Sometimes . . . when someone has experienced a tragedy, it’s best to sit with them in silence. Not always, but sometimes. Alistair Begg, senior pastor of Parkside Church in Cleveland, Ohio, calls that “Eloquent Silence.”
I remember one of our local chaplains telling us about a visit he made to a Navy family in the housing area whose baby had died. When he arrived, he sat with the couple on the front porch. Just sat with them. Later the couple told him that was the most helpful thing he could have done at the time. He acted according to Romans 12:15, “. . . mourn with those who mourn.”
“I’ll Be Home for Christmas”?
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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. — Romans 15:13
I grew up in a military family. Then I married a military man. I know the demands—I get it . . . yet, during the holidays we military families can feel extra stress. The items on our laundry lists pile on even when a household member’s laundry is absent.
For example–I didn’t want my husband to leave last week, even though it was a short TDY (I wanted to have his laundry). Maybe it was the circumstances we have surrounding a “new arrival” due in the spring, a couple of young children to tend already, or his super-demanding training causing a bit of frazzled feelings on the home front. I just wanted him to stay home, hit pause and enjoy a moment of peace. Selfishly, still, it seems I’m taking my current stress and loneliness, adding on to them the loneliness of my friends who will be separated from their spouses during the holidays because of deployment, and just experiencing some holiday let down.
I get that this life has its duty, and job commitment. My husband willingly serves and protects those he loves, and others, in a dark world. The missed family and community gatherings at Christmas create a gap in our life because of his honor to his country—mine, too. Far from being anything new, this is a high calling which, in my family, has meant sacrifice in the generational circles of my father, grandfather, uncles . . . and now our turn. And honor may just be where I see God in His glory meeting him underneath the heap of my holiday stress piles.
Most days, I would like to hear a word of peace, fresh from those who are merrily going about their days with the holiday busyness, while my family supports an ongoing war. After all, we need to know we are not alone in the fight for freedom. Our country is free because of the sacrifices of others . . . including us now—but some days it feels more like a burden. A word of joy and encouragement would be an ounce of levity in what I feel are pounds of sacrifice. Yet there is a whisper from God. He provides Emmanuel, my Friend, the great story of encouragement to us all.
In thinking back to years past—and wars past—I recently read (a luxury, I know) the story behind the classic Christmas song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”. You all know it, but what you may not know is it was written during World War II and sung for America by Bing Crosby starting in 1943.
I read about it in the book Stories Behind the Best-Loved Songs of Christmas by Ace Collins. This particular paragraph got me to thinking: “One of the true wonders of this song is that it sounds more like a letter home than a typical Christmas carol. Not only is there a real sadness evident in the words and melody, but a hopefulness as well. . . The spiritual nature of this song comes from its almost prayer-like message. Christmas in America had always been about family and remembering the One who started it all. Yet World War II had broken those bonds and disturbed the traditions of the holidays. ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ eloquently acknowledged the hope that while things changed, given time, everyone would be home again.” (p. 94)
Hmmm. Our generation has seen the longest war in its history . . . and, if we stay in the military, our career will most likely mean a career with ongoing deployments. What insight is gleamed from this song (other than a healthy diversion from my gloom)?
The author credits the words of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” for moving our nation “during the uncertain times of war, as well as the way they continue to move people today, mak(ing) this secular carol one of the most spiritual songs of any era.” (p. 91,92).
He ends the story behind this old Christmas favorite with this perspective, “As a testament to its hopeful nature, even though it does not have a single reference to Jesus or the first Christmas, over the past fifty years it has been used in hundreds of cantatas and church programs. Today, more than five decades after it was embraced as a World War II holiday prayer, ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ stirs new emotions. Most of those who returned home for Christmas after the war have left this world for the next. Yet because of the contributions and sacrifices of the men and women who served our country during those dark days, they will always be home for Christmas in our hearts, memories, and dreams.” (p. 95)
I do believe we are appreciated. And just as first responders, airline personnel, utility workers, medical staff, pastors, etc., are all called on to work during these special days, we are sacrificing for the good of many. Our demands as military are exceptional and extraordinary . . . but it’s our calling for this season of our lives. Perhaps the love we have as believers which God gave this season, so unexpected, so unconventional, can be spread into those sometimes forgotten. Spread through the town for those who came to Bethlehem to be counted.
So what I need to feel is hope. Hope to help me see His perspective of honor and sacrifice . . . hope to warm my heart when the other side of the bed is cold . . . hope to look beyond the empty chairs and feel the smiles from across the miles . . . hope to know that he will be home, his spot counted.
And that takes faith. Faith that assures us that this world is not all there is. Like Chuck Swindoll says “little faith brings us to heaven but big faith brings heaven to earth”. Faith reminding me Jesus’ birth also meant redemption at the cross and heaven here on earth in the manger at Christmas. Finally, faith in his death and resurrection giving New Life to our lives, at every turn of events, especially those that are common with our military life!
Faith is where I “land” when my mind whirls through seemingly endless cycles of frustration, doubt, and fear. Certainly it is “being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). Jesus Christ, and his birth we celebrate at Christmas, brings us precious faith in spite of duty, deployments, and demands. Our story is but a subplot in His story.
As the saying goes, “We do not know what the future holds, but we know ‘Who’ holds the future.”
With a more calm and peaceful heart—because of Jesus—and whether our military friends and family will be home this year or not, we pray that their citizenship—indeed their true “home”—is ultimately counted in heaven with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Work Cited:
Collins, Ace. Stories Behind the Best-Loved Songs of Christmas (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2001).
Questions to Share:
- Share with each other any struggles you have to maintain a “holiday spirit” during this time of year.
- Pray for each other to hold the healthy perspective of Christian joy through these difficult days.
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