Staying Connected

Excellent or Praiseworthy is posted on Monday and Thursday nights.

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” — Romans 15:4-6

These are not the typical verses you would see applied to a marriage study. But in thinking about what a couple goes through while separated during deployment—it might be excellent (and praiseworthy!) to consider them in order to give us direction and hope. Isn’t endurance what we need? Isn’t encouragement a wonderful gift? Doesn’t hope offer us light at the end of a dark day? And, as a married couple, isn’t unity (even though separated geographically) as we follow Christ a wonderful goal so that we can praise Him with our mouths and glorify Him in our words and actions?

Consider this. . . . .our pastor and his wife were in our local Christian book store doing some shopping when they overheard a young lady (with several children in tow) asking the bookseller for devotional material. Her husband was getting ready to deploy and they wanted to “stay connected” while he was gone. Praise God! After this military wife spent some time looking through what the bookstore had on their shelves, our pastor and his wife were able to speak to this young lady and encourage her. Between the ideas that they all shared that day—and others that we can add. . .here are some bits of advice that we pass on to couples who have the same desire to “stay connected” by using solid devotional material:

• Read the Bible together. The spiritual disciplines of Bible reading and journaling are the best places to start (and finish). Sometimes I think that, as a society, we’re so enthralled by certain Bible teachers that we are more likely to read their teaching than study the Bible ourselves. Suggestion: Buy two one-year Bibles, exactly alike, and read each day (if possible!) during your quiet time. Write down truths taught, lessons learned, applications to ponder, and be ready to share when you can communicate. Realizing that some of our deployed troops are not able to use the internet on a regular basis, don’t forget that the hand-written letter is still one of the best means of communication.  Also realizing the operational tempo does not always allow for regular study, read and write if and when you can.
• Read online devotionals together. Our two favorite online devotionals for helping a military couple stay connected are Cru Military’s “Excellent or Praiseworthy” (EorP) and FamilyLife’s “Moments with You”. EorP posts on Mondays and Thursday nights, and has questions at the end of each posting which you can share. “Moments with You” posts each day and also has questions to share. Just go to www.familylife.com and click “Subscribe” for selections.
• Read devotional books together. Don’t forget the classic devotionals, such as “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. Did you realize that Oswald Chambers was in ministry to military in World War I? You can read more about that in the EorP October 4, 2007, posting entitled “Keep on Praying.” Suggestion: Buy two devotional books and read them “together.” Don’t forget to share what you’ve learned!
• Work through a Bible study together. Sharing a Bible study is a great way to make sure that you’re “on the same page” as you seek to grow spiritually during this deployment. One of our favorites is a companion series offered by NavPress written by Jack and Cynthia Heald entitled “Loving Your Wife” and “Loving Your Husband.” They are each twelve sessions long and are complementary. Ask around—ask your chaplain—there are other great studies available to do together. HomeBuilders Bible studies are typically studied in a small group setting—but please don’t be limited by that! Defending the Military Marriage, Defending the Military Family, and Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready are all available and can be successfully completed by deployed couples.
• Read a book on marriage together. Dr. Gary Chapman has written a classic book entitled Five Love Languages (even a Military Edition now). Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has written Love and Respect. Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas is also a wonderful writing on marriage. His great quote is, “What if marriage is more about being holy than about being happy?” There are so many good books to recommend. We have known several couples who have read a book “together” and they all recommend it for staying connected.
• Pray together! How do you do that when you’re apart?? Get creative. Pick a time each day that your spouse knows that you will be praying for them. Pray over the phone. Type out a prayer in an email. Write out a prayer in a letter.
  “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” — James 5:16
  Pray! God knows. God hears. God answers. God is faithful.

These are a few ideas for staying connected in your devotional time. If you would like to add others to our list, just add a comment to this posting. We would love to hear from you.

Praying the Scriptures for your spouse is another way in which you can lift each other up in prayer to the Lord:

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach ____(insert your names), so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give (us) a spirit of unity. . .as (we) follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth (we) may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Amen.

Questions to share:

1. Can you understand how the Holy Spirit, speaking through Scripture, can keep you unified during this time apart? How?

2. Do you draw strength from just knowing that someone is praying for you? How?