Bob and Cheryl Moeller do a great job of ministering and training singles—in the disciplines of the faith, in their spiritual walk as singles, and in their lives of dating and preparation for marriage. Recently on their website, ForKeepsMinistries.com, Bob included his list of “Ten Things I Did Right, Ten Things I Did Wrong” from his own season of singleness, with the Scriptures which inspired his reflections:
Recently, I asked Chaplain Koeman’s wife Benita, founder of OperationWeAreHere.com, to provide me with a similar list of prayer requests that would apply to the spouse of a deployed military member. If you are that spouse of a deployed husband, you may not think you need to read this list of prayer requests yourself– but wait! Next time someone asks you how they can pray for you, share this list with them; it’s quick and easy. Better yet, print out both lists of prayer requests (his and hers, so to speak) and see if your church will create an insert to put in the bulletin so the congregation knows how to support you both in prayer.
Coming from living overseas to stateside proved a challenge with small children, but they considered themselves doing pretty well under the stress. Jason went on ahead and moved them into their new quarters while Melinda visited her mom and dad with the kids. You would think that would work out well . . .but tiredness, more separation, and cranky children all added up for an explosion of emotions a few days after Melinda rejoined Jason in their new (well, not so new and not so nice) quarters. A complaint here, a criticism there, a little nagging, physical exhaustion, not to mention the regular reintegration issues that crop up and . . . Wham!!—Jason made a fist and punched their bedroom door leaving a gaping hole . . .
As Sonja held down the fort while her husband Jason was deployed, she quickly saw the need to go on the offensive against spirits of fear, worry, resentment, anger and bitterness. Instead of waiting for discouragement to invade and occupy her home, she countered it at every turn by wielding the Sword of Truth: God’s Word. Her tactic was simple: she printed Scripture verses off her computer and stuck them all around her house with Scotch tape so God’s Word would constantly be before her eyes and the eyes of her children.
Reunions need to begin the moment a spouse leaves for a deployment. As the deployed member prepares to leave, every day becomes one of anticipation of coming together again. Connection with your spouse before and during a deployment prepares your hearts for a harmonious reunion at the end of separation. As a couple you must connect on three levels: mind, heart and spirit/soul. This is known as three-part harmony.
Where's our next assignment? Where do we go next—or do we get out? Ever asked those questions? Of course . . . it's part of being in the military. We seem to routinely assess our current assignments, and then decide what the options are for our next move. Of course filling out a "dream sheet" can bring out negativity in all of us—with the cynical attitude that we will NOT get what we put down as first, or even last, choice!
We met with them over lunch—such an impressive couple. He returned two months ago from a year’s deployment, and we wanted to hear how they were adjusting. We also wanted to hear what God had taught them in that year apart, because God is always at work. We knew what they had to share would be something we could pass along to others—they are just like that.
Stashed away in my “archives” was a letter printed in our overseas base magazine, dated April, 1988. I do not know who wrote it, but I saved it because it expressed heartfelt appreciation from one beginning a military career to one nearing the end in a way that was particularly relevant in our military culture. "Dear Commander’s Wife, . . ."
Year after year I saw my mother putting a copy of a “Prayer for a Bride and Groom” into an envelope and sending it as a wedding gift to some young couple whom she knew. I didn’t pay much attention. I knew it was a special prayer she had found in a magazine years ago, and had made many copies so as to be ready to send it when she would get a wedding invitation. Then it was time for my own children to get married, and out came the copy of the prayer as her gift. This time I paid attention.
When I see an article on marriage, I automatically think “what does this say to a military marriage?” Ministry to military has wired me this way—thankfully. So when I read the article on FamilyLife.com entitled “5 Biggest Little Ways to Improve Your Marriage” I naturally went to “what does this say to a military marriage?”