Handling the “What-Ifs”

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Editor’s Note:  Lisa White writes about military life on her blog “A Chance to Bloom.” This posting, written by Lisa, was included on FaithDeployed.com, “How to Handle the What Ifs”, and Web Site Editor Jocelyn Green has given us permission to share it with you.

“For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11, NLT

A friend of mine recently asked me how I keep my mind from wandering to the what-ifs during deployments. Her husband is a helicopter pilot beginning his first deployment. She had heard about a fatal overseas helicopter crash on the news and, though knowing her husband wasn’t involved, she wanted some advice on how to deal with the “It could have been him” or the “What would I do without him” thoughts that infiltrate a military wife’s mind when her husband is deployed.

This question hit the nail on the head for me. I, too, am the wife of a helicopter pilot and I, too, have been in the position where something in the news causes my mind to go from feeling strong and content to imagining the worst-case scenario in a matter of seconds. Through three deployments, though, I have found a way to push the worry aside and prevent the what-ifs from taking over my mind.

“For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT)

When I find the what-ifs creeping into my mind, I hand them over to God. I put my husband’s life in His hands and trust that He will take care of him no matter what. In a situation over which I have no control, the only way I feel I can make a difference is by praying and having faith that whatever happens is part of God’s plan.

When my husband received one-month notice that he would be deploying to Afghanistan, I was scared. His first two deployments were in much safer areas and I didn’t like the idea of him being somewhere so dangerous. But because I knew there was nothing I could do about it, I decided that for the next eight months, I would trust God with his life. I vowed to remember that God has a plan for me, for us, and no matter how it turned out, everything would be okay in the end.

The thought of losing my husband is too much to bear, and spending an entire deployment worrying about it would be detrimental to my well-being. But because of God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11, I know that even if the worst happens, it is part of a greater plan. I know that any difficult circumstance will eventually lead to something good, even if it takes a while to see it. And the peace that comes with trusting God is the greatest line of defense against the inevitable what-ifs.

Questions to Share:

1. What Scriptures have you remembered and repeated to get you through feelings of fear?

2. Pray for each other to trust God during this deployment.