Hope as a Last Resort

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“I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” — Jeremiah 32:27

“I’ve given up hope for our marriage! This Bible study is my last resort. I’m signing us up and we’ll be there at the Chapel for the meeting, but if this doesn’t work—I’m outta’ here!” I heard these words of despair over the telephone from a military wife several years ago. “No pressure,” I thought. Fortunately, it wasn’t up to my husband and me who facilitated the HomeBuilders Bible study—it was up to God.

We serve a very big God. Do you think that sometimes we forget that? In one of our favorite crisis marriage books, Before The Last Resort, the author, George Kenworthy writes, “Your view of God is critical to your view of His ability to make over your marriage.” (p. 30)  Dr. Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, is known for saying, “We can trace all of our human problems to our view of God.”  If we think that God is small and powerless, we will have big problems. If we know that God is big and all-powerful, we will have small problems. Do you believe this?

The first chapter in Before The Last Resort is “You Gotta Have Hope.” People quit on their marriages when they have lost hope. So if you’re headed towards “the last resort,” consider making a stop and looking around for some hope. We serve a God of all hope—“with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

Why did you lose hope? Was there someone who convinced you that your marriage was not going to make it? In our experience, people oftentimes base their attitudes on what they are hearing from the people they choose to hang around with. Who are you listening to? In the movie Fireproof we saw this vividly portrayed. Caleb listened to his father and to his friend and co-worker, Michael, both Christians. They gave him hope—they pointed him to truth in God’s Word, and they told him stories of how God had worked in their marriages. These men spurred him on—encouraged him not to give up. Catherine, on the other hand, was listening to negative voices—friends who urged her to leave her husband, and another man who wooed her with flattery. At one point Catherine was confronted by an older, wiser lady from her church, who spoke truth with love. Catherine didn’t want to listen.

In the end, God brought Caleb and Catherine back together through a powerful journey of forgiveness, obedience and perseverance. Their story (the movie Fireproof), on DVD, is available to give you hope. Also, books like Before the Last Resort provide you with stories of “hopeless” marriages which change through the power of God. Would that cause you to see that there is another option beside divorce? Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but God is in the business of saving and strengthening marriages—even during war-time with multiple deployments.

George Kenworthy writes in the introduction to Before the Last Resort: “I realize you may have already given up hope. But, I challenge you to dare to hope again as you and I begin an adventure to discover what can happen when we say yes to the power of Jesus. . . . The God that chose you, who loves you and sent His son Jesus to die for you, is a God who has resources in heaven—riches, strength, power, and might—that are beyond your imagination. . . .He cares about your family, your marriage, and He especially cares about the fact that you are hurting today. Will you give Him one more chance?” (p.4)

So as you make a stop on the way to “the last resort,” let me encourage you with what we saw God do with our couple who was in crisis through our HomeBuilders study, Defending the Military Marriage. They came. . . .they participated. . . .they prayed. . . .they listened—and God did a miracle in their life. It happened during the second session when we were discussing reintegration after deployment. That had been our couple’s biggest obstacle. . .you know, the power struggle that goes on regarding “who’s in charge.” One of the other couples in our group shared their struggles with reintegration—and how they had learned step-by-step to pray, cope and overcome. Our couple in crisis looked at each other and said, “We can do that!”

Two months later, through the power of the Holy Spirit, the chaplain informed us that he had baptized our couple and their whole family. The circumstances of deployment had not changed, but God changed their hearts. While headed to the last resort, they listened to hope.

To whom are you listening today? Are you listening to voices that would pronounce doom on your marriage? Or are you listening to truth found in the Scriptures, describing the power of our loving God:

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. — Psalm 42:5

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. — Psalm 130:5

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. — Lamentations 3:21-23

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. — Romans 5:5

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. — Romans 15:4

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. — Romans 15:13

Work cited:

Kenworthy, George, Before The Last Resort (Little Rock: FamilyLife Publishers, 2005 & 2008).

Questions to Share:

1. God tells us that He can do the impossible. . . .and we have seen evidence of this in our life and in the lives of many others. Take time to consider whom you listen to for advice. Are they speaking to you of hope for your marriage? Why or why not?
2. Pray for God to lead you to good help for your marriage—good church or chapel, good resources, good seminars, good Bible studies, good friends. Begin acting on hope for the future of your marriage. A good place to start is www.familylife.com