“Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim You, who walk in the light of Your presence, O LORD.They rejoice in Your name all day long; they exult in Your righteousness.” —Psalm 89:15, 16
What do you do when you find out that your friends are getting a divorce—friends who had been your role models early in your marriage? There are typically two reactions to such devastating news.It can either cause you to lose confidence, or inspire you to redouble your efforts at strengthening your own marriage.That’s the story we find in this month’s The Family Room, FamilyLife’s online ezine.
“My Story: No Borders for HomeBuilders” follows the intentional steps Gary and Tessie Moore, an Air Force couple currently stationed in Korea, took to grow in their relationship after they were hit with the news of the break-up of their friends’ marriage. Gary and Tessie’s desire was not only for their own growth in such areas as communication and conflict resolution, but also to learn how to help other couples strengthen their marriages.They knew that their commitment to each other was a precious blessing from God—not to be taken for granted. In seeking to honor the Lord in their family, He was going to give them the opportunity to impact others for Christ in their homes.
They took the first step in June of 2006 when they attended the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage conference in Tucson, Arizona, where Gary was in training. It was at that two-day event (go to Weekend To Remember.com for conferences near you) that Gary and Tessie were introduced to the HomeBuilders series of small group Bible studies, and the military-specific 4-week study, Defending the Military Marriage (DMM).Tessie writes: “Wanting to help protect our own marriage while helping other couples, we decided to begin a HomeBuilders group on our military base.When we made that decision we had no idea how God would work through us to touch couples around the world.”Imagine their excitement when seven couples joined them in their very first attempt at leading Defending the Military Marriage!
Once they arrived in Korea in October of 2006, the Moores were able to “plug in” to an existing network of HomeBuilders groups and contribute to the impact that these Christian couples were having in their community.Thousands of miles away from home, the friendships that are formed in these groups help families face the demands of military life overseas.And Tessie adds, “We were thankful to not only be able to talk about Christianity in a non-threatening environment, but also to be a part of God’s work in each of those marriages.We saw couples begin to share openly because they cared for their own marriages, and also for the other marriages in the group.We noticed that each couple seemed to grow closer to their spouses and that they developed ongoing friendships with other couples in the group.We are also grateful that HomeBuilders has helped us be proactive in our own marriage. . . . We now have an atmosphere in our marriage where we are comfortable sharing our frustrations, remembering that God should be our focus.”
Many of the couples from their HomeBuilders groups in Korea have gone on to assignments in Japan, Italy, and bases back in the United States. Soon the Moore family will be moving to Germany. Gary and Tessie have seen the faithfulness of God to create a movement, using small group Bible studies, where married couples can learn of God’s plan for marriage and the spiritual foundation on which a Christian home is intended to be built. The courage it took for them to step out in faith to attend a marriage conference in Tucson—start a Bible study—join a HomeBuilders group on a distant continent—and join with couples who are investing in their marriages and encouraging others no matter where they PCS—is God-honoring.“As we’ve gone through HomeBuilders studies with those in the military, we’ve discovered that we are not only protecting our country together, but we are also protecting our marriages.”
Marriage is not easy—it takes work under the best of circumstances. Knowing that you are not alone in the struggles of life, and encouraging each other while you go through tough times is often what it takes to get through. Being able to point others to the source of your faith and strength is a gift and a blessing, to yourselves and to those who need to know Christ as Lord and Savior.
If you are inspired to learn more about how to strengthen, guard, and protect your marriage, a good place to start is in prayer. Pray for God to lead you to good resources, to positive influences, and most importantly to a relationship with Jesus Christ. Spend time in His word, the Bible. It has much to say about marriage and how we are to treat each other.Explore this Excellent or Praiseworthy website for devotionals which speak to the issues with which you are dealing. Take steps . . . . be intentional. God will bless you for it! And while He blesses you, pray that He will use you to be a blessing in others’ lives as well.
Questions to Share:
1.If you have been blessed in your marriage relationship, what steps can you take to bless others?
2.If you are struggling in your marriage, what steps can you to take to strengthen your relationship?
We look forward to what the Lord is going to do with these online opportunities to use the principles of The Love Dare and practice unconditional love for your spouse. Whether deployed or at home, whether you have seen the movie “Fireproof” or not, whether you have a copy of the book or not, there will be something in this exercise which will challenge you to love like you mean it. Please, take the dare. It will be worth it!
It was her favorite Christmas present, she said. Perhaps it was his, too, but he was still recovering from long months at sea and was needing to catch up on sleep. As they stood before us they still had that “newlywed glow” about them, even though most of their wedded life had been spent apart due to military duty. So when they were telling us about their first Christmas together there were smiles going back and forth between each other, and eyes sparkling with the chance to tell what was so very special about their first time of giving and receiving gifts as husband and wife.
How are you doing this Christmas? Is your heart overflowing with thankfulness. . . .or are you overwhelmed by circumstances and deployment, disappointed with people (or yourself), too tired to celebrate? The days are full. . . . and if you’re like me you are yearning for a chance to just “be still” and spend time with the Lord. After all, this holiday is all about Him—the One who came to seek and save, to rescue and redeem, to bring inner and eternal peace to those who know Him.
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