WWII and Beyond — A Story of Commitment

Valentine's Day has its challenges and opportunities during deployment, so I want to share with you a tender (yet powerful) story of a young Christian couple who kept their marriage strong and vibrant during World War II. Married for two days, they were separated by active duty for three and a half years (he on the front lines in Germany and she serving in the Pacific, in Papua New Guinea). When I met them in 1990, they had been married for almost fifty years. They went on, from that point, to live and love together another 10 years before he passed away. Recently I sat down with Louise, now living with her daughter and son-in-law, and recorded her story.
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A Valentine Message–“Seven Ropes to Tie Two Boats”

It is not unusual to discover magazines and newspapers with advice for romance and marriage-building in anticipation of Valentine’s Day. Lately I have been pleased to notice how this secular advice has lined up with advice shared in Christian communities. That’s because it works! I recently read a newspaper article espousing marriage-enriching habits of holding hands, having regular date nights, going to bed at the same time . . . and thought, “That’s exactly what Jim and Barbara would advise!” Jim and Barbara Grunseth have been teaching and counseling couples for years. Their advice is sound, biblical, and practical. So I decided to get out my dog-eared and well-worn copy of one of their books, Remember the Rowboats: Anchor your Marriage to Christ, to share some of their timeless advice. You won’t find these points in newsstand copy, but you will find them encouraging and helpful—and true!
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Hearing Voices

Some of the biggest mistakes I have made were because I followed bad advice. I listened to the wrong “voices.” I thought that following current cultural trends was more important than following age-old wisdom. I thought that everyone’s motives were pure and that they knew what was best for me. I thought I could trust anyone with experience, even if that experience had led them into failure. I thought that many college degrees made a person an expert. I thought that an older generation couldn’t possibly relate to my contemporary situations. I thought that no one could possibly understand what I was going through unless they had “walked a mile in my shoes.” I thought that clichés like, “if it feels good, do it”. . . and “I’m okay, you’re okay” . . . and “there’s no such thing as black and white—everything is gray,” were true statements on which to base major decisions. And in a very contradictory way, I thought there was no such thing as truth—that humanism and situational ethics ruled the day. I was wrong, and many others with me. And there are consequences to bad choices.
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Having “The Talk”

While researching the material for the new HomeBuilders study Making Your Marriage Deployment Ready, our writing team met with numerous chaplains, churches, and service members of all branches as we pursued a goal of ensuring our material was relevant to the challenges of military life today. One of the significant meetings was with a Gold Star widow near Ft. Hood. She insisted—maybe even stronger than that—that we include an exercise in the study which would walk a couple through the steps of having “The Talk.”
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“The Submariner Treatment”

I have a great dentist. Through the years he has taken care of my teeth by preventing problems and treating problems. Lately he has even put up with some of my whining about aging, expensive crowns, and gum erosion . . . Just the other day, when I was in for a “routine cleaning” (thank goodness there wasn’t anything else wrong!), I told him that the next time I come in I will need a thorough exam because I might be heading to a remote location for a while—and I don’t want any surprises while I am away. His response was, “Oh, so you want The Submariner Treatment!”
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Thrive, not just Survive!

It was at Ft. Hood that we first heard the phrase, “I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive!” A young Army wife was expressing her determination that, no matter what the circumstances, she was going to make the best of the deployment which she and her husband were facing (again). Seated around the table were others who agreed with her—they were tired of being categorized in a role of “victim” and were wanting to show the world what good stuff Army wives are made of! It was impressive. . . . a meeting I don’t think I will ever forget.
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40 Days of the Deployment Dare

We look forward to what the Lord is going to do with these online opportunities to use the principles of The Love Dare and practice unconditional love for your spouse. Whether deployed or at home, whether you have seen the movie “Fireproof” or not, whether you have a copy of the book or not, there will be something in this exercise which will challenge you to love like you mean it. Please, take the dare. It will be worth it!
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Christmas Presence

“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift.” —2 Corinthians 9:15 Is this the Bible verse that you normally think of when you think of Christmas? Probably not . . . . Traditionally we go to the second chapter of Luke and begin with, “In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.” (Luke 2:1) But it makes a wonderful study to look throughout the Bible for verses which point to the coming of God’s gift of Jesus Christ!
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Her Favorite Christmas Present

It was her favorite Christmas present, she said. Perhaps it was his, too, but he was still recovering from long months at sea and was needing to catch up on sleep. As they stood before us they still had that “newlywed glow” about them, even though most of their wedded life had been spent apart due to military duty. So when they were telling us about their first Christmas together there were smiles going back and forth between each other, and eyes sparkling with the chance to tell what was so very special about their first time of giving and receiving gifts as husband and wife.
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