No doubt you associate March 17th each year as St. Patrick’s Day, as I do. For as long as I can remember, the date set aside to celebrate St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, has been a day dedicated to the wearing of green, to decorating with leprechauns and shamrocks, and to holding parades in locations where many Irish have settled. But little did I know that March 17th is also a holiday because of a military victory.
Have you ever felt “sick at soul"? Perhaps you could characterize this feeling as frustration over your plans being turned upside-down, or uncertainty over where things are leading, or losing control over everything that is happening in your life, or worry over finances, or concern over how you are going to make it through deployment without your spouse? Sound familiar?
You would think after writing and editing Excellent or Praiseworthy since 2007, that I would have read, heard or thought about everything to be learned from Philippians 4:8 ... But in 2014, I was challenged by teaching I had never considered. That is taking Philippians 4:8 into one of the most normal, everyday struggles of marriage—conflict between husband and wife.
In the movie Fireproof, Day 23 of The Love Dare really gets Caleb’s attention. In this particular day’s reading, the authors examine the topic of threats ... In reading Day 23’s pages of warnings and countermeasures, you will find very similar writing—although written thousands of years ago by King David—in Psalm 101. The similarities between the two chapters, one modern and one ancient, are striking.
One of my favorite "marriage" books is called The Marriage Miracle: How Soft Hearts Can Make a Couple Strong, by Bob & Cheryl Moeller. I can only share a small portion in this writing, but there are priceless nuggets in this book—from the Bible—which would cause us to perhaps re-think what happens when a husband and wife dare to “give up,” or grow cold towards each other. And what I found especially interesting in this publication was that marriage was not the only application of the book’s principles . . . any relationship is subject to one or the other becoming hard-hearted. So in a broader context, this book zeroes in on truth for us all. Having problems with relatives? with co-workers? with neighbors? maybe even fellow church members? We are all subject to becoming hard-hearted, even cynical, towards others, married or not.
He’s getting ready to leave for Afghanistan—so this young couple decided to move their wedding date up to accommodate the deployment status. They made it an intimate family ceremony which reminded me of our EorP posting: “WWII and Beyond—A Story of Commitment.” In that article we read about Eugene and Louise who, seventy years ago, got married under similar circumstances. Two days later Eugene left for 3½ years of front-line duty in Germany before returning home in 1945. In 2011 this new young couple seems just as committed and in love.
What is God training you for during this deployment? Does it feel like loneliness and frustration? Does it feel like so much “wax on, wax off”(mission preparations?). . . . . "sand the floor” (take care of the kids?). . . . “up, down” (pay the bills?). . . . “side to side” (month after month?). . . .and in the midst of all of that you cannot see what God is doing? Is it only when it is over that you can look back and see how God is putting it all together—and you have learned patience, grace, wisdom, discernment, perspective, endurance, self-control, perhaps forgiveness . . . in other words, character?
Growing up in Minnesota in the 1950s, February always meant two days off from school because of Abraham Lincoln’s birthday on February 12th and the celebration of George Washington’s birthday on February 22nd. But sometime in the late 1960s or early 1970s dates shifted—and what I had experienced as two “for-sure” days off became one “iffy” day off on a Monday—to celebrate “Presidents’ Day.” But there is an interesting aspect of these two presidents that our history books typically miss--the role of their wives and marriages in their leadership and presidencies.
“I’ve given up hope for our marriage! This Bible study is my last resort. I’m signing us up and we’ll be there at the Chapel for the meeting, but if this doesn’t work—I’m outta’ here!” I heard these words of despair over the telephone from a military wife several years ago. “No pressure,” I thought. Fortunately, it wasn’t up to my husband and I who facilitated the HomeBuilders Bible study—it was up to God.
There is a story told about “two dogs” which battle within us. Some say it’s an Indian legend . . . some say it’s an old fable told long ago . . . but the story makes the rounds, and also makes a lot of sense. As the story goes, when a youngster comes to the old sage leader and asks why he feels so angry at unfair treatment, the older one explains, “It is as if there are two dogs inside of you. One is always good, peaceful, and loyal.