A Father’s Charge

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Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in His commands. His children will be mighty in the land; each generation of the upright will be blessed. — Psalm 112:1,2

The bride was stunningly beautiful. The groom was handsome and beaming. It was a starlit fall night—the perfect evening for a wedding in east Texas. And once the vows were repeated, the new couple was introduced to everyone in the joy-filled church, and the reception dinner was completed . . . . the bride’s father got up to give his toast before the cake was cut.

My husband and I were out-of-town guests, knowing the groom but not the bride. It was important to us to know that our friend was marrying into a godly family—one which honored and loved our Lord Jesus Christ. Everything about the ceremony indicated to us that this was so . . . . but we were especially moved by the words spoken by this dear father who had just given his daughter away in marriage to our friend. His was a wedding blessing as profound as any we have ever heard—worthy of sharing it with you, with another challenge.

Here’s what the father of the bride said,

The Approval: “Kendra, you have grown into a beautiful woman. Your mother and I have prayed for you since you were born. We have prayed that you would love the Lord and follow Him. You have made good decisions about school, career, and finances. We are so proud of you and we love you very much.

“Colin, I was praying for you before you were in kindergarten. I prayed that God would protect the innocence of Kendra’s future husband, and that he would be a godly man. Her mother and I as well as Kendra’s grandparents prayed that God would bring the perfect mate for her. We believe that He did. We love you and are very proud and grateful to have you be a part of our family.”

The Charge: “Now I charge you with this. Do it better than us. In a world where each generation seems to be less moral, and more liberal in Biblical things, strive to be better than your parents. Where the world doesn’t take wedding vows seriously, cling to yours. As best as we tried, we failed in areas of parenting. Take that and improve. Take the good stuff, and be better. Take the not so good stuff and do it better. Cherish your marriage. Fight for it, and guard it. Fight for your children’s innocence. Don’t let the village raise your kids. The village is not accountable to God. You will be. Guard their hearts. Teach them to love the Lord with all their heart and teach them how to worship.”

The Blessing: “From Deuteronomy 28:2—‘All these blessings will come to you in abundance if you obey the Lord your God.’ From Deuteronomy 30:16—‘I command you to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to keep His commandments and His statutes and His judgments, that you may live and multiply, and that the Lord your God may bless you in the land where you are entering.’ And now I pray, from Numbers 6:24—‘That the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace.’”

At the end of that toast, we all applauded . . . . but my heart was stuck on his words “Do it better than us.”

My mind immediately went to you—those who are serving our nation sacrificially and experiencing the challenges of deployment. I took my generation’s experience with family life during Vietnam and the cold war and thought, “Do it better than us.”

With all of the advances in communication, I thought, “Stay in contact better than we did.” With all of the good methods of deployment readiness, I thought, “Be more prepared than we were.” With all of the devotional material and marital studies, I thought, “We just tried to survive—you try to thrive!”

Our generation did some things well, but you can do better. Be aware of the pitfalls—be aware of the threats—be faithful to each other—be committed to your marriage. “Fight for it, and guard it.” Well said, Dad.

Questions to Share:

1. Is it your desire to do some things better than your parents did? Share with each other what those things might be.

2. What are some things you believe you could improve on, as a couple?  Could you pray together more often—encourage each other more regularly—ask more questions about how each other is doing?