Chuck Swindoll, one of our favorite preachers, loves to tell stories of when he was a Marine on active duty. These stories offer multiple illustrations for his sermons. So it was not a surprise that on Veterans Day he posted a special prayer on his ministry website—and also gave his thanks to all of you who serve so faithfully. We want to share his prayer with you today, in honor of your sacrificial service to our dear country:
On this 251st birthday of the Marine Corps, we have the opportunity to reflect on things that are honorable. . . including the heroic service of Marines and their families throughout the history of the United States. It does us well to think on things that are honorable: “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
The source of “tired” can be either of the physical, emotional, cognitive, or spiritual genre. Regardless of source, most experience it. However, the question is can we manage it before “it” manages us?
Parenting well during a deployment begins with our faith—which begins with belief in the truth of Scripture. Being “plugged in” to our source of faith, the Lord Jesus, allows us to be full of “living water” (the Holy Spirit) which will then flow through us to our children. To put it another way—as Jesus tells us in John 15:5—we are to “abide in the vine.” Our family just experienced a 15 month separation. As I look back, I can point to seven truths to share about parenting during deployment:
October 31st is the date most well-known for the holiday we call Halloween. In a 2007 report, the estimated economic impact of Halloween is between 4 billion and 6 billion dollars—and now estimated to exceed $8 million. In Al Mohler’s article “Christianity and the Dark Side—What about Halloween?” he quotes historian Nicholas Rogers as saying, “Halloween is currently the second most important party night in North America. In terms of its retail potential, it is second only to Christmas. This commercialism fortifies its significance as a time of public license, a custom-designed opportunity to have a blast. Regardless of its spiritual complications, Halloween is big business.” But did you know that October 31st is also the anniversary of the day Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the church door in Wittenberg, Germany?
We met with them over lunch—such an impressive couple. He returned two months ago from a year’s deployment, and we wanted to hear how they were adjusting. We also wanted to hear what God had taught them in that year apart, because God is always at work. We knew what they had to share would be something we could pass along to others—they are just like that.
“If I’ve done something wrong, I’m sorry.” “. . . . and I’ll try not to do it again, but I can’t guarantee anything.” “I was wrong to _____, but it was really your fault.” Have you ever heard statements like these, or maybe even said them yourself? Clumsy apologies—if you can even call them apologies. And in marriage a bad apology, or lack of an apology, can begin to cost you the whole relationship.
Perhaps the most glorious paradox that we have witnessed in couples experiencing deployment has been to observe how they have drawn closer together while living far apart. This can only be accomplished in the love demonstrated in the cross of Jesus Christ—in that sacrificial giving of oneself that puts the other’s interests above our own.
As Sonja held down the fort while her husband Jason was deployed, she quickly saw the need to go on the offensive against spirits of fear, worry, resentment, anger and bitterness. Instead of waiting for discouragement to invade and occupy her home, she countered it at every turn by wielding the Sword of Truth: God’s Word.
I’ve been married to a soldier almost 14 years now and I think I’ve spent the whole time waiting. I’ve waited for orders, for our children (infertility then the process of adoption – twice), for deployments to start, for deployments to end. By now I should have the patience of Job. But I don’t. Waiting is really tough stuff.