Have you ever needed some encouragement? Have circumstances brought you to a place where you are fearful, impatient, confused, or losing strength in the midst of life’s battles? I believe that discouragement is one of Satan’s favorite, and most effective, “fiery darts”. If this is the case, then perhaps one of the greatest gifts that we can give to each other are words of encouragement.
You would think after writing and editing Excellent or Praiseworthy since 2007, that I would have read, heard or thought about everything to be learned from Philippians 4:8 ... But in 2014, I was challenged by teaching I had never considered. That is taking Philippians 4:8 into one of the most normal, everyday struggles of marriage—conflict between husband and wife.
“Identity Crisis” is a long devotion—one of the longest we have posted. Knowing your ops tempo we are surprised when the numbers come in as to its popularity. That speaks to us of the need for spiritual material dealing with growth during deployment, and we are grateful to God. We were already planning on a follow-up piece using JJ Heller’s “What Love Really Means.” So we post it tonight with joy and anticipation for how God is going to use it to affirm you in your spiritual walk with Him during this time of war:
Because of the rigors of deployment and the struggles of life, have you started asking yourself, “Who am I anymore?” Perhaps you can call that an “identity crisis”—when you begin to question or contemplate or doubt what makes you important or what makes you worthwhile. Many people tie their importance or identity to a number of different things: career progression, rank, relationships, checkbook & savings balance, housing, car, what parents or spouse or sibling or supervisor or physical appearance or even the past says about them. What is the major problem with this list? It leaves out God and what He has to say about who you are.
There are those couples who are familiar with deployments and can be vast sources of help in warning others of the dangers to the health of a marriage which can occur when we don’t take seriously the special challenges of living separately due to military orders. They have safely navigated the twists and turns, and know the unique conditions under which a couple needs to take particular caution. Do you know some of these couples? Look around. . . ask around. . .pray to meet this couple who has lived victoriously in spite of the hazards. They have much wisdom to share.
It was September 7th. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that date because it was the day before my husband was to be deployed to the Middle East. At the time, I had a 2-year-old daughter and a 3-month-old son who were really going to miss their daddy. And I already felt lost thinking about the impending separation from my one true companion in life. It was both the best and worst of days.
We had many “hellos” and “good-byes” during our military days—with plenty of TDYs, deployments, training, exercises, and the Vietnam War. The “good-byes” were always difficult (understatement) . . . and the “hellos” were always glorious. Whether we were parting for a day, a week, a month or a year I always tried to stick by the training I got from that one book and that one wives’ meeting.
Because I enjoy reading biographies, on this Presidents’ Day it should not surprise you that I would want to look a bit at Abraham Lincoln and George Washington—and especially at the role of their marriages in their presidencies. They stand at sharp contrast to one another in terms of the personalities of their wives and the harmony in their households.
It is not unusual to discover magazines and newspapers with advice for romance and marriage-building in anticipation of Valentine’s Day. Lately I have been pleased to notice how this secular advice has lined up with advice shared in Christian communities. That’s because it works! I recently read a newspaper article espousing marriage-enriching habits of holding hands, having regular date nights, going to bed at the same time. . . and thought, “That’s exactly what Jim and Barbara would advise! Jim and Barbara Grunseth have been teaching and counseling couples for years. Their advice is sound, biblical, and practical. So I decided to get out my dog-eared and well-worn copy of one of their books, Remember the Rowboats: Anchor your Marriage to Christ, to share some of their timeless advice. You won’t find these points in newsstand copy, but you will find them encouraging and helpful—and true!
“Many people ask me how it feels to be the wife of a former serviceman. I can sum it up in one word: personal. It’s very personal because it’s now our story, our sacrifice, our time lost. Joe’s deployment to Iraq directly affected who we were and who we are today. Surviving the experience for Joe (physically and emotionally), and for me (psychologically and emotionally), taught us that living out our vows was overwhelmingly important and real."