Several years ago my husband and I closely watched two weddings—one on TV and the other through photos on Facebook. One, a royal wedding, costing millions of dollars and the other probably less than $200. Both couples deeply in love and truly committed to each other; both weddings in churches; both military couples with obligations to duty; both brides beautiful and both grooms handsome; both families excited and happy for the couples.

Have you seen those billboards across America which are black with white lettering—with “messages” from God? Have you seen, “We Need to Talk . . . . God”? Or “Loved the Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage . . . . God”? Or “Need Directions? . . . . God”? The sponsor of these billboards is apparently an anonymous client, but whomever it is has put truth on display which we can all clearly understand. Or do we understand?

In the last pages of "What Did You Expect??" Paul David Tripp summarizes his writing with this: “What has this book been about? It has been a detailed description of the daily work of love that must be done with commitment and joy when a flawed person is married to a flawed person and they are living in a fallen world." Did you catch that—“Daily work ..." So how do you do that under the challenge of deployment?

Men can’t be romantic all of the time. Even women will eventually run out of romantic energy--we just don’t see that as often, as they tend to always outlast men. In the military, while not impossible during a deployment, romance is much trickier. So does that mean there is less love? Of course not. So if constant romance is not love, and loving each other is critical to maintaining a healthy relationship, what do we have to do?

Covenant. Commitment. These are words we share in the Christian church, and in the Christian marriage. And sometimes, as a time of remembrance and renewal, couples will recite their wedding vows again to each other . . . as a sign that “what was true then is still true now.” Perhaps even more so.

I’ve been working on this writing for the last nine years. And it’s not done yet. I wanted to put down in writing, on “cyber-paper,” what I have lived and observed for most of my adult life. It’s what I love about our military . . . the people, the mission, the life. The truth is . . . as members of the United States military, people are watching you.

You would think after writing and editing Excellent or Praiseworthy since 2007, that I would have read, heard or thought about everything to be learned from Philippians 4:8 ... But in 2014, I was challenged by teaching I had never considered. That is taking Philippians 4:8 into one of the most normal, everyday struggles of marriage—conflict between husband and wife.

There are those couples who are familiar with deployments and can be vast sources of help in warning others of the dangers to the health of a marriage which can occur when we don’t take seriously the special challenges of living separately due to military orders. They have safely navigated the twists and turns, and know the unique conditions under which a couple needs to take particular caution. Do you know some of these couples? Look around. . . ask around. . .pray to meet this couple who has lived victoriously in spite of the hazards. They have much wisdom to share.

It was September 7th. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that date because it was the day before my husband was to be deployed to the Middle East. At the time, I had a 2-year-old daughter and a 3-month-old son who were really going to miss their daddy. And I already felt lost thinking about the impending separation from my one true companion in life. It was both the best and worst of days.

We had many “hellos” and “good-byes” during our military days—with plenty of TDYs, deployments, training, exercises, and the Vietnam War. The “good-byes” were always difficult (understatement) . . . and the “hellos” were always glorious. Whether we were parting for a day, a week, a month or a year I always tried to stick by the training I got from that one book and that one wives’ meeting.