When Surrender is not a Dirty Word

“…At one time you surrendered yourselves entirely as slaves to impurity and wickedness for wicked purposes. In the same way you must now surrender yourselves entirely as slaves of righteousness for holy purposes…”
— Romans 6:19

Surrender is a dirty word in most military circles. We hope we never have to surrender, and yet history tells us that there have been rare times when surrender is necessary. Necessary to preserve lives, necessary to be able to fight another day, but still not a position we ever want to be in. Would it surprise you to know that God wants us to make surrender a daily habit?

Surrendering is when you hand over control to someone or something else. I think of the fall of Singapore in World War II when thousands of allied soldiers surrendered to the advancing enemy forces. Those soldiers handed over control to the enemy and became subject to their will — not totally as we read of acts of resistance, but it was almost absolute surrender. This led to many abuses, atrocities and deaths of allied service personnel. No wonder we don’t like the idea of surrendering. In some modern conflicts the thought of surrender sends shudders down our spines as we see what handing over control to a terrorist can lead to. In those circumstances I would rather fight till there is nothing left. In this context, surrender is definitely a dirty word.

Even back at home surrendering to someone else is an uncomfortable thought. I like to control my environment, making sure that I have room to maneuver. I like to make my own decisions. So why did I join the Army, you ask? I guess I realized at some time that there are certain circumstances where limited surrender is to my benefit. Within my marriage, for example, there are times when I surrender to my wife, and times she surrenders to me. This has worked out to our benefit as she has guided me away from things that would not have been so good. So I have become more comfortable with surrendering to her as I have come to trust her more and more. I highly recommend some mutual surrendering in your marriage.

I have also discovered that there is Someone I can totally trust without reservation, and therefore I can totally surrender. That would be God. Whether I like the thought or not, before I handed my life over to Christ, I was totally surrendered to my sinful nature. What is interesting about this is that God is really the only one who can force a total surrender of mind, body and soul, and yet He doesn’t. He wants us to surrender. . . but wants it to be voluntary. So when Paul says that “In the same way you must now surrender yourselves entirely as slaves of righteousness for holy purposes…”, it’s not so much an order as an impassioned plea—for our own sakes, not the least of which to strengthen our marriages and families.

I have carried into my marriage all sorts of baggage and issues. On the days when I surrender only to myself — my frustrations, self-pity, anger, selfish desires — things don’t go so well and I can see my actions or inaction affecting my wife and children. I see my children mimicking my bad attitudes or selfish actions and I don’t like what I see. I see my wife become sad, frustrated, or insecure. I have realized that I don’t really like myself or the effect I have on my family when I don’t surrender to God. I have also learned that when I am away from my family, for training or deployments, it is equally important to surrender to God. If I don’t, it becomes all too easy to pick up damaging attitudes or habits that can cause pain if I carry them back into my home. It turns out that every day I surrender to someone. If I have to choose between myself or God, I choose God because I can trust Him more than I can trust myself.

I can trust God for a lot of reasons, but the key one for me is that God allowed His only Son, whom He loved and was part of Him, to die an agonizing death for my sake. If another human being told me that they wanted me to surrender to them for my own good, I’d want some proof that they really cared about me. God has done more than enough in that one sacrificial act of Jesus dying in my place to pay the penalty for my sin to demonstrate that He has my best interests at heart.

In spite of that knowledge, there is something inside of me that makes me resistant to fully surrendering to God. I have to overcome my human nature on a daily basis in order to keep waving my white flag with my hands held high. On the upside, every day that I give up again, I see God doing more in my life, my marriage and my family and the desire to keep surrendering strengthens. It’s the strangest thing to be in the military and feel good about surrendering, but that’s how it is. I can totally recommend surrendering to God.

Questions to Share:

1. When you are not surrendering to God, who or what are you surrendering to and what is the effect?

2. Who can you trust more with control of your life, marriage and family — an omnipresent, all-powerful, loving God or a flawed human being? (This is a trick question).

3. How do you think your life will change if you surrender completely to God? Why not ask the Holy Spirit to help you do just that? Then do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day…