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A Valentine Message–“Seven Ropes to Tie Two Boats”

It is not unusual to discover magazines and newspapers with advice for romance and marriage-building in anticipation of Valentine’s Day. Lately I have been pleased to notice how this secular advice has lined up with advice shared in Christian communities. That’s because it works! I recently read a newspaper article espousing marriage-enriching habits of holding hands, having regular date nights, going to bed at the same time . . . and thought, “That’s exactly what Jim and Barbara would advise!” Jim and Barbara Grunseth have been teaching and counseling couples for years. Their advice is sound, biblical, and practical. So I decided to get out my dog-eared and well-worn copy of one of their books, Remember the Rowboats: Anchor your Marriage to Christ, to share some of their timeless advice. You won’t find these points in newsstand copy, but you will find them encouraging and helpful—and true!

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Is God Trustworthy?

On September 11, 2001, Navy wife Deshua Joyce tried to think positively when she heard the news that a plane had crashed into the Pentagon, where her husband worked. She thought, “What are the chances that his office was hit?” Still, her heart was heavy with concern for her husband Tom and all others at the Pentagon.

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A Time to Weep

My husband and I saw the movie “Marley and Me” the other day. It’s the story of a family, centered around their dog. So you can guess the beginning of the story—they get the dog. And no doubt you can guess the end of the story. What counted was everything in the middle. Anyway, I couldn’t quit crying. It wasn’t the hard boo-hoo sobs that wrack your body, but the tears that start rolling down your face and just won’t quit—no matter what you tell yourself in the darkness of the movie theater. It’s been two years since my husband returned from his second deployment. Or as we say—eighteen months since he mentally got back. Fifteen of those months were spent with many personnel pressures compounded by under-manning due to ongoing deployments. It was tough (understatement). So, what did all that have to do with the movie? It dawned on me that so often in the military we don’t take the necessary time to grieve. We live intensely; we adapt quickly; we check off the blocks. Move to Ft. Riley, know anyone there? Know the housing. How about schools? Paint inside or not? Send husband to war. Pray he comes home. Cry with friend whose husband didn’t. Help her move. Get orders. Move again.

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Hearing Voices

Some of the biggest mistakes I have made were because I followed bad advice. I listened to the wrong “voices.” I thought that following current cultural trends was more important than following age-old wisdom. I thought that everyone’s motives were pure and that they knew what was best for me. I thought I could trust anyone with experience, even if that experience had led them into failure. I thought that many college degrees made a person an expert. I thought that an older generation couldn’t possibly relate to my contemporary situations. I thought that no one could possibly understand what I was going through unless they had “walked a mile in my shoes.” I thought that clichés like, “if it feels good, do it”. . . and “I’m okay, you’re okay” . . . and “there’s no such thing as black and white—everything is gray,” were true statements on which to base major decisions. And in a very contradictory way, I thought there was no such thing as truth—that humanism and situational ethics ruled the day. I was wrong, and many others with me. And there are consequences to bad choices.

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Who Are You With?

When I was in Afghanistan I took a couple of long drives to other camps and was always wary of what could happen on those drives. We did a lot of preparation to make sure the risks were reduced to a minimum. One time I had a forward air controller with me, someone who could call for help from the Air Force if we needed it. It was amazing how much more relaxed I was knowing that if someone did give us trouble, some serious firepower would turn up quickly in order to help us out. That is why I like Psalm 93 so much — it reminds me that we have some serious firepower backing us up all the time.

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“I Need to Be Reminded”

We gathered for Bible study, but our friend's face was downcast . . . a sure sign that his soul was, too. We knew he was dealing with marital problems, but there was also the pressure of an impending deployment. All of this weighing on his heart, his future—his now. It’s hard to know what to say sometimes—most of the time, really. So I said something scriptural that I don’t even remember, then added something like “God knows what you are going through and He is with you”. I followed the simple truth with a smile, and then closed with “but you already know that.” I guess I expected my smile to be returned with his smile—an understanding between us that I was just trying to do my best to help, but failing. But that’s not what happened. Instead he said with emphasis, “I do already know that. But I need to be reminded. Thank you.” I got the distinct impression that he really meant it.

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Be Still and Know

What if, in the midst of whatever size storm you are in, God is calling you to pause, be still and know He is God? In my prayer time back in 2004, just after I learned of my husband’s adultery, there were so many opportunities to make rash decisions. In many of our conversations, it seemed the easy and culturally acceptable course of action would be to say “I’m done” and file for divorce. I thank God for the women in my life who encouraged me with Psalm 46:10. Be still and know that I am God… -Psalm 46:10

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Thrive, not just Survive!

It was at Ft. Hood that we first heard the phrase, “I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive!” A young Army wife was expressing her determination that, no matter what the circumstances, she was going to make the best of the deployment which she and her husband were facing (again). Seated around the table were others who agreed with her—they were tired of being categorized in a role of “victim” and were wanting to show the world what good stuff Army wives are made of! It was impressive. . . . a meeting I don’t think I will ever forget.

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Top Ten Predictions of 2019

I have several friends who email me “forwards.” Perhaps you do, too. I received this one back a few years ago--and I like to return to it, this time for 2019. The ten predictions are from the forwarded email (author unknown). . . . .and the additional comments are from Scripture, and my heart. Top 10 Predictions for 2019: 1. “The Bible will still have all the answers.”

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Christmas –“A Military Maneuver”

Pastor Tommy Nelson, of Denton Bible Church in Texas, gave a sermon to his church for Christmas, 1988, entitled “Jesus’ View of Christmas.” The text for this powerful sermon was an unlikely one . . . Luke 11:21-26. Those verses are several chapters away from the traditional Christmas story which we all know and love, Luke 2:1-20: “And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed . . . “ I was intrigued. How could verses about Jesus and Satan give us a message for Christmas?

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