Words Aptly Spoken

Excellent or Praiseworthy is posted on Monday and Thursday nights.

Editor’s Note: There are fifty-two good quotes here about married life. That’s one for every week of the year. Enjoy!

“Haven’t you read,” (Jesus) replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”—Matthew 19:4-6

“In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.” Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in Love and Respect

“My marriage has been gloriously hard at times. I say gloriously, because if it had not been hard I wouldn’t have sought God to help me make it through the hard. The hard is a mighty tool in the Maker’s hand. The hard has caused me to allow Him to chisel away at the selfish parts of me.” Tracey Eyster in “After 25 Years, Am I Part of a ‘Dying Breed?’”

“Prayer guarantees that I am seeing my role as father for what it really is—a spiritual calling, the most important assignment God will ever give me.” Paul Lewis in Secrets of a Winning Dad

“Our marriage is a reflection of what happens in our relationship with God. The more time we spend with Him, the more we know Him, the more we become like Him.” Bea Fishback in Loving Your Military Man

“In a Christian marriage, conflict—with its demands for confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation—is a means God employs to teach humility.” D. H. Small

“(Marriage is) an unrelenting guerilla warfare against selfishness.” Mike Mason in The Mystery of Marriage

“Whatever else may be said about the home, it is the bottom line of life, the anvil upon which attitudes and convictions are hammered out. It is the place where life’s bills come due, the single most influential force in our earthly existence . . .It is at home, among family members, that we come to terms with circumstances. It is here life makes up its mind.” Chuck Swindoll

“So when you are working on your family you are working on the good of this nation and on the good of the Kingdom of God around the world.” Dr. Gary Chapman

“The greatest gift my parents & grandparents gave me was the realization that I was not the most important person in their lives, neither was my brother, neither were they to each other. No one was more important to them than God. I learned that everyone’s life is a story whose point is discovered only when that story is lifted up into the larger story of God. We are not the point—none of us. God is, and until we see our story as a subplot in His eternal drama we will never see the meaning of life. I learned that lesson from my father as he taught me the value of God.” Ken Gire in Thanks, Dad

“The longer I live, the more convinced I am that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it.” Chuck Swindoll

“That I cannot change my spouse is an often recited truth, but that I can and do influence my spouse is a truth often overlooked. . .” Dr. Gary Chapman in Loving Solutions

“Of all the leadership decisions I have made by the grace of God, the very best one has been leading my wife and family into our local church . . .We are a part of it. It is a part of us and our entire family. For us, life, marriage, and raising children apart from the local church is literally unimaginable. Friends, this should be the norm, not the exception, for every Christian. And regardless of the cultural whirlwind around us, it is the local church—Christians living a shared life biblically before God and one another—that will ultimately secure the place and role of marriage and family from generation to generation.” Gary & Betsy Ricucci in Love That Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace

“Relationships move at the speed of trust.” Unknown

“The Bible begins with a wedding and it ends with a wedding; the greatest love song in human literature is in the center, and Christ’s first miracle sanctifies a wedding . . . my conviction is that 90 percent of the problems in marriage result directly from sin, and that obedience to the plain teaching of Scripture would of itself, in most cases, produce the kind of marriage God intends.” Robertson McQuilkin in An Introduction to Biblical Ethics

“God’s primary call on our lives is not to activity but to a relationship with Him . . . Once people have their relationships with God made right, their other relationships are inevitably affected.” Henry & Richard Blackaby in Fresh Encounter

“Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God’s holy ordinance, through which he wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Letters and Papers from Prison

“Where a man belongs is up early and alone with God seeking vision and direction for his family.” John Piper in “Desiring God”

“No one can be responsible for success unless he is willing to accept responsibility for failure as well. True in business, marriage, and all life.” Edwin Louis Cole in Maximized Manhood

“Decision making for the Christian couple should not be reduced to an issue of who is right and who is wrong, or who is in charge and who is following. Instead, a husband and wife should seek to discover God’s will on a daily basis by talking things out together with an attitude that trusts God, committed to doing what He leads them to do.” Dennis & Barbara Rainey in Staying Close

“Prayer sanctifies trouble to our highest good.” E.M. Bounds in Prayer

“Married life is a marathon, not a sprint. It is not enough to make a great start toward long-term marriage. You will need the determination to keep plugging on, even when every fiber of your body longs to quit.” Dr. James Dobson in Love for a Lifetime

“Since the husband’s love for his wife pictures Christ’s love for the church, it must also be the kind of love that outlasts every trial and overcomes every obstacle.” John MacArthur in The Fulfilled Family

“A safe home is a place where people always think the best of each other.” Robert Wolgemuth in The Most Important Place on Earth: What a Christian Home Looks Like and How to Build One

“She’s got Gaps. . . I got Gaps . . . Together we fill Gaps.”  Rocky

“The more we create channels through which His love can flow into our love, the greater our love will be.” Charlie Shedd in Letters to Karen

