Sometimes . . . when someone has experienced a tragedy, it’s best to sit with them in silence. Not always, but sometimes. Alistair Begg, senior pastor of Parkside Church in Cleveland, Ohio, calls that “Eloquent Silence.”
I remember one of our local chaplains telling us about a visit he made to a Navy family in the housing area whose baby had died. When he arrived, he sat with the couple on the front porch. Just sat with them. Later the couple told him that was the most helpful thing he could have done at the time. He acted according to Romans 12:15, “. . . mourn with those who mourn.”
Waiting … Waiting … Waiting
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Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. — I Peter 5:7
Waiting … waiting … waiting
I’ve been married to a soldier almost 14 years now and I think I’ve spent the whole time waiting. I’ve waited for orders, for our children (infertility then the process of adoption – twice), for deployments to start, for deployments to end. By now I should have the patience of Job. But I don’t. Waiting is really tough stuff.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD (Psalm 27:14).
There are a number of ways to live out being patient or “waiting”. Sometimes we just become effective fakers for others’ benefit. I think I’ve mastered the “I just don’t want to talk about it method.” When comparing this method to the “She talks about it all the time” method, I appear quite controlled to anybody who is looking. But, keeping it all in doesn’t do much good when it’s all just boiling around in there.
My friend has four teenagers and her husband is about to deploy for a year. She reminds me of myself because when you mention it she just smiles and says something like, “We’ll get through it.” On the other end of the spectrum is a little nine-year-old girl in my son’s class at school. Her mom is deploying next month and she’s mad. She’s throwing tantrums, crying and just generally letting the world know she’s not happy. She reminds me of me too, the inner part of me.
Jesus tells us to rest on Him – Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28,29)
If you’ve been through deployment or any kind of waiting period, you know it is literally a heavy thing. Your heart just has this burden on it and you feel it constantly. It can bloom and grow into an unbearable weight and then can spread out and influence your speech and your body language until you yourself exude this heaviness. You’ve seen someone like this – maybe it’s even been you.
But hard things don’t have to stay heavy. You can lay them aside every single day. Jesus’ mercies are new every morning and that’s a really good thing because somehow those burdens always seem to be right back on your back when you’ve had a night to sleep on them.
It’s so okay to be sad about deployments or infertility or any kind of disappointment. But it’s not okay to drown in them. We have to help our kids learn how to lean on Jesus. And we have to be willing to share our hearts a little when they’re heavy so that our friends can help us bear these loads. No matter how old you are – Jesus is your best friend and He will carry all your cares. Let Him do so now. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (I Peter 5:7)
Questions to Share:
1. How patient do you believe you are? Share an example with each other of a time when you had to demonstrate great patience.
2. How did the Lord help you to patiently endure your time of waiting?
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