Stashed away in my “archives” was a letter printed in our overseas base magazine, dated April, 1988. I do not know who wrote it, but I saved it because it expressed heartfelt appreciation from one beginning a military career to one nearing the end in a way that was particularly relevant in our military culture. "Dear Commander’s Wife, . . ."
Some people know him as Chuck Swindoll, others as Charles Swindoll. But whichever name is more familiar to you, he’s a favorite. After pastoring a church in southern California for years, he returned to his native Texas and was president of Dallas Theological Seminary before founding Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco in 1998. But even before all of that he was a Marine. It’s his Marine stories that are always my favorite.
How do you stay connected when you are miles apart? For a long time? We all have heard that staying connected during deployment is what keeps a marriage thriving. But how, exactly, do you do that? Here are six time-tested ideas for you to consider in order to stay connected while you are geographically separated. These are such proven methods that your marriage will actually grow closer than ever!
What kind of woman am I, to choose such a demanding profession during my childbearing years? How will my choice to stay in the Army for a few more years affect my relationship with my daughter, and with my husband? Is this really the kind of work I was born to do long-term, or is this a detour on the road to my true vocation? I do not have bulletproof answers for these questions, and there are better women than I who have chosen either to be professional Soldiers or to be homemakers. What I do know definitively is that the Army has made me a better mother in some tangible ways:
Because of all of the travel I am committed to, we spend days and weeks apart. That is not like a deployment, but certainly the premise—the truth—of this discipline of prayer as a couple holds whether you are facing the day together or many time zones apart. If you have more time—and if you can—either by email or text or phone—ask “how can I pray for you today?” Then connect your hearts, across the miles, in a simple prayer.
We received a text recently from friends who are well-known marriage conference speakers, wanting help with an upcoming talk to a group which will include Marines. They specifically wanted to know how we advise military couples on sexual intimacy, given that much of their time is spent geographically separated because of deployment.
Excellent or Praiseworthy is posted on Monday and Thursday nights. “ . . . . but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” — Romans 5:4 What would happen…
It’s unusual for a wife to speak at her husband’s military retirement ceremony. More “normal” is for him to give her a gift—maybe a bouquet of roses—and then speak about her sacrifices as a military wife. Then she usually receives a commendation—pictures are made with her—and much applause is given to her, as it should. So when I heard about this poem, recently included in the printed retirement program of a dear friend, I was impressed and thought,
She was a strong woman. Perhaps that came from being the oldest of seven—no doubt a rowdy bunch. Perhaps it came from growing up during The Great Depression and having to work hard at home. Perhaps it came from having two pretty strict parents who expected a lot from their kids. She was strong even in the days when it wasn’t the “norm” to be a strong woman.
I remember sitting on the front porch of our new quarters –you know, the “townhouses” crammed side-by-side around a parking lot. Kids everywhere. I remember speaking the words, “What in the world am I doing here?” and hoping no one heard me (yea, right—neighbors were in ear-shot of everything!).