“We thought we were doing the dishes. But we were doing what families have been doing for centuries: working together, laughing together, and learning to love each other in the process. And this was all happening in the kitchen—the most important place inside the most important place!” Robert Wolgemuth in The Most Important Place on Earth: What a Christian Home Looks Like and How to Build One

“She deeply needs to know that you understand how she’s feeling.” Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn in For Men Only

“Just as we love to hear ‘I love you,’ a man’s heart is powerfully touched by a few simple words: ‘I’m so proud of you.’” Shaunti Feldhahn in For Women Only

“A good marriage takes two good forgivers.” Credited to Ruth Bell Graham

“Remember that the original design for marriage is oneness.” Bob & Cheryl Moeller in The Marriage Miracle

“Did you realize that your marriage affects God’s reputation on this planet?” Dennis & Barbara Rainey in Staying Close

“ . . . I wish somebody had told me for my first years as a husband: 1. Never point in derision to something she can’t change; 2. Never criticize her in public; 3. Never compare her unfavorably with other women; 4. Never drop a delayed bomb; 5. Never go away when she is crying; 6. Never lay a hand on her except in love.” Charlie Shedd in Letters to Philip

“People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. Their criticism is an ineffective way of pleading for love. If we understand that, it may help us process their criticism in a more productive manner.” Dr. Gary Chapman in The Five Love Languages

“An attitude of ‘Thank you’ is pure magic at your house.” Robert Wolgemuth in The Most Important Place on Earth: What a Christian Home Looks Like and How to Build One

“The biblical understanding of sexual roles is essential to the survival and success of the Christian family.” Dennis Rainey in One Home at a Time

“Where sin abounds in a marriage, the grace of God can transform that marriage so that, in the end, grace is greater than all of the sin.” Jay E. Adams in Solving Marriage Problems

“Marriages fail because one or both spouses harden their hearts. . . If two hardened hearts will destroy a marriage, then two softened hearts will heal a marriage.” Bob & Cheryl Moeller in The Marriage Miracle

“Every marriage saved affects hundreds of other couples.” Dr. Gary Chapman in Covenant Marriage

“One of my favorite verses in the Bible to use in premarital counseling is not one you would probably call to mind quickly: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain’ (Exodus 20:7). The reason for this verse? This verse relates not to cursing, as many people seem to think, but to the seriousness of vows that we make in the name of the Lord. “ Tommy Nelson in The Book of Romance

“It is true that you marry the family.” Jay E. Adams in Solving Marriage Problems

“If you’re trying to find your primary refuge in your husband, if you’ve centered your hope on him, if your security depends on his approval, and if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance—then you’ve just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God alone.” Gary Thomas in Sacred Influence

“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” Martin Luther

“Anger management doesn’t make any more sense than hate management or lust management. You don’t manage sin, you get rid of it.” Bob & Cheryl Moeller in The Marriage Miracle

“Hold hands everywhere. . . When you hold hands, you are telling the world: you are in love; God was right in bringing you two together; you are fulfilling God’s plan by filling each others’ gaps; you want to honor God by your commitment to each other.” Jim & Barbara Grunseth in Remember the Rowboats: Anchor Your Marriage to Christ

“When a couple learns to share on the emotional level and can understand and experience each others’ feelings, they are well on their way to achieving true intimacy.” H. Norman Wright in Communication: Key to Your Marriage

“Romance dies when couples forget the preciousness of their mates. Spouses too often come to take each other for granted, and they lose sight of just how special they are to each other. Romance requires intention, care, and focus.” Tommy Nelson in The Book of Romance

“So, according to Paul, where should we start when we find ourselves in a hurting marriage that has left us hopeless, weak, and defeated? We focus on God, that’s number one. And, of course, we do this through prayer.” George Kenworthy in Before the Last Resort: 3 Simple Questions to Rescue Your Marriage

“We are ‘daily’ people, not life-time people, but God wants us to be eternal people. How I wish someone had asked me to visualize my funeral at the beginning of my marriage.” Linda Dillow in What’s It Like to be Married to Me?

“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.” Dr. Gary Chapman in The Five Love Languages

“Keeping first things first makes second things better. Staying in love isn’t the first task of marriage. It is a happy overflow of covenant-keeping for Christ’s sake.” John Piper in This Momentary Marriage

“A God-honoring marriage is not created by finding a flawless spouse but by allowing God’s perfect love and acceptance to flow through an imperfect person (you) toward another imperfect person (your spouse).” Dennis & Barbara Rainey in Building Your Marriage to Last

“I see the Family as a divinely appointed tool, an instrument to impact a hungry and thirsty society with the reality of Jesus Christ in human experience.”  Dr. Howard Hendricks

Questions to Share:

1. Which of the quotes above is your favorite? Why?

2. Which of the quotes above is your least favorite? Why?