Forgiveness is such a counter-intuitive response to someone who does something wrong to us.It really doesn’t make any obvious sense to let people who offend us get away with it. What does seem to make sense is harboring our offense, letting it grow into bitterness and then releasing it as revenge.Many of us imagine Hollywood-like revenge scenarios. In our imaginings we are calm and cool and deliver a long, moving and convincing speech to someone who is undeniably a villain.We see a look of recognition in their eyes as they fall to our stinging, yet completely justifiable blows. They realize that we are completely right and that they are getting their just desserts . . . with extra syrup. Oh how Satan has us fooled!

Men can’t be romantic all of the time. Even women will eventually run out of romantic energy--we just don’t see that as often, as they tend to always outlast men. In the military, while not impossible during a deployment, romance is much trickier. So does that mean there is less love? Of course not. So if constant romance is not love, and loving each other is critical to maintaining a healthy relationship, what do we have to do?

Forgiveness is such a counter-intuitive response to someone who does something wrong to us.It really doesn’t make any obvious sense to let people who offend us get away with it. What does seem to make sense is harboring our offense, letting it grow into bitterness and then releasing it as revenge.Many of us imagine Hollywood-like revenge scenarios. In our imaginings we are calm and cool and deliver a long, moving and convincing speech to someone who is undeniably a villain.We see a look of recognition in their eyes as they fall to our stinging, yet completely justifiable blows. They realize that we are completely right and that they are getting their just desserts . . . with extra syrup. Oh how Satan has us fooled!

We know a lot about respect in the military. We give each other honor out of respect for things military personnel do, rank that is held, and courage and leadership we see displayed. We wear medals that our superiors bestow on us to honor our contribution. We know about honor and respect and we like it when we get it. Why then is it sometimes so hard for us to apply this knowledge at home?

Forgiveness is such a counter-intuitive response to someone who does something wrong to us.It really doesn’t make any obvious sense to let people who offend us get away with it. What does seem to make sense is harboring our offense, letting it grow into bitterness and then releasing it as revenge.Many of us imagine Hollywood-like revenge scenarios. In our imaginings we are calm and cool and deliver a long, moving and convincing speech to someone who is undeniably a villain.We see a look of recognition in their eyes as they fall to our stinging, yet completely justifiable blows. They realize that we are completely right and that they are getting their just desserts . . . with extra syrup. Oh how Satan has us fooled!

Disagreements are a natural part of marriage. We should always try to resolve them gently and quickly, but it is also very human of us to let things go on for longer than they should. And if we leave it too long, the strong desire to blame the other person for all our problems can become a habit–and then a constant part of our relationship. This entrenched and hostile blaming is bitterness.