Peace Support Operations

 “Try to be at peace with everyone, and try to live a holy life, because no one will see the Lord without it.   Guard against turning back from the grace of God.   Let no one become like a bitter plant that grows up and causes many troubles with its poison.” — Hebrews 12:14-15 

The terminology keeps changing, but I think that we are still using Peace Support Operations to describe the deployments we are involved in. We used to talk about Peace Keeping until we realized that sometimes we need to make the peace, so Peace Making and Peace Keeping were combined into Peace Support Operations.  Supporting peace is an honorable military function… and the good thing is that we can practice it at home!

Trying to be at peace with everyone is a big call. I know I have to take many deep breaths when dealing with others because my natural response to confrontation is to fight to win. That would be called War Making. This verse has been popping into my head (the Holy Spirit ‘pops’ it) lately when I have been tempted to make war instead of peace… and I am starting to get it right, but it is a struggle. I’m pleased that the writer of Hebrews said that we must “try”, because if I had to always succeed I would be in trouble.

The writer also links peace support to trying to live a holy life, “because no one will see the Lord without it.”  The writer isn’t trying to scare us here – he has spent the earlier part of the letter to the Hebrews (see Hebrews 10) explaining that it is Jesus who makes us holy once and for all when we accept Him as our Savior. The writer is saying that while Jesus makes us acceptable to God (holy), our thoughts and actions may still need work while we are in these flawed bodies and we should try to live our lives with as much holiness as we can.

The New King James version translates verse 15 as “looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this many become defiled”.   The writer tells us that pursuing peace and holiness includes keeping a watch that no bitterness should take hold, because from it many people will get hurt or spread the bitterness – many will become defiled. Bitterness is a terrible cancer that takes hold and is very difficult to shift.   Bitterness is one of Satan’s favorite weapons because it is self-seeding and spreads easily from one person to another. Bitterness damages whole nations, fuels wars and it also damages marriages and families, sometimes destroying them altogether.

I have seen bitterness many times and it is not pretty. It is where someone feels that they are owed something and set out to extract it without caring about those they affect. In doing so, they inevitably cause offense or hurt that makes others believe they are owed something and those people set out to make things “fair,” and on it goes – many will become defiled. If you forget to pursue peace with everyone and allow bitterness to take root in your home, it is your spouse and your children who will become defiled. The destruction caused by bitterness can sneak up on us – that’s why the writer of Hebrews uses words like “guard” and “looking carefully.”

We need to be peace makers and peace keepers in our homes. When we come to a decision point where we can choose to use insult or encouragement, strive for encouragement. Give others the benefit of the doubt—we are not enemies. When we see our children fight, teach them to communicate with each other under control and with respect. Don’t let them get away with uncontrolled outbursts – these invite retribution. Target actions and not people – use “I didn’t like that” and not “I don’t like you.” Outlaw words that cause conflict, like “stupid” and “hate” and “you always” and “you never.” Beware of becoming “historical” (bringing up the past) when becoming “hysterical.”  Conduct some preemptive operations like writing encouraging notes to your spouse, taking them on a date regularly, and praying for them. Spend time with each other, your spouse first and then your children, talking about important things and understanding how the other person feels about life.  While these things may seem small, they are the operations that make up the campaign for peace and they are all important.

If you are currently bound by bitterness, cry out to God and ask the Holy Spirit to help you to forgive or let go of whatever or whoever binds you. Don’t let it poison those around you. Don’t let it destroy you.

If you are married to someone who is bound by bitterness, love and pray them through it  Know it for what it is – Satan’s tool for destroying relationships – and don’t get caught in the snare that bitterness is.

If we are deploying or are deployed and we left some bitterness behind, we need to deliberately increase our operational tempo to start removing any bitterness. It’s not the sort of thing you can afford to turn your back on or ignore while you are away. It will smolder away and you may find that the embers of bitterness are a house-fire by the time the deployment is over. Best to clear the air before departure, or put in a lot of effort through constant and careful communication to get the operation going while you are apart.

We all need to keep a watch on our families and how well we are doing in conducting Peace Support Operations in our homes. The damage caused by bitterness creeping in is too great for us to be able to afford to drop our guard.

Questions to share:

1.  How much deliberate effort do you put into establishing and maintaining peace in your home?

2.  What can you do better to keep the peace?

3.  What bitterness exists that you need to eradicate?

4.  Ask the Holy Spirit to lead your Peace Support Operations and ask for extra help as you confront bitterness.