Bob and Cheryl Moeller do a great job of ministering and training singles—in the disciplines of the faith, in their spiritual walk as singles, and in their lives of dating and preparation for marriage.
Recently on their website, ForKeepsMinistries.com, Bob included his list of “Ten Things I Did Right, Ten Things I Did Wrong” from his own season of singleness, with the Scriptures which inspired his reflections.
Hearing Voices
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Jesus said, “He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. When He has brought out all His own, He goes on ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” —John 10:3b-5
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” —Isaiah 30:21
Jesus said, “He who has ears, let him hear.” — Matthew 11:15
The new class of high school seniors walks into Mr. Mike’s Sunday School room every September, eager to begin the year of study that will prepare them for “life.” Mr. Mike begins the hour with three sets of important questions:
— “In the next six years you will be making very important decisions which will affect the rest of your life. What are some of them?” The answers begin—whether or not to go to college; which college to go to; what to major in at college; what job to get; who to marry; whether or not to join the military; where to live.
— “How will you make these decisions? Who will you go to for advice?” The answers are a little slower in coming, but include—peers, parents, pastors, the media, books, internet, teachers, friends.
— “Are you going to weigh all advice equally? Who has your best interests at heart?” The class begins to rank these “voices” in terms of who they should listen to first, and last, based on which influencer knows them best and cares the most.
And thus begins the year of Bible study and worldview training. If the students are astute, and most of them are, they will remember this first lesson—and it will serve them well when they are weighing options and making tough choices.
Some of the biggest mistakes I have made were because I followed bad advice. I listened to the wrong “voices.” I thought that following current cultural trends was more important than following age-old wisdom. I thought that everyone’s motives were pure and that they knew what was best for me. I thought I could trust anyone with experience, even if that experience had led them into failure. I thought that many college degrees made a person an expert. I thought that an older generation couldn’t possibly relate to my contemporary situations. I thought that no one could possibly understand what I was going through unless they had “walked a mile in my shoes.” I thought that clichés like, “if it feels good, do it”. . . and “I’m okay, you’re okay” . . . and “there’s no such thing as black and white—everything is gray,” were true statements on which to base major decisions. And in a very contradictory way, I thought there was no such thing as truth—that humanism and situational ethics ruled the day. I was wrong, and many others with me. And there are consequences to bad choices.
Times really haven’t changed, have they? If anything, there are more voices competing for our attention than ever before. How do you sort through all of that? To whom do you listen when life seems burdensome and hope seems gone? If you’re a spouse on a third deployment, do you listen to a “friend” who says, “You’re too young to be tied down like this. Get a divorce.” Or when pornography rears its ugly head, do you listen to a voice that says, “It doesn’t do any harm—no one will know and no one will get hurt.” Or when there is temptation to flirt or spend intimate time with a member of the opposite sex, do you listen to someone who says, “It’s okay. Everyone is doing it.”
Are these voices telling the truth? Is marriage just a contract with “satisfaction guaranteed or your money back,” or is it a covenant made with the vows, “for better or worse”? Are “adult” sexual images totally victimless—or are they addictive and harmful? And is it true that in committing adultery “everyone is doing it”—and that somehow makes it right? These are lies, and they come from the pit of hell. When Jesus speaks of the devil, He says, “When he (Satan) lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44)
What voices should you be listening to? John 8:47 goes on to say, “He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.” Acknowledging your sin and your need for a Savior. . .then surrendering your life to Jesus Christ, receiving His forgiveness. . . gives you the ability to know our Father and to hear His voice. John 1:12 says, “Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” My own children know my voice—and they know all of its intonations. The same is true of the children of God—our spirits are in tune with His Spirit, and will hear what He says when He speaks through His Word, through prayer, through the church, and through circumstances (yours and others).
As a child of God, how can you seek His will when there are so many voices competing for your attention? Here are some suggestions:
— Make decisions consistent with the Word of God. The Bible is our “instruction manual,” and contains directions for living the Christian life. If a worldly voice says that adultery is okay because our culture is rampant with it. . . but the Bible says that adultery is a sin, then a Christian will know that choosing to live a pure life in commitment to his/her spouse is the right thing to do. God will bless that decision. But we cannot know what is in the Bible unless we spend time (preferably daily) reading it! If you don’t know where to start in reading through the Bible, you may want to begin by reading the book of John in the New Testament. Most verses in today’s EorP devotion are from the book written by the apostle John.
— Seek wisdom from Godly mentors. Do you know a Christian who is seeking to follow Christ in every aspect of his or her life? Ask them for counsel, for prayer, for recommendations of resources. Make sure that this person is the same gender as you. Chaplains are also available in most units to point you in a spiritual direction, and they can recommend someone to come alongside you and help you grow spiritually during this deployment—a spiritual “battle buddy.” And at home find a church (or chapel) and get “plugged in”—one which is military-friendly and desires to support you through this time of war-time separation.
— Make yourself accountable. A small group of fellow believers can be a great place to gain encouragement, study the Bible, pray, and keep yourself accountable for proper decisions.
— Pray to have “ears to hear.” Jesus often spoke of having “eyes to see and ears to hear.” I want to see God at work—and I want to hear what He has to say to me. Pray for the humility to hear His voice, and to be able to separate it from the clamor of voices of the world. His Word is truth. And Jesus said, “If you hold to My teaching, you are really My disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)
Jesus said, “My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of My hand.” (John 10:27-28) Knowing and listening to the voice of God will always lead you down the right path, holding His hand every step of the way!
Questions to Share:
1. What decisions do you have to make in the next few years?
2. To whom will you go for good advice in making those decisions?
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