The Couple That Prays Together …

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Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. — James 4:8a

“A Gallup Poll that was done in 1997 by the National Association of Marriage Enhancement in Phoenix, Arizona, showed the divorce rate among couples who pray together regularly is 1 out of 1,152. That’s a divorce rate of less than one percent.” Greg and Erin Smalley

My wife and I had been in full-time ministry for five years. Our prayer life was active. But most of our prayers were for other people. After hearing a challenge from Dennis Rainey of FamilyLife, we began praying with each other every morning. If I had to leave early, I would call my wife and we would pray. One minute—two minutes—for each other—submitting ourselves to God for the day. It was humbling. In the beginning, I was surprised how many times I needed to apologize for something that had happened in the last 24 hours. I couldn’t sincerely pray for her if there was anything going on . . . it forced me to repentance.

After a couple of months, I asked my wife how our praying together had impacted her. This is what she wrote:

When my husband and I pray together I feel protected—from the forces and desires within and the outside pressures of the world and the enemy. Prayer sets the priority and the vision for the day . . . I know that I am not alone, that my husband and I are on the same team working toward the same end of living this day in the atmosphere of God’s grace and mercy. I feel loved and cared for when he prays honestly concerning the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of the kids. I often feel humbled and vulnerable when we pray about personal struggles—yet comforted, ‘wrapped-up’, knowing that my Father who sees and knows all, who has the infinite resources to counsel and give wisdom, fills us with His power to love deeply and bear one another’s burdens. I feel like we have purpose beyond ourselves, beyond the here and now as we pray for others . . . I feel expectant wondering what the LORD will do with THIS DAY that He has made and given to us . . .

Can you believe it? I was blown away—that small step toward leading my wife spiritually had that depth of impact on her soul. Is it worth two minutes a day to make your wife feel like that? Thank You, Lord!

Because of all of the travel I am committed to, we spend days and weeks apart. That is not like a deployment, but certainly the premise—the truth—of this discipline of prayer as a couple holds whether you are facing the day together or many time zones apart. If you have more time—and if you can—either by email or text or phone—ask “how can I pray for you today?” Then connect your hearts, across the miles, in a simple prayer.

When I heard Dennis Rainey’s challenge to pray together as a couple, I also heard him say this: “I believe that if every Christian couple would pray together regularly, our nation would experience a spiritual renewal of historical proportions, including a dramatic drop in the Christian community’s divorce rate. And when the divorce rate drops within the church, we will see a spiritual and moral awakening in America. . . When you pray together, you multiply your joys, divide your sorrows, add to your experiences with God together, and help subtract your haunting past from your life. . . Many people are hesitant to start praying with their spouses. If this is the case, try saying this prayer:  ‘Lord, teach me how to pray with my spouse. I’m afraid.’”

Military couples are the most courageous people I know. Let me encourage you today—be courageous and begin a new routine of praying together every day. God will give you victory in your marriage.

Work Cited:

Rainey, Dennis, “The Secret to a Lasting Marriage” on www.familylife.com, 2001.

Questions to Share:

1. When you pray, what do you usually pray for?

2. Take the time to pray for or with your spouse the next time you communicate. If you need to, ask them first “How can I pray for you today?” Then do it—in a simple one minute prayer to our Father who loves us so much.