiveness.

This is what David also experienced. He realized that while it was God who had first told the Israelites to sacrifice animals to cover their sins, He meant for them to do it with a humble and repentant heart. The King James Version of the Bible describes it as “a broken spirit” – that’s about as humble as you get. A sacrifice without humility or true remorse was actually insulting, making the situation much worse. That’s why David went straight to God’s heart and offered his “broken spirit” instead of a burnt offering. This principle works well with people, too.

I think sinful nature (my prideful “flesh”) tells me to either cover up my wrong-doing with other seemingly helpful activities or to hide from it altogether.  This “flesh” tells me that I am not to apologize at all. The problem is that this does not allow me to get out of trouble. Instead, it makes the situation worse. I have learned that it is a much better idea to reject my pride and humbly do as rapid a U-turn as possible.

This is easy to say, but hard to do if we are in the habit of not humbling ourselves before God and before others. So we need to do some preparation. We need to decide ahead of time to choose a broken spirit instead of “sacrifices” and we need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us follow-through on this decision. That’s what David did and I am trying to follow his example. When I get it right, both my marriage and my relationship with God prosper.

I would also like to add some humble advice for the offended person. It is easier to achieve a combat U-turn if you’re not actually getting shot at. I know that if your spouse is the kind of person (like I was) who tries to avoid humble apologies, you might be tempted to exploit any signs of humility by pointing out how much you were wronged. I know that for me, and I’m guessing this is the same for a lot of people, if I’m attacked while trying to apologize, it greatly reduces my desire to make apologies a habit. If you happen to be someone who tends to want to dig the knife in further when someone is trying to be humble, try hugging them instead – it says that you agree with them and love them anyway. And if you’re not saying anything, you can’t say anything that would cause your spouse to regret being humble!

David got it badly wrong, but his broken spirit saved him from total disaster. I hope I remember David’s example whenever I need to do a combat U-turn!

Questions to Share:

1. What trouble have you gotten into that you did not get out of successfully? Why did things get worse?

2. On a scale of 1-10 (1 is offering a broken spirit and 10 is offering anything but a broken spirit) what is your average offering when you do something wrong? What does your spouse think?

3.  If this is a problem area for you, ask the Holy Spirit to help you be humble when you get something wrong. Then offer a broken spirit when the Holy Spirit prompts you to do so.