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Having “The Talk”

While researching the material for the new HomeBuilders study Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready, our writing team met with numerous chaplains, churches, and service members of all branches as we pursued a goal of ensuring our material was relevant to the challenges of military life today. One of the significant meetings was with a Gold Star widow near Ft. Hood. She insisted—maybe even stronger than that—that we include an exercise in the study which would walk a couple through the steps of having “The Talk.”

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“The Submariner Treatment”

I have a great dentist. Through the years he has taken care of my teeth by preventing problems and treating problems. Lately he has even put up with some of my whining about aging, expensive crowns, and gum erosion . . . Just the other day, when I was in for a “routine cleaning” (thank goodness there wasn’t anything else wrong!), I told him that the next time I come in I will need a thorough exam because I might be heading to a remote location for a while—and I don’t want any surprises while I am away. His response was, “Oh, so you want The Submariner Treatment!”

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Thrive, not just Survive!

It was at Ft. Hood that we first heard the phrase, “I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive!” A young Army wife was expressing her determination that, no matter what the circumstances, she was going to make the best of the deployment which she and her husband were facing (again). Seated around the table were others who agreed with her—they were tired of being categorized in a role of “victim” and were wanting to show the world what good stuff Army wives are made of! It was impressive. . . . a meeting I don’t think I will ever forget.

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40 Days of the Deployment Dare

We look forward to what the Lord is going to do with these online opportunities to use the principles of The Love Dare and practice unconditional love for your spouse. Whether deployed or at home, whether you have seen the movie “Fireproof” or not, whether you have a copy of the book or not, there will be something in this exercise which will challenge you to love like you mean it. Please, take the dare. It will be worth it!

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Christmas Presence

“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift.” —2 Corinthians 9:15 Is this the Bible verse that you normally think of when you think of Christmas? Probably not . . . . Traditionally we go to the second chapter of Luke and begin with, “In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.” (Luke 2:1) But it makes a wonderful study to look throughout the Bible for verses which point to the coming of God’s gift of Jesus Christ!

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Her Favorite Christmas Present

It was her favorite Christmas present, she said. Perhaps it was his, too, but he was still recovering from long months at sea and was needing to catch up on sleep. As they stood before us they still had that “newlywed glow” about them, even though most of their wedded life had been spent apart due to military duty. So when they were telling us about their first Christmas together there were smiles going back and forth between each other, and eyes sparkling with the chance to tell what was so very special about their first time of giving and receiving gifts as husband and wife.

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Lonely Christmas

Though I sat in a room full of people, I’d never felt more alone. A big part of my heart was missing. It would have been our fourth Christmas together … and yet, we weren’t together. My sweet husband was many miles away in the Middle East. My children and I missed him terribly. It just didn’t feel “right.” Was this sacrifice we were making for our country really worth it?

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“My PTSD and The Redemptive Power of Christ”

How Jesus healed me from PTSD is truly a powerful redemptive work of grace in my life, but the recovery did not happen overnight. On my second deployment to Iraq (from August 2006 to October 2007) I served with the 1-26 Infantry Battalion, which sustained more casualties than any other military unit since Vietnam. We lost 35 soldiers and over 130 were wounded. Many of the wounded ended up as amputees. I conducted 24 memorial ceremonies for our fallen soldiers, provided over 200 hours of grief counseling, and was also wounded due to an IED blast. Before returning home I began experiencing what behavioral health experts call “burn out” and “compassion fatigue.”

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