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How to Pray for Your Military Man

The Bible tells us that “The prayer of a righteous man [or woman] is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). So what are you praying for? Most, if not all of us, pray for our husbands. But do you know exactly how to pray for your military man’s unique needs? I asked Chaplain Scott Koeman, when in Afghanistan, for some specific things we can be praying for. Here is the insightful list he shared with me:

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Affairs of the Heart

A woman in our military unit had been corresponding with her old boyfriend for months, unbeknownst to her husband (but shared with the other wives), emailing and instant messaging late into the night. She was convinced she would be happier if she filed for divorce, hoped for the best for her children, and returned to the arms of the one she did not marry. While the geographical distance prevented her from having a physical relationship with this man, she was clearly in an emotional affair.

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Branded

My husband’s title had just branded me for the duration of my time in this tiny town in Alaska. Perhaps I should have expected it, but I was frustrated. I wanted to be identified for who I was, not for what my husband did for a living. And then I realized something else: instead of seeking to declare my identity as an individual, I really should have been more concerned with staking my identity in Christ. What truly matters is who I am—who we are—in Christ.

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Conquering Resentment

Several military wives, myself included, had crammed into an apartment living room for a book club meeting. As we chatted between bites of crackers and cheese, our conversation veered away from the book of the month when the hostess unleashed a bitter monologue concerning her husband’s frequent absences at sea and punctuated it with a booming, “I did not sign up to be a single parent!” With one toddler and another baby due soon, this woman was clearly frazzled. Unfortunately, her resentment over having to be solo spilled out of her like a toxin and threatened to poison the evening.

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Counter-Fear Tactics

As Sonja held down the fort while her husband Jason was deployed, she quickly saw the need to go on the offensive against spirits of fear, worry, resentment, anger and bitterness. Instead of waiting for discouragement to invade and occupy her home, she countered it at every turn by wielding the Sword of Truth: God’s Word.

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Affairs of the Heart

A woman in our military unit had been corresponding with her old boyfriend for months, unbeknownst to her husband (but shared with the other wives), emailing and instant messaging late into the night. She was convinced she would be happier if she filed for divorce, hoped for the best for her children, and returned to the arms of the one she did not marry. While the geographical distance prevented her from having a physical relationship with this man, she was clearly in an emotional affair.

Read more

Counter-Fear Tactics

As Sonja held down the fort while her husband Jason was deployed, she quickly saw the need to go on the offensive against spirits of fear, worry, resentment, anger and bitterness. Instead of waiting for discouragement to invade and occupy her home, she countered it at every turn by wielding the Sword of Truth: God’s Word.

Read more

Happily Ever After?

In just about every artistic rendering of a soldier’s homecoming, be it a song, a movie or a television commercial, we are left with an emotional high that tells us all is well again. But if military wives assume their reunion with their husbands is a fairytale ending to their separation, disappointment is almost sure to set in. “I have seen way too many military wives build up a fantasy in their minds about what life will be like once their husbands are home—and then be destroyed when this fantasy was not a reality,” says National Guard wife.

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