Forgiveness . . . Here’s How

Forgiveness is such a counter-intuitive response to someone who does something wrong to us.It really doesn’t make any obvious sense to let people who offend us get away with it. What does seem to make sense is harboring our offense, letting it grow into bitterness and then releasing it as revenge.Many of us imagine Hollywood-like revenge scenarios. In our imaginings we are calm and cool and deliver a long, moving and convincing speech to someone who is undeniably a villain.We see a look of recognition in their eyes as they fall to our stinging, yet completely justifiable blows. They realize that we are completely right and that they are getting their just desserts . . . with extra syrup. Oh how Satan has us fooled!

Read more

E-tiquette, E-ware, E-careful, E-tcetera

Have you ever pushed the “Send” button on an email or text. . . .and then wished you could “take it back”? Once it’s gone, it’s gone. . . .and if you’ve experienced this feeling of regret, or maybe even panic, you know that email & texting are great tools but have their limitations. Without tone of voice, without context, without a smile or a frown, without really knowing how the other person is going to “receive” your message—it’s hard to rely on technology to communicate everything you want to your spouse.

Read more

Holding Hands–It Means More Than You Think

Recently we had the privilege of meeting with a couple married over sixty years—and he had served in three wars. He also was a POW in Vietnam for over six years. Their love and commitment to each other was evident in their story, in their smiles for each other, and in the way (during the interview), they held each other’s hand. This picture is of their loving clasp. They told us that they hold hands often, and everywhere they go.

Read more

Open Heart Surgery

One of my favorite "marriage" books is called The Marriage Miracle: How Soft Hearts Can Make a Couple Strong, by Bob & Cheryl Moeller. I can only share a small portion in this writing, but there are priceless nuggets in this book—from the Bible—which would cause us to perhaps re-think what happens when a husband and wife dare to “give up,” or grow cold towards each other. And what I found especially interesting in this publication was that marriage was not the only application of the book’s principles . . . any relationship is subject to one or the other becoming hard-hearted. So in a broader context, this book zeroes in on truth for us all. Having problems with relatives? with co-workers? with neighbors? maybe even fellow church members? We are all subject to becoming hard-hearted, even cynical, towards others, married or not.

Read more

The Presidents’ Wives

Growing up in Minnesota in the 1950s, February always meant two days off from school because of Abraham Lincoln’s birthday on February 12th and the celebration of George Washington’s birthday on February 22nd. But sometime in the late 1960s or early 1970s dates shifted—and what I had experienced as two “for-sure” days off became one “iffy” day off on a Monday—to celebrate “Presidents’ Day.” But there is an interesting aspect of these two presidents that our history books typically miss--the role of their wives and marriages in their leadership and presidencies.

Read more

Now on YouVersion!!

Two years ago, FamilyLife (a Cru ministry), approached me about taking ExcellentorPraiseworthy.org online devotions and editing them for YouVersion devotions! The editors at FamilyLife were well-aware that YouVersion is an increasingly popular Bible app, and wanted to make our web-based encouragement available on mobile devices. So that’s how this project began! We are pleased to announce that three YouVersion devotionals are now ready for you and your spouse to access for the Countdown to Deployment (10 days), to study Scripture together with Connecting during Deployment (20 days), and to exercise “reintegrace” for Reintegration after Deployment (7 days).

Read more

WWII and Beyond — A Story of Commitment

Valentine's Day has its challenges and opportunities during deployment, so I want to share with you a tender (yet powerful) story of a young Christian couple who kept their marriage strong and vibrant during World War II. Married for two days, they were separated by active duty for three and a half years (he on the front lines in Germany and she serving in the Pacific, in Papua New Guinea). When I met them in 1990, they had been married for almost fifty years. They went on, from that point, to live and love together another 10 years before he passed away. Recently I sat down with Louise, now living with her daughter and son-in-law, and recorded her story.

Read more

A Valentine Message–“Seven Ropes to Tie Two Boats”

It is not unusual to discover magazines and newspapers with advice for romance and marriage-building in anticipation of Valentine’s Day. Lately I have been pleased to notice how this secular advice has lined up with advice shared in Christian communities. That’s because it works! I recently read a newspaper article espousing marriage-enriching habits of holding hands, having regular date nights, going to bed at the same time . . . and thought, “That’s exactly what Jim and Barbara would advise!” Jim and Barbara Grunseth have been teaching and counseling couples for years. Their advice is sound, biblical, and practical. So I decided to get out my dog-eared and well-worn copy of one of their books, Remember the Rowboats: Anchor your Marriage to Christ, to share some of their timeless advice. You won’t find these points in newsstand copy, but you will find them encouraging and helpful—and true!

Read more

Hearing Voices

Some of the biggest mistakes I have made were because I followed bad advice. I listened to the wrong “voices.” I thought that following current cultural trends was more important than following age-old wisdom. I thought that everyone’s motives were pure and that they knew what was best for me. I thought I could trust anyone with experience, even if that experience had led them into failure. I thought that many college degrees made a person an expert. I thought that an older generation couldn’t possibly relate to my contemporary situations. I thought that no one could possibly understand what I was going through unless they had “walked a mile in my shoes.” I thought that clichés like, “if it feels good, do it”. . . and “I’m okay, you’re okay” . . . and “there’s no such thing as black and white—everything is gray,” were true statements on which to base major decisions. And in a very contradictory way, I thought there was no such thing as truth—that humanism and situational ethics ruled the day. I was wrong, and many others with me. And there are consequences to bad choices.

Read more
Back To Top