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Handling the “What Ifs”

A friend of mine recently asked me how I keep my mind from wandering to the what-ifs during deployments. Her husband is a helicopter pilot beginning his first deployment. She had heard about a fatal overseas helicopter crash on the news and, though knowing her husband wasn’t involved, she wanted some advice on how to deal with the “It could have been him” or the “What would I do without him” thoughts that infiltrate a military wife’s mind when her husband is deployed.

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Do The Math – A Lesson on Worry

In thinking about my all-time favorite messages of Pastor Chuck Swindoll’s, I have come to the conclusion that his teaching on “worry” is probably the best I had ever heard on that sticky subject. And it has stuck with me through the years. . . .at least in my memory if not in my actions. According to my study, this message was first preached in 1990 and entitled "Christ at the Crossroad of Anxiety." I would like to share what I transcribed from the recording of that timely sermon, as perhaps there is something in it which would help you in these days of deployment anxiety.

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To Be Light in a Dark Place

We gather with military couples every Saturday night for dinner and Bible study. And at the end of our meeting time we take prayer requests—and then pray. But on this particular Saturday night, a certain prayer request brought some deep discussion. One of our young military men voiced discouragement over the atmosphere in his workplace on board ship. There was crudeness—to put it mildly. His desire was to be “light in a dark place”. But, in this current culture, what does that really mean for a Christian serving in today’s military?

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“Where can I flee from Your presence?”–Help for deployment

"That's a great idea--I would have never thought of that!" A young Army wife shared with me something she had done to help prepare her family for her husband's upcoming deployment. Before her husband left for Iraq she had taken a picture of him with their children in each room of the house, and then framed them for displaying. The house was filled with Dad’s presence—reminders of times when they were together. This wife knew that in the days and months ahead there would be moments when both she and the kids would wonder--is he really real? He feels so far away--he is so far away! But the pictures were there to bring back the memories of his presence in their everyday lives.

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Soul Hope

Have you ever felt “sick at soul"? Perhaps you could characterize this feeling as frustration over your plans being turned upside-down, or uncertainty over where things are leading, or losing control over everything that is happening in your life, or worry over finances, or concern over how you are going to make it through deployment without your spouse? Sound familiar?

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Chap’s Perspectives from the Sea

The Strait of Gibraltar is a significant marker in our sea journey. To sailors of old, it was the last marker of the known world. To the strategist, Gibraltar represents a rock or fortress that will not move when all else is a mess. To the insurance company Prudential, it spawned a slogan “Like a rock.” To the psalmist, the rock represents the Lord as a fortress and deliverer from whom faith can be launched, sustained, and secured.

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How Not to Help

I am always on the lookout for good marital “helps”—especially concerning military marriages. The challenges of military life are so many and the stresses so high we need to be on high alert concerning the state of our own marriage and those of our friends. I especially appreciate articles which give advice to help friends help friends. You know—you want to help others with troubled marriages but just don’t know how . . . and are especially fearful of “making things worse.” It’s rare to find such help.

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Sowing Seeds of Truth

Some people know him as Chuck Swindoll, others as Charles Swindoll. But whichever name is more familiar to you, he’s a favorite. After pastoring a church in southern California for years, he returned to his native Texas and was president of Dallas Theological Seminary before founding Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco in 1998. But even before all of that he was a Marine. It’s his Marine stories that are always my favorite.

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Assigned For a Reason, For a Season

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When a military service member, single or married, arrives at your church, you must know that they are there for a reason. . . . .and they are there for a season. God sent them to you for His purpose—to love them and build into them a greater love for God as revealed in His holy word. But they are only there for a period of time—and sometimes they will go directly from your fellowship to a combat tour overseas. What a great opportunity to teach, mentor, prepare, train, and encourage! If we, as an individual or a church (or chapel) don’t see that, we need to look more closely.

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Through It All

It is a beautiful thing to see a couple get through something that challenges them in every area of their lives (like a deployment)—and because of faith they do not give up. When the deployment is over, they can look back over the months of discouragement/loneliness/fear and say with confidence, “My God took me through this.” And what if things did not go easily—struggles with children/finances/ temptations/health?

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