Family Values

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Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. — Deuteronomy 6:5-7

One of the joys of traveling and meeting with military families is hearing the stories of how they are raising their children during these tumultuous times. Many of our families are being very intentional—making sure that their Christian faith is lived out as a priority no matter the demands of military duty. It is very encouraging, and humbling, to see this current generation of service members and their spouses being so diligent to teach the ways of the Lord to their children:

“. . . .we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, His power, and the wonders He has done.” — Psalm 78:4

“I will sing of the LORD’S great love forever; with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations.” — Psalm 89:1

“One generation will commend Your works to another; they will tell of Your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of Your majesty, and I will meditate on Your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of Your awesome works, and I will proclaim Your great deeds. They will celebrate Your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of Your righteousness.” — Psalm 145:7

We recently had the privilege of being in the home of one such Navy family. On the wall of their entryway they had the words from Joshua 24:15: “But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Not just words stenciled on a wall, these were personal, paternal and purposeful words for life in that loving home in Newport.

Most impressive was the positive atmosphere of instruction for the three, soon to be four, little ones. The couple shared with us a helpful resource which has been instrumental in the training of their children. It is called “Our Twenty-Four Family Ways,” written by Clay Clarkson of Whole Heart Ministries (www.wholeheart.org).

What we particularly liked about this approach to biblical discipleship within the home was how the principles—the “Family Ways”—were all stated in the affirmative. Our friends testified to the success of this in the hearts of their growing children. Each morning they repeat the principle for the day, and then on the remaining days of the month they pick ways which need to be emphasized (for one reason or another).

Here is the basic outline which this family shared with us:

Concerning AUTHORITIES in our family:
1. We love and obey our Lord, Jesus Christ, with wholehearted devotion.
2. We read the Bible and pray to God every day with an open heart.
3. We honor and obey our parents in the Lord with a respectful attitude.
4. We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit.

Concerning RELATIONSHIPS in our family:
5. We love one another, treating others with kindness, gentleness and respect.
6. We serve one another, humbly thinking of the needs of others first.
7. We encourage one another, using only words that build up and bless others.
8. We forgive one another, covering an offense with love when wronged or hurt.

Concerning POSSESSIONS in our family:
9. We are thankful to God for what we have, whether it is a little or a lot.
10. We are content with what we have, not coveting what others have.
11. We are generous with what we have, sharing freely with others.
12. We take care of what we have, using it wisely and responsibly.

Concerning WORK in our family:
13. We are diligent to complete a task promptly and thoroughly when asked.
14. We take initiative to do all our own work without needing to be told.
15. We work with a cooperative spirit, freely giving and receiving help.
16. We take personal responsibility to keep our home neat and clean at all times.

Concerning ATTITUDES in our family:
17. We choose to be joyful, even when we feel like complaining.
18. We choose to be peacemakers, even when we feel like arguing.
19. We choose to be patient, even when we feel like getting our own way.
20. We choose to be gracious, even when we don’t feel like it.

Concerning CHOICES in our family:
21. We do what we know is right, regardless what others do or say.
22. We ask before we act when we do not know what is right to do.
23. We exercise self-control at all times and in every kind of situation.
24. We always tell the truth and do not practice deceitfulness of any kind.

Far from being a home governed by “dos” and “don’ts,” these principles have allowed this family to always concentrate on the joy of the Lord in obedience and fruitful living. Because of the repetition—one value a day—the children have memorized, and taken to heart, what they have learned . . . . which has allowed for knowledge and understanding at a very young age.

Perfect? No. Peaceful? Yes.

We know of many such military families who are displaying victory in their lives, even during the turmoil of war. Because of loving leadership, their homes are examples of Christ-likeness. . . . bringing light into dark places where the operations tempo can produce hopelessness. We see, as a result of their discipline and good planning, a resiliency which will serve them (and others) well.

As we look at these twenty-four statements of truth, we can also see that they are not just for families with children—-they are for all of us.  Whether single or married, with children or without, these are truths which will glorify God in all areas and challenges of relationships.  The Albus’ use them to train their children, but there is no age-limit for this level of discipleship.

So, with smiles on our faces for the demonstration of God’s truth and faithfulness which we so often see in our military, my husband and I left our friends’ house after our time together, able to proclaim this from Psalm 71:18: “Even when I am old and gray (yep, we’re there), do not forsake me, O God, till I declare Your power to the next generation, Your might to all who are to come.”

Work cited:

“Our Twenty-Four Family Ways” is found on pages 241-242 of Sally Clarkson’s The Mission of Motherhood, published by WaterBrook Press in 2003.  Our Twenty-Four Family Ways Family Devotional Guide is found on www.wholeheart.org

Questions to Share:

1. What impact could you see these twenty-four principles having in the training of your family? even yourself?
2. Pray that the Lord would lead you to a method of Scripture memory or Bible study which would allow you to grow spiritually during this deployment.