Day 14: During Deployment “Love Takes Delight”

Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life. — Ecclesiastes 9:9

One of the consistent themes of The Love Dare, and the movie Fireproof, is the necessity of leading your heart, not following it. You cannot always trust your feelings—you’ve probably heard that before. It is true in marriage, especially, because sometimes you just don’t “feel” like loving your spouse. Do it anyway. As it says in Chapter 14, “. . . love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving. In many ways, it’s a truer love because it has its eyes wide open.” (p. 66) After all, life is short—and in the military we are all too aware of that. We want to make the most of our days, and that includes making the choice to love. Remember what it was that first attracted you to him or her, and celebrate that.

Recently I’ve heard several “quotables” that have stuck with me because of their impact. Chuck Swindoll wrote a devotional entitled, “If It Feels Right, Control It.” That’s certainly different from what we heard years ago—“If it feels right, do it.” And Carol Kuydendall of MOPS International (in The Promise of a Mother’s Prayers) wrote, “If Momma ain’t happy, it’s Momma’s responsibility to deal with it.” Again, that’s very different from what we’ve always heard, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” In much the same way, I’ve been moved by what the Kendricks wrote in this chapter, “If you’re irritable, it’s because you choose to be. If you can’t function without a clean house, it’s because you’ve decided no other way will do. If you pick at your mate more than you praise them, it’s because you’ve allowed your heart to be selfish. You’ve led yourself into criticism.” (p. 67) Whoa! What does this have to do with enjoying your spouse??

Turns out that many times it’s easy to “delight in your spouse,” but most times—especially when separated by war—it’s a choice for which we take responsibility. This may be a stretch for you, a big stretch or a new stretch especially if there is a long history of disgust. But the challenge will be to be delighted again, as you once were.

Here is today’s dare during deployment: Choose to neglect one optional activity today that would draw you away from taking some time for your spouse. Take that time and begin planning some romantic time away when you are together again—perhaps a little trip or even time at a Weekend to Remember marriage conference. The purpose will be to spend some quality time together, getting that chance to reconnect and renew your enjoyment of each other.

All over the country, military couples who are getting ready to deploy or getting back together are attending a Weekend to Remember as either a “tune-up” before their separation or an intentional time of togetherness when back at home. Having a plan for a time away for fun will give you something to look forward to. It will feel right, and Momma will be very happy.

Here are Scriptures to encourage you in truth:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. — Song of Solomon 2:3,4

Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me. My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. — Song of Solomon 2:13,14

Work cited:

Kendrick, Stephen and Alex, The Love Dare (Nashville:B & H Publishing Group, 2008)

Rich, Scharlotte, The Promise of a Mother’s Prayers (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2006), p. 61

Swindoll, Charles R., Insight for Living: Daily Devotional for January 15, 2009 on www.insight.org

Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life. — Ecclesiastes 9:9

One of the consistent themes of The Love Dare, and the movie Fireproof, is the necessity of leading your heart, not following it. You cannot always trust your feelings—you’ve probably heard that before. It is true in marriage, especially, because sometimes you just don’t “feel” like loving your spouse. Do it anyway. As it says in Chapter 14, “. . . love that chooses to love is just as powerful as love that feels like loving. In many ways, it’s a truer love because it has its eyes wide open.” (p. 66) After all, life is short—and in the military we are all too aware of that. We want to make the most of our days, and that includes making the choice to love. Remember what it was that first attracted you to him or her, and celebrate that.

Recently I’ve heard several “quotables” that have stuck with me because of their impact. Chuck Swindoll wrote a devotional entitled, “If It Feels Right, Control It.” That’s certainly different from what we heard years ago—“If it feels right, do it.” And Carol Kuydendall of MOPS International (in The Promise of a Mother’s Prayers) wrote, “If Momma ain’t happy, it’s Momma’s responsibility to deal with it.” Again, that’s very different from what we’ve always heard, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” In much the same way, I’ve been moved by what the Kendricks wrote in this chapter, “If you’re irritable, it’s because you choose to be. If you can’t function without a clean house, it’s because you’ve decided no other way will do. If you pick at your mate more than you praise them, it’s because you’ve allowed your heart to be selfish. You’ve led yourself into criticism.” (p. 67) Whoa! What does this have to do with enjoying your spouse??

Turns out that many times it’s easy to “delight in your spouse,” but most times—especially when separated by war—it’s a choice for which we take responsibility. This may be a stretch for you, a big stretch or a new stretch especially if there is a long history of disgust. But the challenge will be to be delighted again, as you once were.

Here is today’s dare during deployment: Choose to neglect one optional activity today that would draw you away from taking some time for your spouse. Take that time and begin planning some romantic time away when you are together again—perhaps a little trip or even time at a Weekend to Remember marriage conference. The purpose will be to spend some quality time together, getting that chance to reconnect and renew your enjoyment of each other.

All over the country, military couples who are getting ready to deploy or getting back together are attending a Weekend to Remember as either a “tune-up” before their separation or an intentional time of togetherness when back at home. Having a plan for a time away for fun will give you something to look forward to. It will feel right, and Momma will be very happy.

Here are Scriptures to encourage you in truth:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. — Song of Solomon 2:3,4

Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me. My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. — Song of Solomon 2:13,14

Work cited:

Kendrick, Stephen and Alex, The Love Dare (Nashville:B & H Publishing Group, 2008)

Rich, Scharlotte, The Promise of a Mother’s Prayers (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2006), p. 61

Swindoll, Charles R., Insight for Living: Daily Devotional for January 15, 2009 on www.insight.org